Advertisements

How gay Chinese hide their relationships behind ‘sham marriages’


In China – where same-sex unions are not legal and homosexuality remains taboo – gay men and women are marrying each other

When Xiaoxiong and her lesbian lover wanted to hide their relationship from their parents, they decided to find men willing to marry them. They had a specific type in mind: gay.

Searching out suitors for such a marriage of convenience proved difficult, so she created an online matchmaking forum to help others like her conform with family and societal pressures in China, where same-sex marriage is not legal and homosexuality remains taboo.

“I was so relieved that there was a way to please my parents without getting trapped in a marriage with some poor straight man,” said Xiaoxiong, self-described tomboy, who did not want to give her surname to protect her privacy.

“Some of us wish we could trick ourselves, too,” the 35-year-old added.

She lives with her partner, Xiaojing, 36, their dog and two cats in Shenyang, the capital of northeastern Liaoning province, one of China’s more conservative regions.

But during holidays and special occasions, they separate to be with their husbands and families, pretending to be traditional wives.

In China being openly gay is still fraught with difficulties. Dressing a certain way or public displays of affection can draw stares and lead to family turmoil.

Some Chinese parents have even brought gay children to “conversion” clinics for treatment.

Homosexuality was classified as a mental illness in China until 2001 and a crime until 1997, and authorities have arrested gay rights activists.

Around 90 per cent of 20 million gay men in China are married to women who are usually straight and do not initially know their husband’s real sexual orientation, according to a 2012 study from Qingdao University. The study did not look at lesbians’ behavior.

But gay men and women are increasingly marrying each other in so-called cooperative marriages.

There are no estimates on the number of gay-lesbian marriages, but several websites dedicated to them have popped up in recent years.

The largest one, Chinagayles.com, says it has amassed more than 400,000 users and facilitated more than 50,000 cooperative marriages in the past 12 years.

Homophobia in China

“When I turned 25, my parents started to really pressure me to get married. So I searched the internet for ideas,” Xiaoxiong said.

She started her own forum on the popular QQ social media platform to help gays like herself find the ideal fake spouse in northeast China.

Some of the men she spoke with had unrealistic expectations, such as wanting her to grow out her buzz cut or move to a different city to live in the same house as in-laws.

In 2012, she married a high school maths teacher 10 years her senior whose laid-back demeanour immediately made her feel comfortable.

But she cringes at the wedding photos of herself in a white gown and curly black wig. The video makes her “want to vomit”, she concedes.

Within weeks of the ceremony, Xiaojing, her partner for eight years, had also wed a gay man.

The two women run a traditional Chinese medical practice together, and they dedicate several hours each week to answering questions on the online matchmaking forum.

But Xiaojing warns people interested in cooperative marriages to be prepared for potential complications.

“Some people rush into a marriage with someone they barely know,” she said. “But just like real marriage, it only works between people who agree on important things like where to live and whether to have children, and who genuinely care about each other.”

But some gay rights activists frown upon such arrangements.

“By pretending to be straight and enjoying the social benefits, they are abandoning other LGBT people to face the pressure alone,” said Ah Qiang, a prominent activist who leads China’s PFLAG group – Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays.

“I think a reason homophobia is still so strong in China is that many straight people don’t know any openly gay people,” he said.

Xiaoxiong and Xiaojing believe their families likely know the truth about their relationship, but nobody wants to acknowledge the obvious.

“We don’t wish for much,” Xiaoxiong said. “When we are home, when we are sitting side by side, we just feel so peaceful and happy.”

South China Morning Post

Advertisements

RHOA: S10 Ep3 ‘Chateau Get Down’


Image result for the real housewives of atlanta season 10 episode 3

Sheree brings back the 70’s  Moore of Kenya’s Mystery Man

Cynthia dates a MAN!   Kandi Xscapes the OLG

Porsha Dream Salon-Gregg’s Emergency

Last nights episode began with Porsha and family at a salon getting body wraps,  Perhaps this is a new part of her vegan regiment. (yawn).

Meanwhile C. Bailey continues to make 50 look good. We go with her on he first date with “Will” who seems to bring the perfect into gentleman.  He is thoughtful and polite. he doesn’t bring his cell phone on dates.  Will at 41 ,is closer to her age.  C. Bailey likes what she sees and unlike her last date, he didn’t make her work or scratch her car with his Big Wheel .

