Waiting for Joan River’s Fashion Police to Throw me out of the Gym


Through the years I have belonged to several Gym memberships throughout Sacramento.  I’ve belonged to posh gyms with shampoo slash conditioners  and deodorant in  shower.  Belonged to the family clubs were members worked up sweat chatting  about working out  and to the bare bones gyms where towels had cords  attached and you showered in the bathroom sink.

I liked the posh gym, liked the vibe, listened  people making deals,  saw local celebrities au naturale  (thought he was taller?)  and despite the bank balances of the members, people were very nice..  But I had to choose, my gym membership or my car.

Joined a very popular gym in Natomas where the men walked artificially straight and wore Nike’s or Adidas outfits with sunglasses on.    My outfit, in fashionable grey, came from the big and tall department at K-Mart .

From there, I joined a bare bones gym.  It was clean, the machines were well maintained and my people were there.    It was come in what you slept in..… I loved it !    Every once in a while someone would wear a matching outfit. But it was a fun place where people came to truly work out. The distance and the absence of a shower made me look elsewhere.

I bit the bullet and joined a gym near my home downtown.   I waited something nearby, to eliminate excuses.  I can walk to the gym in 10 minutes.

It a large and busy gym with a large cross section of Sacramentians.   10 years ago, you didn’t see many overweight people in the daytime.    The looks and stares made them uncomfortable so they populated the gyms after 8 pm.       I remember startinling a man at the posh gym, he was a man holding on to the eighties, leg warmers, with matching head band .   He screamed like Jamie Lee Curtis in Halloween II-the scream startled me sending me into the towel bin.  From that moment on, when ever he saw me , he turned his nose up and looked the other way.

At my current gym, I’ve noticed gym fashion.   Usually men in black wearing bright trim, neon green, orange. and other colors.  With ,matching shoes and shoe lases.     Yesterday, I thought I was at an event.  there was a steady stream of fashion, which caused me to ask someone, was there a runway show tonight?    One man was on the elliptical, wearing sunglasses straining to see the game.  Then women came in wearing gym fashion in various shades.   The man in the elliptical was moving at 1.8 miles an hour, smile at the ladies on either side of him.

There was so much fashion I started getting paranoid.   Did I miss an e-mail?   Wednesday ,Fashion Night?  For the first time I felt like the green suit at a black tie event.

My workout clothes is breathable cotton, from time to time I may wear  a blend.    Rarely do things match including my shoes.   I refuse to wear any gym wear that requires dry cleaning.   It might have been a singles mingles night. who knows.  Will I become a slave to gym fashion?  Hmm  So just in case, I plan to parooze the K-Mart circular on Sunday. Wonder if  could pull off maroon?

CityFella 

For many years

Published by CityFella

Moved to the Big Tomata in the nineties from San Francisco. No Suburbs for me with its single colored houses and lawns and the excitement of pulling out my trash can once a week. I'm a CityFella , a part time New Yorker. I'm happiest in the Center City where people the streets and people are alive. I'm still waiting to buy a 34th floor condo somewhere downtown/Midtown with a nightclub. "Hurry I'm old" My politics are somewhere in the middle with a needle that constantly moves. I'm too liberal to be a Republican and too conservative to be a Democrat. Everything interests me . I've come to love Sacratomato, Its a nice town in cheap sensible shoes .

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