I had an epiphany, watching RHOA last night. Forget quiet and timid Mynique and her equally dull husband Chuck Smith and bring on Malorie’. She would be the perfect new cast member. Shade, confrontation and big azz box on drama comes standard on the Mal. She can stir the mess. She has history and as Kenya learned, she goes from zero to back up bitch I’ll break off a heel in your…..in nano seconds.
The episode began with Phaedra and Kandi talking about EVERYBODY LOVES CHUCK Smith and his denial of having a relationship with them. You know he calls himself “The Big Homie”.
And here’s the wind up
Quick draw Kandi says: he’s actually a ‘Little Homie”
And the pitch….
Phaedra quickly follows: as she refers to Smith’s member as a ‘bite sized brownie’ and a ‘cocktail sausage’.
Home Run Phaedra!
The ladies both agree that Chuck’s outburst was totally out there , immature and that he’s merely using both of their names to bring up their name to make himself sound like the master player.
Okay Cynthia is feeling bad about some of the things she said to her husband Peter in the argument. However, she is sharing this information with Mallorie who can’t stay out of her martial business. You know she storing this story into the piss Peter off file in her brain.
Meanwhile, Peter is withholding sex….. (Wait, let me re-read what I’ve just typed) “peter is withholding sex:” Isn’t this the man who said he wasn’t getting enough sex? So now he is with-hol-ding sex, BECAUSE, they(he and Cynthia) can’t have a conversation.
I’m a man…..checking….yes! I’M A MAN and I can’t remember a time I wouldn’t have sex be-cause I can’t have a conversation. a Conversation. A conversation. (shm)
Help is on the way. (A CONVERSATION) Sorry. Cynthia says that she’s about to make some changes to make that happen.
Kenya Moore dad’s visit’s from Texas. He is a Neanderthal. Believe’s there is a place for women. Wonder if that’s why he came alone.? He very critical of Kenya,from her feet to the hardwood floors of her rental.
16 when she was born, he lacks (at least here)any real compassion. It is clear, the absence of relationship with her mother has left a Bentley sized hole in her heart. He dismissed her pain and tells her to let it go.
She invites Nene and Phaedra over. Kenya asks Nene if she would appear and the play Kandi’s producing. Nene says SHE is much too busy. Even though New Normal has been cancelled and Glee is up in the air. Perhaps after’s Chuck pronouncement of Nene being one of the Greatest Actresses she is waiting for Spielberg’s call.
Kenya is driving a white Bentley convertible. A gift from her African Boyfriend. Kenya, Kenya,Kenya! You were exposed last season. and no one is buying this season. You need to produce a man Ugah Bogah from some African country, WHO doesn’t sound like Al Reynolds. Meantime stop playing and give Hertz back their car.
Porsha…oooo Porsha doesn’t how much to ask for in the divorce settlement. “ How much is less than 2 years of marriage worth exactly? Do you calculate the hours you cooked and cleaned and multiply it by an hourly wage? She ask’s
Anyone remember the movie “Airplane”? There was a hysterical woman screaming and someone slapped her to calm her down and the next thing you know there was a line of people waiting to slap the women…. Don’t you just wanna slap some of Porsha’s immaturity away? By the way stupido (I mean Porsha) is leasing to buy an 8000 square foot house in Nene neighborhood and hasn’t told Nene.
The Drama of the Evening In Two Parts
Cynthia’s sister Malorie designs bracelets and hosts a party for Mallory at the Bailey Agency. Inviting the Housewives and other friends. One by one they are introduced to Malorie and learns she is staying with Cynthia and Peter for two months. Most know of Peters and Malorie’s volatile history
Most of the ladies are stunned with Malorie’s entitled attitude. What she was saying in effect was “She’s my sister and I can stay for whenever without notice Kenya took it further and stirred the pot with that big spoon of her’s and it was off to the races with Mallory looking like she was forty seconds away from a throw down.
Escorted away by big sis, she was reminded the purpose of the party was to sell and she had to buck up and take it as these are clients . Perhaps she can take her cash and move into a Red Roof Inn.
Remember Porsha has moved in Nene’s neighborhood, around the corner. The Drama is, Porsha never told Nene. Throughout the season ,Nene has told Porsha she was a bad friend. The friend who calls when she has low times in her life and never calls during good times. Porsha wants to keep her location on the down low ( away from Nene). But you know Kenya can’t let that happen. Kandi lets Porsha know that NeNe’s coming and its not gonna be nice and it wasn’t when Porsha approaches her, NeNe isn’t interested in hearing about surprises. Porsha is more concerned about finding out who blabbed. The sea parts and all face point Kenya. Nene tell Porsha likes it tis…. and of course Porsha starts bawling. Nene apologizes but she is getting tired of the self pity. Kenya clearly isn’t feeling it and takes her azz and twirls outside in her orange-red gown in traffic. OOOOOkay?
Last week Bravo hyped a confrontation between Kandi and Todd to make the viewer believe their relationship was in trouble. The reality was Kandi wanted to work with Todd on her musical. However Atlanta isn’t New York or Los Angeles and Todd’s work often takes him out of town. Kandi breaks down, she doesn’t want to stand in his way but wants him to stay in Atlanta.
C ya next week.