Little Clouds

I went into my office (Alhambra Safeway) this afternoon, trying my darnedest to avoid the afternoon dinner rush.   A glance at my blackberry said too late.    The cart runner in her bright orange safety vest could just keep up with the demand.

People pushing their carts (without power steering) looking every where except where their going.  On a typical day I travel left to right into the store, but there was a major traffic jam near the  $5.oo  Rotisserie Chicken Special and a hopeless jam at the $5.oo pizzas (where is the channel 3 traffic helicopter when you need it?)

The aisle near the check out was surprisingly clear (go right young man)  so I ziffer to the produce section for squash, tomato and onions. ( Hmm maybe everyone shops left to right)  Today all the checkers are wearing blue tee shirts trying to get donations for colon cancer.

I was proud of myself, I avoided the traffic jam, until I turned left.

The produce area was at gridlock, some people abandoned their carts other were backing into people, others were aimlessly crashing into people-instead of looking  forward, they’re looking at the bagged salads.      As I stepped away from my cart to grab a tomato, someone bumped it out of the way..   I ran and caught up with my cart with the  box of Raisin Bran ,the perpetrator seemed a bit embarrassed.   It took me a couple of minutes to get to the onions (the squash was a lost cause.

Excuse me, as yet another shopper drives into my widescreen ass…..  come on y’all, were talkin Imax here.  You cant see this!      I’m sorry, as another shopper runs into me and the glass door as I try to grab a carton of milk….     I need to get the F*** out of here I say to myself.    All I need is a loaf or bread and I’m outta here.  I’ll get the rest later.

Of course there would only be six checkers…. damm, damm, damm,–oh wait- only two people are  in number 4 Express line…all right-free at last.    All of a sudden this older women who clearly has more than 20 items  cuts me off.   Of course as luck would have it- she used all of her energy to cut my big ass off.

From this point one…she is in s-l-o-w m-o-t-i-o-n.        ooooooooooooh  wait—let me put in my  t-e-l-e-p-h-o-n-e Number.    beep beep beeeeeep   beeep beeep  beeeeep beeep,  beep.  jeez,  Then she slowly opened here purse….ooh, I need a carton of Winston’s   (are you kidding me!)

Suddenly,the front of the store is at stand still, people cant move, grid lock in front, people are stopping to friggin chat.!    Finally its my turn….   The older lady has left her cart in front of the main entrance door to look at newspapers and now  people are now having difficulty getting in or out of the store.   she like the other shoppers are obvious the rest of world, just floating in their own little worlds… Now I’m trying to leave, I notice this one women about to lose it….I jokingly said ..boy this is truly gridlock…(well I thought it was lighthearted) the women screamed  ”I am so HUNGRY”  this got the attention of the  lady at  the newspapers and she moved her cart a couple of feel.   When I left, she was only blocking one of the doors.