The Real Housewives of Atlanta S10 Reunion Pt 2 A-G-O-N-Y! Waiting for Kim


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Lawd have mercy, Lawd have mercy, LAWD HAVE MUR-CEE!!   This effing rapegate may FINALLY BE OVAH!  Between Kandi and Porsha.  I think after one apologies this one my have stuck.

Speaking of stuck, Bravo has stuck us with this lame reunion.  They are holding some of us captive, until next week when we finally see Nene and Wig go at it…  And fuck! (yeah I said it) it better be Epic!

This reunion much like this season has been much to do about Nothing.  Speaking of nothing why is Marlo still here?   Marlo doesn’t appreciate, Kenya calling her a HO. (not a garden tool)   When Andy, (who I might add is keeping this reunion afloat with his own shade) ask Marlo how does she make her money?   She tells Andy, she dated a billionaire. Who is not Ted Turner.   The billionaire, bought her home and her mothers home and her Aston Martin.     And she has a LLC ” Simply Marlo”.    Kenya!  “We see each other”

 

Andy asked Nene about her epic breakdown in Oakland. (Telling a heckler-she hoped she would get raped by a  Uber driver)   Nene seemed sincerely sorry.  Sheree was offended. Next.

Eva, came out  having contractions. (Dr Jackie is on call)  She and Cynthia had a few moments regarding Will.  Was he seeing someone the same time as he was seeing Cynthia?  Of course this is one more example of this stupid season.  Cynthia and Will weren’t anything to each other, so WHO CARES IF HE WAS DATING ANOTHER WOMEN!!!!!

Cynthia has moved on and is seeing someone else. Shady Andy suggested that Cynthia explore her clear attraction to women.

7 Minutes

Bravo played us!

It was all a tease. The sit down with Wig (Kim to her friends) was saved for the last few minutes of last night’s episode.

Nene’s back was erect. She came out looking good in a red dress and her red solo cup (Houston is there a problem?)

Andy, an equal opportunity shade master asked her “What the end game on the lip”  (This destroyed twitter)

They began with the Elephant Room . Where Kim told Cynthia to be quiet and look pretty.  Kim says she never suggested that Cynthia is lucky she’s beautiful because she’s not capable of much else.   The Receipts says your a lier.  The footage shows  Kim saying that Cynthia is lucky she’s beautiful because she’s not capable of much else.

Another dig from Andy:  He  compares Kim’s pivoting tendencies to Sarah Huckabee Sanders. Then Kim asks, “Who the hell is that?”

A moment with Dr CityFella:  I’ve always suspected Nene rage towards Kim is love. Outside of Sheree, Nene has known Kim more than 10 years.   It was Nene who suggested  Kim come on to the show. and Unlike Sheree, these two had a genuine friendship.  Nene said, she saw Kim at the mall and she believes Kim saw her and didn’t acknowledge her.  The Elephant room was another attempt to patch the hole in there friendship. 

Kim, insist she never say Nene at the mall. or took a photo of her car in the handicapped  Then we see the footage of her doing what she said she didn’t do.   Bleep, Bleep, Bleep,

Meanwhile

Southern Charm “New Orleans” Premiered after the Housewives has promise.   The Real Housewives of the Potomac, looks good this season.   Beverly Hills has one more episode before the Reunion and its about to go down at the Hampton’s in New York (read my review)   Bravo is going to have overhaul Atlanta, we deserve better.!

CityFella

 

How white women use strategic tears to silence women of color


‘Often, when I have attempted to speak to or confront a white woman about something she has said or done that has impacted me adversely, I am met with tearful denials and indignant accusations that I am hurting her’
 ‘Often, when I have attempted to speak to or confront a white woman about something she has said or done that has impacted me adversely, I am met with tearful denials and indignant accusations that I am hurting her’ Photograph: Caro/Alamy

The legitimate grievances of brown and black women are no match for the accusations of a white damsel in distress

 

By: Ruby Hamad: The Guardian Uk

That the voices of “women of color” are getting louder and more influential is a testament less to the accommodations made by the dominant white culture and more to their own grit in a society that implicitly – and sometimes explicitly – wants them to fail.

At the Sydney writers’ festival on Sunday, editor of Djed Press, Hella Ibrahim, relayed the final minutes of a panel on diversity featuring writers from the western Sydney Sweatshop collective. One of the panelists, Winnie Dunn, in answering a question about the harm caused by good intentions, had used the words “white people” and “shit” in the same sentence. This raised the ire of a self-identified white woman in the audience who interrogated the panelists as to “what they think they have to gain” by insulting people who “want to read their stories.”