Sheree is planning a 70’s themed birthday party for mana Thelma. Her children including Sheree’s 31 year old daughter (Bravo can be soo messey-and I love it! ) are shopping for costumes.

Its hott in Atlanta, complains Gregg and he and Nene sit by the pool. I guess being in the Air Conditioned  house isn’t on option. We see their son Brent, for the first time in years and the boy is huge.

Kandi and Todd has a meeting with staff.  The OLG restaurant has a large and unfamiliar staff and they are in the need for General Manager.  Speaking of Changes Carman is leaving the Kandi factory and is starting her own insurance company.  Kandi is underwriting the business.  ( I want to be Kandi’s friend too!)  The meeting seems to be a review of the gossip which includes talk about the Xscape tour. Meeting Adjourned

Cynthia visits Moore manor.  Kenya says, the dog peed on her wedding dress.   This dog is five inches tall.   Either the dress was on the floor or the the dogs has an extenda dick with a powerspray function.  Come on Kenya, Come on!

Porsha, Porsha, Porsha, wants to open a salon with sister Lauren.   They meet with a business manager and a Real Estate professional  . While the business manager wants a plan our Porsha is plan less.   When asked what would make her Salon stand out in Atlanta, she believes her star power alone would bring in the clients.   While she tells her sister Lauren, its there project where Lauren would be in charge of the day to day operations, Porsha figures a fair split would be 85% and Lauren would receive 15%  Lauren feelings are hurt because it sound less than a partnership and Porsha seems to feel she is already getting benefits by living in her home.   Porsha who has a budget of ten thousand dollars* a month wants to open the salon in month.   The professionals tell her with permits finding a location etc a realistic time is nine months.   * Ten thousand dollars, didn’t Porsha say she couldn’t afford 10k for an airline trip to attend her best friends wedding?

Gregg went to the hospital concerned about chest pains. Insists Nene goes to Sheree;s party.

Sheree was having party planning issues. I was hoping for a new catch phase. “Who gonna check me boo” is still relevent after all these years.   Sheree’s party planner initially said she was running a little late and then abruptly cancelled telling Sheree she was on her own.    I love ya Sheree, but I wonder if payment was and issue?.

KENYA MO!    I want you to find love, I want to believe you are married. But you make it hard for us.  When every time you call your hubby, we don’t hear his voice.  You went through great lengths to make us believe calling him several times leaving messages.   Nene , who doesn’t miss a trick sees his side of the closet and notices most of the things have price tags on them so you can take them all back to Ross and get you money back.   I wanna believe, Kenya but you make if difficult.

The Party at Chateau Sheree is festive and everyone is having a good time in their  seventies garb.

The next day, Gregg is freaking out a little out the hospital (you can hear it in his voice) he has low blood pressure and they have changed the time of his procedure and he wants Nene there.

Folks despite Nene’s return, this was a little slow.  This episode was about a four. Next week Kim Z is returning. Perhaps her shock paddles will bring life back to Atlanta.

CityFella

A surprising number of adults are still scared of the dark and check for monsters under their bed


A shocking 64 per cent admit to still being scared of the dark in a new poll (Image: Getty)

According to a new poll, 17% sleep with a light on while 18% jump into bed with their kids if they’re too scared to sleep alone. A staggering 64% of British adults admit they are still scared of the dark, according to a new study.

Researchers discovered that nearly two thirds of the nation dislike putting the lights out at bedtime, while 36% regularly get the feeling someone or something is in the room with them.

As many as one in five (20%) of the 2,000 adults polled by sleep experts Bensons for Beds said they regularly check under the bed for lurking monsters and close cupboard and wardrobe doors before they get into bed.

Nearly two thirds hate putting the lights out at bedtime (Image: Getty)

A further 17% sleep with a light on most nights of the week.

The new poll comes days after a  John Lewis Christmas Advertisement which sees loveable Moz the Monster befriend little boy Joe after he sets up home under his bed.

But according to Bensons’ research, not everyone is expecting a friendly monster – as the average adult wakes up at least twice a month feeling scared that something creepy and untoward is hiding in the room.

One in five admitted to checking their beds, cupboards and wardrobes before bed (Image: Getty)

Almost half (48%) said they have an overactive imagination, which leads to them feeling scared and frightened of the smallest sounds and noises.

In fact, 22% of the nation confessed they do not like to poke their foot out from underneath the duvet in case something grabs it, while a quarter of adults believe they have seen a mysterious shadow in their bedroom.

