MANBOOBS ( A short story about male jiggling)


We are not firm forever….

Now of course if your a twenty something,firm is forever.   A twenty-something  believes if he eats right and work outs hourly he will look the same at ripe old age of forty.  Many of these tight bodies are still being supported by their family and can afford to workout 26 times a week.

If your in your mid to late thirties, particularly if your married, your just too pooped to go the the gym everyday.   But work out you do, just not as often.

Manboobs are like gray hair…..   One day its there….

“A Jiggle”

For those men who have always been thin and jiggle free.  This new movement comes as quite a shock!

 ” Only fat people jiggle” ahahah

God’s little joke

So you join a gym!   Workin those pecs…or you buy weights to work out at home

(after a month those home weights begin gathering dust)

 You continue to workout and those pecs are tighter and all is well with the world. Until you lean forward.  WTF!

Being a big guy, I have had manboobs all of my life.  When I work out, they are firm and perky (Hey lady, nice broach) When I don’t , they are down and depressed (Hey, there’s a piece of tissue on your shoe)

And when they are down your learn all the tricks…. Like leaning back a little as you walk (it’s an art form)

“Men don’t talk about manboobs”

I used to be ashamed of them, wore tight undershirts to keep those boys in place.

But one day, I saw Arnold, ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER  (his name looks better in caps)in a picture. The former Govenator without a shirt  had MANBOOBS and I suddenly could hear music in the clouds, ARNOLD HAS BOOBS!    Tears filled my eyes and I almost fell to the ground. ( in my head,I heard Oprah in her Sophia voice from the movie “The Color Purple” saying ” Arnold, when I seened ju-I knew there was a gawd!)

Sean (James Bond) Connery is about a B cup.  David (Baywatch) Hasselhoff’s chest now jiggles when he runs.(can you imaging he and Pamela in slow motion running on the beach)

Images of  celebrities are splashed on the pages of the tabloids in their natural state.  No People or Vanity Fair staged poses in the National Enquirer,or in Perez Hilton.

John Travolta sports an A or B cup. (check your Enquirer)

So men, its not ovah….its a new beginning…….

One day soon

You’ll be channel surfing late night and you’ll see and hear a testimonial by a faded star and others talking about the virtues, the comfort and support they get from their bro’s by Playtex.

Embrace your boobs……..

Cityfella

Published by CityFella

Moved to the Big Tomata in the nineties from San Francisco. No Suburbs for me with its single colored houses and lawns and the excitement of pulling out my trash can once a week. I'm a CityFella , a part time New Yorker. I'm happiest in the Center City where people the streets and people are alive. I'm still waiting to buy a 34th floor condo somewhere downtown/Midtown with a nightclub. "Hurry I'm old" My politics are somewhere in the middle with a needle that constantly moves. I'm too liberal to be a Republican and too conservative to be a Democrat. Everything interests me . I've come to love Sacratomato, Its a nice town in cheap sensible shoes .

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