In other words, the woman saw a personal attack where there wasn’t one and decided to remind the panellists that as a member of the white majority she ultimately has their fate in her hands.

“I walked out of that panel frustrated,” Ibrahim wrote. “Because yet again, a good convo was derailed, white people centred themselves, and a POC panel was told to police it’s [sic] tone to make their message palatable to a white audience.”

Trauma assails brown and black women from all directions. There is the initial pain of being subjected to gendered racism and discrimination, there is the additional distress of not being believed or supported, and of having your words and your bravery seemingly credited to others.

And then there is a type of trauma inflicted on women of color that many of us find among the hardest to disclose, the one that few seem willing to admit really happens because it is so thoroughly normalized most people refuse to see it.

It is what that writers’ festival audience member was demonstrating, and what blogger and author Luvvie Ajayi called the “weary weaponising of white women’s tears”.

To put it less poetically, it is the trauma caused by the tactic many white women employ to muster sympathy and avoid accountability, by turning the tables and accusing their accuser.

Almost every BW (black woman) I know has a story about a time in a professional setting in which she attempted to have a talk with a WW about her behavior & it has ended with the WW (white woman) crying,” one black woman wrote on Twitter. “The WW wasn’t crying because she felt sorry and was deeply remorseful. The WW was crying because she felt “bullied” and/or that the BW was being too harsh with her.”

When I shared these tweets on my Facebook page asking brown and black women if this had ever happened to them, I was taken by how deeply this resonated, prompting one Arab woman to share this story:

A WW kept touching my hair. Pulling my curls to watch them bounce back. Rubbing the top. Smelling it. So when I told her to stop and complained to HR and my supervisor, she complained that I wasn’t a people person or team member and I had to leave that position for being ‘threatening’ to a coworker.”

For the doubters, here is a mild version of this sleight-of-hand in action:

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Jully Black and Jeanne Beker

Notice it is the white woman – Jeanne Beker – who first interrupts the black woman – Jully Black – who takes the interruption in her stride. Black continues to speak passionately and confidently, which Beker interprets as a personal attack on her even though Black is clearly talking in general terms (just as Winnie Dunn was). Beker then attempts to shut Black down by essentially branding her a bully.

Had Jully Black not stopped and repeated Jeanne Beker’s words back at her – “Why are you attacking me?” – they would have passed largely unnoticed, just another woman of colour smeared as an aggressor for daring to continue speaking when a white woman wanted her to stop.

It doesn’t usually end this way. “White women tears are especially potent … because they are attached to the symbol of femininity,” Ajayi explains. “These tears are pouring out from the eyes of the one chosen to be the prototype of womanhood; the woman who has been painted as helpless against the whims of the world. The one who gets the most protection in a world that does a shitty job overall of cherishing women.”

As I look back over my adult life a pattern emerges. Often, when I have attempted to speak to or confront a white woman about something she has said or done that has impacted me adversely, I am met with tearful denials and indignant accusations that I am hurting her. My confidence diminished and second-guessing myself, I either flare up in frustration at not being heard (which only seems to prove her point) or I back down immediately, apologizing and consoling the very person causing me harm.

It is not weakness or guilt that compels me to capitulate. Rather, as I recently wrote, it is the manufactured reputation Arabs have for being threatening and aggressive that follows us everywhere. In a society that routinely places imaginary “wide-eyed, angry and Middle Eastern” people at the scenes of violent crimes they did not commit, having a legitimate grievance is no match for the strategic tears of a white damsel in distress whose innocence is taken for granted.

“We talk about toxic masculinity,” Ajayi warns, “but there is (also) toxicity in wielding femininity in this way.” Brown and black women know we are, as musician Miss Blanks writes, “imperfect victims”. That doesn’t mean we are always in the right but it does mean we know that against a white woman’s accusations, our perspectives will almost always go unheard either way.

Whether angry or calm, shouting or pleading, we are still perceived as the aggressors.

Likewise, white women are equally aware their race privileges them as surely as ours condemns us. In this context, their tearful displays are a form of emotional and psychological violence that reinforce the very system of white dominance that many white women claim to oppose.

Ruby Hamad is a journalist and PhD candidate at the University of New South Wales, Australia.

