Epic Burger Fail

Hungry beyond  belief.   My meal isn’t weight watchers approved.  Cheeseburger, fries, a small slice of cream cheese pie.

A large patty, grilled onions,big thick  juicy tomato slices , a big thick slash of mayo and a thick piece of american cheese.    All is right with the world-at least on Sunrise Blvd.   A Coke would really top off this meal but I’ve ordered a slice of cream cheese pie, can’t go too far off  ww.   But a coke would be nice.

I’m hungry, gawd, I’m hungry.  Should have ordered extra fries……ooooh bacon would have been good too but, I can’t get crazy.

My orders up,  I ask for a cup for water, reach into the bag for a fry which where way too hot.

I unwrap my burger, using both hand I raise it to my mouth and the patty squirts out on to the table.

F*** a duck!

I looked at the patty with the melted cheese .   I thought about  picking up the patty, taking it to the bathroom and rinsing it off.  Thought about asking them for another patty,but didn’t want to risk embarrassment     I watched  the orphaned patty sitting there all alone near the edge of the table.    All man,( I said to myself) I’m gonna eat that…  I took my fork and stabbed the meat.  As I was pulling the meat towards me, it dropped off my fork  on to the chair.      At this point redemption was no longer an option, it had traveled too far, the table was one thing….but the seat…

A  veggie sandwich in a bun, fries, and cream cheese pie…

Actually it wasn’t that bad…  and pie the made up for the suicidal patty..

I cleaned my mess off the table,  dumped my trash and I was off .   As  I was driving home I thought to myself,   I really should try a veggie burger , not sure I ready for veggie fries or veggie crème cheese pies ,all in all this could be a game changer.  Then  suddenly I remembered  I cleaned and cleared everything but the burger patty, someone is going to have burger butt.


Published by CityFella

Moved to the Big Tomata in the nineties from San Francisco. No Suburbs for me with its single colored houses and lawns and the excitement of pulling out my trash can once a week. I'm a CityFella , a part time New Yorker. I'm happiest in the Center City where people the streets and people are alive. I'm still waiting to buy a 34th floor condo somewhere downtown/Midtown with a nightclub. "Hurry I'm old" My politics are somewhere in the middle with a needle that constantly moves. I'm too liberal to be a Republican and too conservative to be a Democrat. Everything interests me . I've come to love Sacratomato, Its a nice town in cheap sensible shoes .

2 thoughts on “Epic Burger Fail

  1. I was eating a meatball sandwich at an outdoor patio once and was accosted by a very persistent bee. As I was waving the bee away, my sandwich flew out of my hand and across the patio. Almost hit another table. Just about went postal on the bee, but was gently escorted out by my girlfriend. Never did have lunch that day.


Comments are closed.

%d bloggers like this: