When your Zipper is down……( a short story)

When you initially discover your zipper is down, you go into a quiet but major panic, you immediately  spin around and with one life saving pull its up.

Then you go into a major state of paranoia  wondering  how many people have seen your fruit of the looms.   A thin piece of fabric separates you from some morals charge.  Boxers are especially tricky, there are no flaps nothing and depending on the whim of the fabric your goodies could be out for the world to see. ( unless there is a strong chilly wind a blowin)

I was once onstage with the zipper down…saved by the modesty flap.  No one warned me before I spoke, a lot of men will do the zip motion(we look out for each other that way)…..but not that night. Some of the 1200 hundred people weren’t moved by my speech, they were fixated on the crouch of the man behind the plexiglass(or door number three-major WOW factor!)

After the discovery I didn’t want to mingle, I wanted a distructive earthquake.    I do remember one older lady who kept zipping her mouth.   I thought she thought, my speech was too long……  I now realize in her own way she was telling me to zip up.  In the future  I hope she remembers our zippers are vertical, VERTICAL!




  1. haha! I was alerted to my skirt zipper being down (at the back of my skirt, so how should I have known?) this morning by a lady waiting at the traffic lights with me. I wish she had mentioned it once we were both on the other side of the road already. Ten seconds waiting for the green man have never seemed so long! Mortified!


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