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The Real Housewives of New York S10 ep15 “Bethenny Breakdown”


'It's the worst feeling, your throat gets itchy, you feel like you're going to throw up,' she explained in a confessional. 'It's like a poison inside you' 

 

Its vacation time….  Colombia!  We see the ladies preparing for the trip.  As Bethenny is preparing to leave, we learn this is the last time she’ll be in her condo, she will be returning to a new home.

Ramona dragging her foot as she walks into a pharmacy.   It seems she just returned from vacation (what a life right?) in Morocco and fell down a flight of stairs.

Tinsley arranged this trip, and must have watched other episodes and in her own way she brought Ramona down a few pegs.    Through the years we have watched Ramona throw tantrums on vacationa demanding the best room in the house.   Tinsley, bought everyone a Tiffany Box with a nice ribbon.    As the ladies toured the house, they opened a box and in the box was a necklace with a housewife’s initial AND whoever initial was in the room got that room.   This was a lot of work…BUT it worked!  Ramona was fine, even with a room with two double beds.

All about Ramona

I’m not a wealthy person so perhaps I don’t understand the needs of wealth on vacation.  Ramona is VERY demanding on vacations.  She utterly helpless and rude to the staff.  She insists “The Help” unpack her thing and put them away, because she is helpless or too stressed after traveling.  I so appreciated the gentleman who helped Ramona to her room with her bags.   I’m not sure he understands English, as Ramona unpacked and asked the man to hang up her clothes, he left the room .  Shocking!   I friggin loved it.   It was like yeah Bitch, exit stage right!    She later was proud of herself for putting her things away.

Ramona wasn’t done!  She went into the kitchen, being all phony, talking about how she “loves to learn new recipes”  Instead of learning, she was insisting that there be no butter in anything they make for her.     Gurl go sit yo ass down somewhere!

Despite Ramona’s foot injury.  You know the one where she was dragging her feet and could barely walk.    Well on this trip, she didn’t pack flats.   While the girls were talking she took the elevator to get a pair of flats and got stuck.  No one heard her.

 

Scott and Tinsley Sitting in a Tree

Scott is wooing his boo.   The two have been together for a year now.   Not only did he fly out a glam squad for all her makeup needs.    He sent a giant wreath filled with 365 roses for their one year anniversary with their initials in the center.  It was grotesque, there was nothing romantic about it.   Bethenny was spot on, when she said it looked like a funeral wreath.

Brian, with the Red Scarf

This is Bravo’s Vacation, all Housewives on deck .   On this trip , if  there was someone who should have stayed at home, it was Bethenny.  She is going through it. At lunch, her first bite of food had fish in it. Bethenny is allergic to fish and returned to her room where she spent time lying on the bathroom floor throwing up .    Skinnygirl is going through it.  I will expand on it futher down.

After seeing him at the Speed Dating event,  Bethenny tells Luann and Sonja that  Brian had been texting her non-stop.   Throwing shade at Ramona, she said he wasn’t interested in her.

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At dinner, with all the women present.  Carole starts talking about her date with Brian. (You guys, may have to remind me.  I didn’t think Carole was taking part in the Speed Dating thing)   Carole, throwing dirty shade said not only did they have a three hour date, he is not interested in Bethenny!

Of course this went south……….

This was just another log on the fire.

Carole was just being nasty.   What started out as hurt and a bit of Jealousy on Bethenny’s end has turned into and out of control fire storm with both women lashing out.   Bethenny:  “You’re acting like you won a prize and he’s just a consolation prize”

What they are both missing.  Red Scarf Brian is probably a troll and perhaps thirsty to be on the show.  I’m sure the other men, didn’t miss the cameras.  Red Scarf clearly spent a lot of time talking to Bethenny and to later trash her, come on Carole your better than that right?    All three women are very intelligent only Ramona had the sense to move on

Dorinda is a messenger, if she hears something she passes it on.   Is she a messy shit stirrer? yes…   As I said earlier, Bethenny is in a mood.   She tells Dorinda, that she thinks the house is junky.  She is thinking of going to a hotel.   So Dorinda tells Tinsley….BOOM!

Bethenny

This was a mandatory trip.  Bethenny should have stayed home.   Her place was sold and while she is in Colombia, her belonging are being packed up without her and moved to her new home.  The year long restraining order on her deranged ex-husband is lifting soon.  The custody battle with her ex is looming and she has lost her way with Carole, a person who she was really close to and wants back.

