The Ultimate Insult


By CityFella

You know the feeling, the rush, the panic, when you pat your pants pockets or look inside your purse and your keys are missing.     The sudden turn around and panic that follows.   In your head your trying to be rational,but those keys are your world!  The gateway to everything!

That was me last night in the Lowe’s store in West Sacramento.   I back tracked, I went up and down all the aisles with no success.   Took apart displays.

After about 45 minutes, nothing made sense it  was full out  panic! I just walked all over the store looking at  everything.  I’m looking inside Refrigerators, and Dryers. I don’t care, I have no pride!

Employees sensing my glassy eyed terror, assisted in the hunt.

Maybe I dropped them near the car or coming inside the store, heading out of the store, in the dark , I see my car, the door is wide opened, its the only car on the lot with the interior lights on  and the  keys are in the ignition.

My first mental reaction was how stupid am I?   Am I losing it ?

Then I thought to myself why didn’t anyone steal it?  My car not good enough?  Hell, it has at tablet  on the front passenger seat. (no, not an I-Pad, a Kindle)   Its not a hoopty, all the body parts match.  Yes, its 10 years old and no General Motors doesn’t make it anymore.  But there are no major dents.  What the hell!!

Instead of being relieved I was insulted! Insulted! INSULTED!

As I was crossing the river, I smiled to myself (reality kicked in).  Silly man, you have your keys and your car.  So I make it home, park my car and  as I put my keys in the gate, I realized I left my packages in the store.

Published by CityFella

Moved to the Big Tomata in the nineties from San Francisco. No Suburbs for me with its single colored houses and lawns and the excitement of pulling out my trash can once a week. I'm a CityFella , a part time New Yorker. I'm happiest in the Center City where people the streets and people are alive. I'm still waiting to buy a 34th floor condo somewhere downtown/Midtown with a nightclub. "Hurry I'm old" My politics are somewhere in the middle with a needle that constantly moves. I'm too liberal to be a Republican and too conservative to be a Democrat. Everything interests me . I've come to love Sacratomato, Its a nice town in cheap sensible shoes .

3 thoughts on “The Ultimate Insult

  1. So glad all turned at well.
    If it makes you feel better just consider this possibility. There may have been some perhaps even many people who walked by who thought about stealing your car and the items you left in it, however, upon looking at the utter easiness of pulling of such a feat they all hesitated. Why did they hesitate? It looked so easy that it must be a trap. There has to be a cop just sitting in the dark waiting for someone to make a move on this car. The doors open, lights on, key in ignition and a tablet on the seat. Who doesn’t think this has to be a set up. At the very least their brain must think someone is out there with a video camera…..

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  2. It was a 10-year old Pontiac Sunfire. They took pity on you once they noticed you did not have power windows. Enough said!!!

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