WATCH THE 2017 JOHN LEWIS CHRISTMAS ADVERT IN FULL

The survey showed 18% of parents have even hopped into bed with their children as they were too scared to sleep alone.

In fact, women are the most likely to suffer, with 53% of women saying they are scared to be in the house alone compared to 25% of men.

Henry Swift, Chief Customer Officer at Bensons for Beds said: “This research highlights that some of the fears and insecurities we have as children, stay with us well until adulthood.

“Whilst it’s sensible to double and triple check doors and windows are locked securely, there is probably little need to check the wardrobe or under the bed for monsters, but at some point we have all felt nervous during the night when we hear a floorboard creak or can’t make out a shadow clearly.

36% regularly get the feeling someone or something is in the room with them (Image: Getty)
When it comes to worrying about things that go bump in the night, the most common time for adults to become alarmed is 2:30am.

Four in ten adults regularly peer out from behind the bedroom curtains to check no one is lurking outside – however there is safety in numbers as one in five adults even drag their other half to the toilet with them if they have to spend a penny during the night.

Australia says YES to same-sex marriage


Marriage equality could be legal by Christmas after 61.6% of participants in the voluntary survey approve a change to the law

Marriage equality advocates in Melbourne celebrate as the result of the postal survey is announced.

Marriage equality advocates in Melbourne celebrate as the result of the postal survey is announced. Photograph: Scott Barbour/Getty Images

By: Paul Karp/UK Guardian

Australia has taken a decisive step towards legislating marriage equality by Christmas after 61.6% of voters in an unprecedented national postal survey approved a change to the law to allow couples of the same sex to marry.

With a turnout of 79.5% the result in the voluntary survey is considered a highly credible reflection of Australian opinion and gives marriage equality advocates enormous momentum to achieve the historic social reform. Australia’s chief statistician, David Kalisch, announced the results at a press conference in Canberra at 10am on Wednesday, revealing 7,817,247 people voted in favour and 4,873,987 voted against.

At a press conference in Canberra, Turnbull said that Australians had “spoken in their millions and they have voted overwhelmingly yes for marriage equality”.

Turnbull said the result was “unequivocal and overwhelming”, implicitly warning conservatives including in his own government that the public are “our masters” and the parliament must now deliver on the result.

“They voted yes for fairness, yes for commitment, yes for love. And now it is up to us here in the parliament of Australia to get on with it, to get on with the job the Australian people asked us to do and get this done,” he said, stressing the law should change before Christmas.

At a rally in Melbourne, the Labor leader, Bill Shorten, said: “What a fabulous day to be an Australian – because in this survey the Australian people have declared overwhelmingly Australia is ready for marriage equality.

“And I just want to make one promise: today we celebrate, tomorrow we legislate,” he said.

Bill Shorten celebrates the results of the same-sex marriage postal survey in Melbourne.
 Bill Shorten celebrates the results of the same-sex marriage postal survey in Melbourne. Photograph: Scott Barbour/Getty Images

Turnbull, same-sex marriage supporters in Australia’s ruling Liberal-National party Coalition, the Labor opposition, Greens and other cross-bench parties have reached a consensus around a cross-party bill that makes minimalist changes to protect religious freedom without legalizing discrimination by commercial service providers, such as cake makers, as some conservatives in the Coalition government have demanded.

Appearing alongside Turnbull, the finance minister, Mathias Cormann, said the cross-party bill was a “good starting point” but he believed “there is a need for some additional religious protections”, signalling amendments could still be contentious within the government.

The bill will be introduced in to the Senate on Wednesday for debate on Thursday and Shorten has offered the opposition’s support to help “stare down the conservatives seeking to delay marriage equality”.

A bill is expected to pass, with many opponents of marriage equality in parliament promising to respect the result, although parliament may consider amendments. Coalition parliamentarians, who were previously required to vote against marriage equality will now be given a free vote, Labor MPs are almost universally in favour and a majority of crossbenchers will also support the bill.

On Tuesday, Turnbull said the government “would not countenance”legalizing discrimination against same-sex weddings by commercial service providers and warned a rival conservative bill to do so would have “virtually no prospect” of passing parliament.

In a speech after the result Equality Campaign spokesman, Alex Greenwich, said: “Today love has had a landslide victory.”

“Together we have achieved something truly remarkable, a win for fairness and equality, not only for the LGBTI community and our families, but for all Australians,” he said.

