The Fine Art of The Cock Block


It’s hard enough to seal the deal without interference from outside forces.  Men have invented a slang term in honor of these mood-killing outside forces: the cock block.

Cock blocking is opposite of the work that a good solid wing man does A wing man will make you look good, and create an environment conducive for sealing the deal. A cock block ruins things — and usually it ruins things abruptly.

Here are some that I’ve experienced:

My Mom
Moms are the original cock blockers. It’s a shame because moms have such potential as wing women. A cute mom can make her boy look sweet, and bond with a girlfriend.

But, sometimes she’s just too “mom.” It all starts in middle school when you’re first hitting on girls, and you don’t realize mom’s in the car waiting to pick you up. While executing these fledgling attempts at flirting, my mother would get fed up and scream: “Get your butt in this car right now!”

I felt rather emasculated by my mother — and it still happens today. I’ll be talking with my mom and she’ll say: ” Remember how you used to collect stamps” in front of a girl.

Please, mom, let me try to be a cool man.

My Cat
I live in a studio apartment now, so there’s no stopping my cat from his cock blocking ways. It never fails: As soon as I get intimate with a girl, he jumps on the bed and literally climbs across her and slides in between us — that pretty much ends things.

The Drunk, Ignorant Friend
The night I found out what a cock block was, I approached two friends who were talking to a girl, blurted out something vulgar, and then walked away. Later on my friend approached me and asked why I had to “cock block” him. It was at that moment that I realized I was the prototypical drunk, ignorant cock-blocking friend.

The Overprotective Girlfriend
Most women have a girlfriend who won’t  let them go home with guys. The overprotective girlfriend swoops in and removes her friend from the guy, usually with a quip: ” She has a boyfriend” or “You have no chance.” The overprotective girlfriend insists on being part of the conversation the whole time so you can’t work your magic on her friend.

Myself
Another classic cock blocker is yours truly. I always manage to say or do something stupid and ruin a good thing.

Ultimately, successful couples overcome cock blocks. I guess if you’re really into a guy it doesn’t matter how obnoxious his drunk, ignorant friend is, or how fat his interfering cat is.

Have you ever seen cock-blocking in action? Can women do it to other women? What’s the worst cock-blocking you’ve seen, and have you ever resisted a bunch of cock blocks to date a guy?

Rich Santos/Marie Claire

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Published by CityFella

Big city fella, Born and Raised in the San Francisco Bay Area. Lived in New York (a part time New Yorker) for three years . I have lived in the Sacramento area since 1993. When I first moved here, I hated it. Initially found the city too conservative for my tastes. A great place to raise children however too few options for adults . The city has grown up, there is much to do here. The city suffers from low self esteem in my opinion, locals have few positive words to say about their hometown. visitors and transplants are amazed at what they find here. From, the grand old homes in Alkali Flats, and the huge trees in midtown, there are many surprises in Sacramento. Theater is alive is this area . And finally ,there is a nightlife... In.downtown midtown, for the young and not so young. My Criticism is with local government. There is a shortage of visionaries in city hall. Sacramento has long relied on the state, feds and real estate for revenue. Like many cities in America,Downtown Sacramento was the hub of activity in the area. as the population moved to the suburbs and retail followed. The city has spent millions to revive downtown. Today less than ten thousand people live downtown. No one at city hall could connect the dots. Population-Retail. Business says Sacramento is challenging and many corporations have chosen to set up operations outside the cities limits. There is vision in the burbs. Sacramento has bones, there are many good pieces here, leaders seem unable or unwilling to put those pieces together into. Rant aside, I love it here. From the trees to the rivers. But its the people here that move me. Sacramento is one of the most integrated cities in America. I find I'm welcome everywhere. The spices work in this city of nearly 500,000 and for the most part these spices blend well together. From Ukrainians to Hispanics and a sizable gay community, all the spices seem to work well here. I frequently travel and occasionally I will venture into a city with huge racial borders, where its unsafe to visit after certain hours. I haven't found it here. I cant imagine living in a community where there is one hue or one spice. I love the big trees, Temple Coffee House, the Alhambra Safeway, Zelda's Pizza, Bicyclist in Midtown, The Mother Lode Saloon, Crest Theater, and the Rivers. I could go on and I might. Sacramento is home.

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