Being the last minute person, I’m known for. Five hours before the birthday party in the Bay Area , I head over to Nemo’s Bakery… Five chocolate cakes in the display case and my stomach sinks….this ins’t gonna be as easy as I thought, but I’ll ask anyway. Looking for a yellow cake with chocolate frosting ? We have chocolate chocolate, chocolate chocolate with raspberry, and chocolate fudge. Thank you…
On to BelAir, Chocolate with sprinkles, Chocolate with that stupid ass confetti on the sides( what is that about-its a supermarket thing) Chocolate Chocolate on to Safeway, they had German Chocolate. Freeport Bakery, they had one chocolate sq cake.
Then its on to the Freeway, next stop Smart Foods Stockton, they had various chocolate chocolate chocolate cakes. including one chocolate , chocolate cakes that shaped like a dome.
Its 3 pm, I have less than 90 minutes to find a cake, and I will not get one of those Costco Sheet Cakes.
With the help of Yelp and my android, I visit every open Bakery in town. Everyone said the same thing , you have to order it!
What happen to imagination….yellow with chocolate, chocolate cake with white frosting? What if I want a hint of chocolate? Irrational and pissed, I could have Duncan Hines him a cake….. Dammit!
In desperation, I stopped at the Costco in Turlock, where there wasn’t chocolate anything.
In Tracy, it was chocolate, chocolate chocolate, at one store when I said yellow cake, the woman looked at me as if speaking a foreign language, turns out I was….. she left and brought another girl, her interpreter, do you have yellow cake with chocolate icing? No.
Livermore…nothing. I have less than 45 minute.
Minutes to San Ramon, my stomach was in knots…. I’ll just stop by a Safeway, and pretend that I forgot he wanted yellow cake or tell the truth and buy the deluxe cakes.
Pulled off the freeway and tried Yelp again. This time, I just called all the open bakery’s. One bakery said she had yellow cakes but was closing in 15 minutes.
With a three minutes to spare, I stop in the red zone and run into the bakery. I could tell she wasn’t pleased. It was clear she had plans…… It was one of those fu fu she she bakeries and the cakes where for two or three people. There were three cakes, I pointed and she boxed I bought two more cakes… Reached for my wallet, grab a small hand full of twenties………..
That comes to 103 dollars.
Being part Egyptian (I live by de-Nile) I said huh?
ah hundred and three dollars
You take debit?
Do you need help, she asked ( In my mind I said, Shit for these tiny boxes? please) No I said, thank you.
I arrived a few minutes late for the party.
People were curious by the small cake boxes as if they were a science project.
The birthday boy arrives( at which point I realize, there is nothing written on the cakes) someone opened the cakes and placed them on aluminum foil…..
One of the small cakes required a chain saw…. The others seemed ok,
No one commented about the cakes
Towards the end of the party, I picked up a sliver of the cake.
It tastes like Duncan Hines…………