Greenwich said the campaign had made more than 1 million  phone calls and knocked 100,000 doors, an “unprecedented” level of support that had exceeded “any campaign in our history”.

“In doing so it has delivered an unequivocal mandate to federal parliament to vote this through by the end of the year.”

With the positive result, Turnbull, a supporter of same-sex marriage leading a party that straddles both liberal and conservative traditions, looks to have finally achieved a win against reactionaries in his party that oppose the social reform.

https://interactive.guim.co.uk/charts/embed/nov/2017-11-15T00:54:29/embed.html

Some conservatives have suggested they will put forward their marriage bill in the Coalition party room in two weeks, but senior ministers including Cormann have protected the prime minister’s position by insisting the parliament will choose which bill and amendments to allow.

Same-sex marriage has been banned in Australia since 2004 when the Howard government changed the Marriage Act to define marriage as between a man and a woman. As many comparable countries such as the US and Britain allowed or legislated for same-sex marriage, Australia looked increasingly out of step. After the successful marriage equality referendum in Ireland in May 2015, pressure grew on the Australian government to legislate but the Coalition party room agreed on a national plebiscite instead, although there was no legal requirement to do so.

A crowd celebrates the results of the postal survey in front of the State Library of Victoria Wednesday.
 A crowd celebrates the results of the postal survey in front of the State Library of Victoria Wednesday. Photograph: Scott Barbour/Getty Images

When Turnbull took the prime ministership from conservative predecessor Tony Abbott. In September 2015, he retained the Coalition’s commitment to hold a national plebiscite on same-sex marriage before changing the law.

Labor, the Greens and other opposition parties blocked the proposed plebiscite in the Senate in November 2016 and August 2017, leading the Turnbull government to launch a $122 million voluntary national postal survey to fulfill its election commitment to give Australians a say.

In a bruising three-month campaign, opponents of marriage equality including the Australian Christian Lobby, and the Catholic and Anglican churches in Sydney, claimed same-sex marriage would have far reaching negative consequences for gender education. Former prime ministers Tony Abbott and John Howard warned that religious freedom and freedom of speech were at risk.

The yes camp’s Equality Campaign combined with moderate Liberals, Labor, the Greens, unions and progressive campaign organisation Get Up to argue that same-sex marriage was a matter of equality and fairness.

The campaign featured everyday Australians, their friends and families, emphasising that the only question was whether LGBTI Australians should be able to marry the one they love.

Despite assertions from Turnbull that the survey would be overwhelmingly respectful , the campaign has been marred by homophobic incidents and campaign material which continued largely unabated despite a special law passed to apply electoral law safeguards to the survey, such as authorization requirements for campaign materials.

The campaign also featured two unsuccessful high court challenges against the expenditure of $122m for the survey, as marriage equality advocates fought to prevent the poll seen as an affront because it determined LGBTI people’s equality before the law by a majoritarian vote.

Public polling throughout the campaign showed consistent support for marriage equality and weekly estimates showed the survey was on-track for a record turnout.

The no campaign took increasingly bizarre turns, with Abbott using an assault that even his attacker said had nothing to do with marriage to rally Australians to his cause, and conservatives attempting to use rapper Macklemore’s performance of his hit Same Love at the rugby league grand final to claim the national campaign they called for had inappropriately politicized Australian institutions.

The cross-party bill will be debated in the Senate on Thursday and the parliamentary sitting week beginning 27 November, with supporters of marriage equality aiming to pass a bill through both houses of parliament before they rise on 7 December.

Fresh not Frozen: Senatorial Candidate Roy Moore Flirted With Teen girls may have been banned from local Mall


Photo of Gadsen Mall - Gadsden, AL, United StatesGadsden Mall

 

Roy MooreRelated image regularly hung out at an Alabama shopping mall, flirting with teenaged girls and much younger women, local residents said.

The embattled US Senate candidate – accused, on the record, by five women of making creepy moves on them when they were teens and he was in his 30s – was a regular at the Gadsden Mall where he enjoyed chatting up young ladies, witnesses told AL.com.

“He would go and flirt with all the young girls,” said nurse Blake Usry, who grew up in the area and lives in Gadsden. “Nobody could believe they hadn’t come out yet.”