The next day, we can see her overwhelmed with the weight she carries.   Intelligent, Bethenny sometimes have difficulty expressing herself.  When Luann, (looking good in her blonde wig. Channeling Sofia Vergara )the person she is currently closes to,New do: Luann said she was 'vibing Sofía Vergara' in her blonde wig and red lipstick at dinner 

tries to find out what’s going on with her, at a time she really needs a friend. Bethenny  throws her out of the room and tells her she can’t have more people around and tells her,I’m no stranger to panic attacks. When Bethenny snaps, the other women don’t know what to do.  She wears a shield and its difficult to comfort someone wearing a shield.

Bethenny, is the person who rarely asks for help, she hates being vulnerable.  Its difficult for her to trust.  People she has trusted has turned on her.   Her mom is a terror.  She has sold stories about her daughter, with whom she has no relationship.  Her ex, who has said, he is going to destroy her.

 I believe her relationship with Carole may have been solved by saying I miss you, and I miss us.    But not today and quite possibly never.

CityFella

The World of Me!


You gotta love people who believe THEY are the most important people in the world.

They purposely cut you off on the roadways.   They appear in the express lane in the supermarket with 200 items.  They demand immediate attention, the line is for pedestrians.

When I travel, I’m usually the last one on the plane and the last one off.    Being last, usually mean I simply walk to my seat, most people are settled in, no waiting for people to stow there belonging.   I normally sit in the aisle seat near the end of plane.

One evening in Portland, I wasn’t the last passenger.  There was a lady, demanding the plane wait for her friend’s WHO were waiting for pizza.    The young woman at the counter said the flight to Sacramento was full and they were going to close the door.  NO! she shouted,  your not full, were not on, so you’ll have to wait!  They should be coming now!

Well, Hell, this is much better than the Housewives or any of the Reality shows. I wanted to see how this was going to end.    However, to see the end, would mean I would miss my flight.  So, I faked a slow limp.  DAMM!     On board, I strained my neck to see if the lady and her friends made it on the plane.        Ding, (the seat belt sign came on) as the plane was being pushed backward.   Guess they will enjoy their pizza at PDX!

What is it about those individuals, who has Chutzpah, to cut in line, push others and simply disregard all others and feel there actions are justified.

Turning the other cheek

Were human, sometime you can swallow and say to yourself, let it go, it isn’t worth it.  Then  there is that one time that your not feeling particularly Christian.  No fucking way!  Not Today!

Philadelphia:   I’m on my second leg of three legs to Sacramento.  A man enters the cabin, he’s not flight staff, he’s another passenger.  He opens the  overhead above my seat and begins to relocated the belongings of other passengers items to other bins.  I can’t believe no one isn’t saying anything.  In my head, I’m daring him to move my bag with my PC.   Sure enough, he takes my bag and I tell him to leave it where it is.   He said, he is gonna move it down.  You could feel the heat in my little section.   I told him, your going to fucking leave it where it is!  (This is unusual for me,  I’m not one for making scenes or swearing in public)  He angrily stared at me, as if!    In my head, I said to myself. you gonna end up seeing Jesus on this plane, ain’t nobody playin wit ju!      Somewhere during the flight, when the man went to the restroom, a man in the row behind me  tapped me and said, could you believe that guy, he moved MY stuff!    I’m thinking to myself, why didn’t YOU say anything.

 

Who are these people?  Did they Have indulgent parents?

One wonders, how were these people formed?  Did this form of narcissism begin as a child.  That one child who is throwing a tantrum because they don’t want to wait their turn and that indulgent parent who makes excuses and exceptions for their child’s poor behavior.    Is this the beginning, of  a skewed perception of the world that insists that their needs or demands comes before others, at any cost!

 

“We teach people how to treat us” 

One of my favorite movies is “Avalon”, directed by Barry Levinson.  It follows a Russian Jewish family as they slowly build a new life in  America.  Through the years the family immersed themselves in American culture.  Including Thanksgiving, one branch of the family is notoriously late. (not minutes,hour or so) not once ,but every time.  This was before (microwaves) and the very large family waits for the uncle and his familyto arrive before cutting the Turkey.  The children are hungry.   But they wait.  The apologies aren’t genuine.   After many years.  They start without them.   This action divides the once close family.  its very sad.    But….

