Here’s my fashion advice – put some clothes on


A man orders food at McDonald’s in Liverpool. Source: The Daily Telegraph

BACK in 1837, Hans Christian Andersen penned a tale about a vain emperor who was tricked into believing he was wearing clothes when he was really roaming about starkers.

If only Andersen could have seen how his fable would be transformed into real life.

Recently, I observed a young man walk into McDonald’s wearing nothing but underpants.

Yep, underpants. Bonds-style lycra trunks to be exact – as if he were impersonating Pat Rafter, only without the chiselled physique, good looks and charm.

No shoes or thongs. No shirt. No hat. No beach towel for modesty. And clearly no manners.

Not only did Mr Underpants and his equally barefooted mate chat amongst themselves like they were on the couch playing FIFA 13, the McDonald’s staff didn’t bat an eyelid. Far from making a quick getaway to escape the humiliation of exposing yourself in a “family restaurant”, the duo ate at their leisure.

Before you go down the path of “this must have happened near a beach or somewhere in Europe“, think again. It was Liverpool in southwest Sydney, more than 40km from Bondi beach. And it was 9am. On a weekday.

Time and time again I’ve seen young women wearing singlets slashed so low at the sides that it puts them at serious risk of a fallout malfunction. Or wearing bikinis as tops at any given music festival, regardless of the lack of a beach, pool or Slip ‘n Slide.

And the dreadful tights-as-pants trend that just won’t die.

We all get it, you people think you’re hot, despite the all too common presence of man-handles and muffin-tops.

Consider this a public service announcement as I explain to you where underwear belongs: under your clothes. There’s a clue in the name. Do not wear underwear as outerwear outside the house.

As for shoes, always, everywhere, they must be worn. Think of all the crap you’re walking in barefoot.

Let’s give the flesh-flashing a rest. Unless you really are Pat Rafter. Then you can go everywhere in your undies.

Melissa Matheson

By:Journalist Melissa Matheson: “We all get it, you people think you’re hot.” Picture: Adam TaylorSource: The Daily Telegraph


Published by CityFella

Moved to the Big Tomata in the nineties from San Francisco. No Suburbs for me with its single colored houses and lawns and the excitement of pulling out my trash can once a week. I'm a CityFella , a part time New Yorker. I'm happiest in the Center City where people the streets and people are alive. I'm still waiting to buy a 34th floor condo somewhere downtown/Midtown with a nightclub. "Hurry I'm old" My politics are somewhere in the middle with a needle that constantly moves. I'm too liberal to be a Republican and too conservative to be a Democrat. Everything interests me . I've come to love Sacratomato, Its a nice town in cheap sensible shoes .

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