 

Click Link Below for the rest of the Stories

 

http://nypost.com/2017/11/13/locals-claim-moore-hung-out-at-mall-flirted-with-teen-girls/

The story below has not been verified

http://uproxx.com/news/roy-moore-banned-from-alabama-mall-cruising-for-dates/

RHOA: S10 Ep2 Not Over It


Image result for porsha williams and shamea morton

Ladies and Gentlemen!  I give you Cynthia Bailey.!  All of her!   I’ve watched all the Bravo franchises and have never seen a housewives getting in the tub and shaving her legs in the tub.  Yes, Angela Stone from the Real Housewives of Auckland took pictures for the cover of her book in the tub.  This seemed like a commercial for a woman’s shaver or bubble bath.   Just an observation and yes she has it.

We join Ms Bailey on date in what looks like a giant chicken coop.  He date blindfolds her and reveals they are in his studio. Dinner is prepared.  Did I mention her date is  a photographer,who takes pictures of her. The cynical me says the photos are to boost his career.   At dinner they discuss age, he’s 29 she’s not end of story.

Across town at Porsha’s sister Lauren and her child is moving in, there is some baby daddy issues.

Sheree sees a Life Coach, the abuse that surfaced last season with Bob is a heavy cloud she can’t shake.  Despite the show airing, she still hasn’t had the discussion with her children. Her Coach recommends a dry run, where she inacts a conversation with friends. She has the dry run at Kandi’s House.

After Cynthia divorced, she thought she and Kenya would be burning up the streets as two single women.   We learn the beginnings of Kenya super fast relationship.  Sounds like hubby has a couple of coins.  Problem is he is a private person who married a public person and she is worried about their future.

Shamea, Porsha’s bestie is  getting married in Kenya.   From the moment Phaedra entered Porsha’s life her relationship with Shamea has been bumpy .    The Bentley driving Porsha, says she cant afford a 10K first class ticket to her besties wedding. and she has a medical condition that prevents her from flying coach.

Shamea has an shower.  Everyone is in hats.   I didn’t recognize Sheree ,wearing a dark blonde wig.  Porsha said she looked like Kim Zolciak (yall leave Porsha alone, only Porsha would think Sheree looks like white woman.)   Porsha also thinks she and Kandi are okay.  When she joins the table, Kandi gets up and leaves.

Kandi returns with friend Carmon on the other end of the table.  (we know Carmon has jokes)   Shamea and Porsha have known each other since they were children and she wanted to know why wasn’t she attending?  Porsha, well I sent you a not from my doctor.   Carmon reached into her purse and said she has a note for everything.   Porsha at one point said she basically has low blood pressure that wont allow her to set for long periods.   Carmon came back with yes she not used to having her legs down that long cause they are usually  up in the air . (Now come on Bravo, yall was being shady and we love it. I question if they were sitting at the same table cause Porsha would have turned over that table if she heard any of Carmon’s comments. )

Image result for the real housewives of atlanta season 10 episode 2

The episode ended with Shamea and Porsha arguing.  Porsha’s upset, that Shemea brought this up in front of Kandi.    Clearly there are deep feelings from Shemea wanting her bestie at her side.  As the door was closing Porsha called Shemea a bitch and said she will love her from afar .

This Episode was a 5 out of 10

CityFella

Woman Unseats GOP Lawmaker Who Made Sexist Joke About Women’s March


sacratomatovillepost-wms13.jpg.jpg

On Tuesday, life came at John Carman fast.

By: Inae Oh/Mother Jones

Nearly 10 months after the New Jersey Republican legislator shared a meme asking if the historic Women’s March would be “over in time” for its participants to “cook dinner,” a woman and first-time political candidate who expressed anger over the sexist remarks has ousted Carman from office.

Democrat Ashley Bennett will now take Carman’s seat on the Atlantic County Board of Freeholders, a nine-member governing body that oversees politics in the South Jersey county. She was one of thousands of women around the country to dive into politics after Trump’s victory last year

“I was angry about [the Facebook meme], because elected officials shouldn’t be on social media mocking and belittling people who are expressing their concerns about their community and the nation,” Bennett  said in October.

Last month, Carman drew fresh outrage for sporting a Confederate flag patch in the shape of New Jersey on his denim vest. He denied the racist implications of the patch, calling it the “South Jersey Rebal Patch”

_______________________

Here’s Carman’s Facebook post reacting to Tuesday’s loss:

I just want to thank everyone who supported me and worked diligently for this election. My thanks goes out to everyone, I am truly humbled by your support. Apparently the good Lord has other plans for me, so I will continue to seek and serve in another direction. May God bless you, John

%d bloggers like this: