MANBOOBS ( A short story about male jiggling)

We are not firm forever….

Now of course if your a twenty something,firm is forever.   A twenty-something  believes if he eats right and work outs hourly he will look the same at ripe old age of forty.  Many of these tight bodies are still being supported by their family and can afford to workout 26 times a week.

If your in your mid to late thirties, particularly if your married, your just too pooped to go the the gym everyday.   But work out you do, just not as often.

Manboobs are like gray hair…..   One day its there….

“A Jiggle”

For those men who have always been thin and jiggle free.  This new movement comes as quite a shock!

 ” Only fat people jiggle” ahahah

God’s little joke

So you join a gym!   Workin those pecs…or you buy weights to work out at home

(after a month those home weights begin gathering dust)

 You continue to workout and those pecs are tighter and all is well with the world. Until you lean forward.  WTF!

Being a big guy, I have had manboobs all of my life.  When I work out, they are firm and perky (Hey lady, nice broach) When I don’t , they are down and depressed (Hey, there’s a piece of tissue on your shoe)

And when they are down your learn all the tricks…. Like leaning back a little as you walk (it’s an art form)

“Men don’t talk about manboobs”

I used to be ashamed of them, wore tight undershirts to keep those boys in place.

But one day, I saw Arnold, ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER  (his name looks better in caps)in a picture. The former Govenator without a shirt  had MANBOOBS and I suddenly could hear music in the clouds, ARNOLD HAS BOOBS!    Tears filled my eyes and I almost fell to the ground. ( in my head,I heard Oprah in her Sophia voice from the movie “The Color Purple” saying ” Arnold, when I seened ju-I knew there was a gawd!)

Sean (James Bond) Connery is about a B cup.  David (Baywatch) Hasselhoff’s chest now jiggles when he runs.(can you imaging he and Pamela in slow motion running on the beach)

Images of  celebrities are splashed on the pages of the tabloids in their natural state.  No People or Vanity Fair staged poses in the National Enquirer,or in Perez Hilton.

John Travolta sports an A or B cup. (check your Enquirer)

So men, its not ovah….its a new beginning…….

One day soon

You’ll be channel surfing late night and you’ll see and hear a testimonial by a faded star and others talking about the virtues, the comfort and support they get from their bro’s by Playtex.

Embrace your boobs……..


Published by CityFella

Big city fella, Born and Raised in the San Francisco Bay Area. Lived in New York (a part time New Yorker) for three years . I have lived in the Sacramento area since 1993. When I first moved here, I hated it. Initially found the city too conservative for my tastes. A great place to raise children however too few options for adults . The city has grown up, there is much to do here. The city suffers from low self esteem in my opinion, locals have few positive words to say about their hometown. visitors and transplants are amazed at what they find here. From, the grand old homes in Alkali Flats, and the huge trees in midtown, there are many surprises in Sacramento. Theater is alive is this area . And finally ,there is a nightlife... In.downtown midtown, for the young and not so young. My Criticism is with local government. There is a shortage of visionaries in city hall. Sacramento has long relied on the state, feds and real estate for revenue. Like many cities in America,Downtown Sacramento was the hub of activity in the area. as the population moved to the suburbs and retail followed. The city has spent millions to revive downtown. Today less than ten thousand people live downtown. No one at city hall could connect the dots. Population-Retail. Business says Sacramento is challenging and many corporations have chosen to set up operations outside the cities limits. There is vision in the burbs. Sacramento has bones, there are many good pieces here, leaders seem unable or unwilling to put those pieces together into. Rant aside, I love it here. From the trees to the rivers. But its the people here that move me. Sacramento is one of the most integrated cities in America. I find I'm welcome everywhere. The spices work in this city of nearly 500,000 and for the most part these spices blend well together. From Ukrainians to Hispanics and a sizable gay community, all the spices seem to work well here. I frequently travel and occasionally I will venture into a city with huge racial borders, where its unsafe to visit after certain hours. I haven't found it here. I cant imagine living in a community where there is one hue or one spice. I love the big trees, Temple Coffee House, the Alhambra Safeway, Zelda's Pizza, Bicyclist in Midtown, The Mother Lode Saloon, Crest Theater, and the Rivers. I could go on and I might. Sacramento is home.

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