“Close Your Purse”
This term applies to gay, straight, men and women.
Cant seem to get beyond the first date?
Your out on the first date and your pause button on your mouth malfunctions ..and you proceed to tell your date man about your past and everyone you’ve dated. Telling every thing, overwhelming your date with information and possibly telling him things he shouldn’t know.
Are you ready to date?
You’ve just came out of a bad relationship and its in your head. A bad breakup a messy divorce or a resent breakup or divorce.
A few months after I was divorced,I met a nice women in Cameron Park who stood up after less than five minutes and said, you’re not ready to date, you’re not over your wife and she left. BITCH! I said in my head. A few days later I realized she was right.
If the tape of the last relationship or relationships is still playing in your head, your not available for a new relationship.
I met someone and the chemistry was instant. Dinner went into the night. On the pillow, I talked about my ex and people I met online, I talked about our sexual chemistry and went into great detail on how the others didn’t work.
I have no idea Why? (it wasn’t the first time) Perhaps insecurity or ego. By the time I returned home, I was hooked, it was love. One, two, three days past without a phone call, I knew there was an attraction , this was not your run of the mill hook up. Finally, I called , the call was very pleasant but direct I like you, but I live a simple life and you wouldn’t suit me. and the call ended.
Dazed, (u wouldn’t suit me!!! ) I became the CityFella the stalker(wouldn’t suit you !-I don’t think so swammy!), making up reasons to call or email . This wasn’t like me, and in my head I was turning to a girl. Typically, I’m aloof, ” but not this time and every call was kind and polite.
Feeling out of control, I called a dear friend to share my story. After listening to me” he said you have to learn to close your purse” no one wants or need to know who you’ve been with. Why do need to tell all your bizness”? I had to sit with myself a while. Life is a process, I think it was insecurity, or simply a bad habit.
The word is ”available”
Today I am over it… But I learned an important lesson. The first date is an informational meeting, your feeling each other out. If your date is talking about an ex they are not available for you. Who want’s to hear about an ex. The first date is about the possibilties. We all have baggage, and we take that baggage where ever we go.. But the person were meeting for first time, doesn’t have his possessions in your bags. He or she is not the source of your pain. If you can’t get pass the last person you where in a relationship you not available for a new one.
Its not attractive to kiss n tell, who you’ve been with and who you or he knows has nothing to do with your the person sitting across the table. There is no reason to share everything you know on the first, second or third date. Your past will be revealed in time. So in the meantime have fun enjoy the Salsa and try not to double dip