We teach people how to treat us.   It is my theme.     I cant stand by and dine or travel with anyone who doesn’t  have any consideration for others.   I refuse to watch someone I know, berate another person , because he or she doesn’t want to don’t want to wait.  Those individuals don’t care if their friends are humiliated.  They simply want what they want!    When that happens, I quietly leave. No Drama, no scene’s or explanations.  I leave. All human beings deserve respect and if I should stay, I’m condoning bad behavior, it isn’t worth it…

 

CityFella

In Pictures: 17,000 turn out for the poshest picnic in Paris


In Pictures: 17,000 turn out for the poshest picnic in Paris
Photo: AFP
From: The Local France
This year’s “Dinner in white” – a chic, pop-up style picnic drew a record 17,000 diners all dressed in white. Here are some pictures of the impressive spectacle.

The annual “diner en blanc” picnic took place in Paris on  at the Esplanade des Invalides and drew a record 17,000 participants, according to organisers.

The location of the giant chic picnic is only revealed at the last minute. In previous years it has taken place outside Notre Dame Cathedral or the Louvre Museum.

The picnic is not authorised by authorities but “tolerated”. Although the organisers made an exception and asked authorities and police if they could hold it on the Champs-Elysées. But their request was turned down and they chose the Invalides as plan b.

Last month’s  attendance was twice the size of previous gatherings and the 17,000 picnickers also included 6,000 from abroad, who had come to Paris specially for the occasion.

The “diner en blanc” phenomenon  was celebrating its 30th anniversary. The concept began in France but has since spread to other cities around the world including New York and Sydney.

There are certain rules those attending have to stick by, notably they must wear white. They are also not allowed to leave behind any trace of rubbish and strong alcohol and beer are banned.

They are informed at the last minute about the location and have to bring fold up tables and chairs. Remarkably it only takes a few minutes to set up.

 

Cell Phone at the Church: Not God’s Work


Pastor admitted taking upskirt photo of woman at Deltona church, report states

By: Jeff Weiner (For the Orlando Sentinel)

A now-former pastor at a  Deltona, Florida  church faces a voyeurism charge, accused of taking an upskirt photo of a woman in his office after a Sunday service, authorities said.

Brian “Rick” Kenyon Jr., 31, faces a felony charge of video voyeurism. He was booked into the Volusia County Branch Jail on Thursday, but was released that afternoon on $2,500 bail, officials said.

According to an arrest affidavit, the 41-year-old victim told Volusia County sheriff’s deputies the incident happened April 8 at the Deltona Church of Christ on Providence Boulevard.

The woman had watched Kenyon’s children for him during the service. Afterward, she went to his office to turn the kids over to him, but soon realized something was wrong, the affidavit said.

 

Kenyon seemed nervous and was avoiding eye contact, she said. Then, he asked her to put his youngest child in a car seat.

The woman, who was wearing a sundress, said she bent forward and knelt to secure the child in the seat, but then felt skin brush against her leg, causing her to turn around and yelled.

According to the affidavit, she saw Kenyon kneeling behind her, bent at the waist, with his hand near the bottom of her dress.

When he stood, she said she noticed he was holding his cell phone.

The woman told her husband what had happened, and later enlisted several members of the congregation to help confront Kenyon.

At a meeting, Kenyon denied taking a picture up the woman’s dress, the affidavit said, claiming he was trying to take a picture of his child but dropped the phone between the woman’s legs.

                                        “dark moment”

 

He did admit having a “pornography problem,” the affidavit said.

However, at a second meeting April 19, Kenyon confessed to taking an upskirt picture of the woman, the affidavit said. He described it as a “dark moment” that came over him, investigators said.

He said he had deleted the photo, the affidavit states.

Church staff confirmed to a sheriff’s detective that Kenyon had been “removed” from the church, and was never in charge of youth programs or given unsupervised contact with chidlren.

Anyone with information is asked to call the Sheriff’s Office at 386-943-8276.

Feel Free to Scream : Snake falls on Man as he sleeps


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A central New York man got a rude awakening when a large snake fell from his bedroom ceiling and landed on him while he slept.

The state Department of Environmental Conservation says Wednesday that one of its officers responded to a call on June 29 from a man who says a snake had fallen on him while he was sleeping in his apartment in the Oswego County village of Pulaski, 35 miles (56 kilometres) north of Syracuse.

DEC officials say the officer determined a 6-foot-long red-tailed boa constrictor had escaped its enclosure in an apartment. The agency says the snake fell from the ceiling of the downstairs apartment, where it landed on a man sleeping in bed.

The man wasn’t injured.

The snake has been returned to its owner.