RHOA: s7ep3 ” All Tea All Shade”


For our international readers we are going to take a moment to define “American Slang” What is  All Tea  and All Shade” ?

Pencils up

From the Urban Dictionary

All:

1.Everything summed up into one word;

2.The equivalent of reaching spiritual enlightenment

Tea:

gossip or personal information belonging to someone else; the scoop; news
Spill the tea about what happened at the club.
Used within the urban gay community, “tea” signifies a piece of sensitive and possibly highly sought-after information or tidbit.

Michael: Did you hear the tea about our Judy Dante?

Cornelius: Nah gurra, what’s the tea?

Michael: The tea is that she dropped out of school to do bareback porn.

Cornelius: Bitch duh! That ain’t no tea. That’s just some water with a lemon in it.

Shade:

acting in a casual or disrespectful manner towards someone/dissing a friend
throwing shade, acting kinda shady

Can be used as a noun or verb.Noun form = illegitimate behavior Verb form = typically accompanied with the word “throw” or “throwing,” as in to “throw someone shade” meaning to act shady, fake, or funny around or towards them.

Person 1: They went to the club and ain’t even invite us!
Person 2: Shade!ORMy man been throwing me shade because I haven’t been around as much.

Pencils down

Last nights episode was  yawn fest with a few sparks from here and there.   Apollo’s  admission he has been lying about Kenya is making the rounds.  Nene is back from Las Vegas.     Porsha brought her up to date with all the noise.

It seems everyone but Nene feels Kenya is due an apology.   “For what?!” Nene say’s ”You(Kenya) and him jumped in the swimming pool together in Anguilla. You said ‘Apollo is fine.’ Now [Phaedra] needs to be like, ‘I’m sorry?’ Oh no, bitch!”   I’m on team Nene here.

Speaking of Kenya, Kenya, Kenya, I want to believe her, but so much of her story line is fiction, her local and African boyfriends, moving on.

Randy Kessler: The Divorce Whisperer?

Randy is either the only divorce lawyer in all of Atlanta or  He is the unofficial real attorney for the husbands or near husbands of the Real Housewives of Atlanta.  I think he has counseled Gregg Leakes, Todd Tucker and now Apollo Nida?

Apollo is on the sofa at home.  His wife isn’t speaking to him, he is waiting for the courts to advise him of his new home for the next eight years . It ain’t good being Apollo.   He is concerned about Phaedra and while he LOVES his wife, he despises everything about her,”  (That’s some kinda Love!)

Apollo tells Randy, that he needs some advice because he’s worried about what his situation will be like when he gets out of jail if Phaedra files for divorce.  Not sure if its because there are no papers signed or if he is afraid of his wife, but Randy seemed  a little hesitant to commit to Apollo.   The reality is Phaedra could file for divorce while he is in jail and its game over for Apollo.

Its gonna difficult for any one to feel sorry for Apollo, after he has been stealing money from people.  Game ovah dude.

The Tuckers and two lovely Ladies

Kandi, looked lovely in bed, Todd is freshly showered.  On the bed are assorted adult  toys, product placement?  Kandi owns an adult toy line.Bedroom Kandi”  (we didn’t see everything .     She wants to have  child with her new husband.   Todd who’s work takes him to Los Angeles and New York  is lukewarm at best,  “I don’t want you coming at me later like ‘You ain’t never here’” Kandi is sadden by this, however she knew the field he was in and his work i not in Atlanta.

Todd’s 18 year old daughter Kayla has officially moved in . The New Yorker is in Atlanta with her new 11 year old step-sister Riley.   Kandi wants some Brady Bunch bonding, an instant (add water and stir) loving family.   The girls aren’t feeling it, what 18 year old wants to hang with an 11 year old ?    The parents talk about chores and allowances and curfews.  Kayla said she had a 1am curfew in New York.  Riley who has a bit of  Monster Joyce’s shade said well this is Atlanta.  One other Riley tidbit (Granny Joyce would be so proud)   When Kayla mentions that she cant wait until Riley turns 18  so Riley would  what its like to be 18. Riley quips ‘well I’d be in college” .ooouch

Introducing Claudia Jordan

She was on The Celebrity Apprentice, Deal or No Deal, and The Price is Right. “That show made me huge in the old folks home, and in the prisons,” she brags. The former Miss USA contestant and “loveable asshole,“If a guy is good looking, crazy and an asshole, I’ve dated him,” she says. It takes a crazy person to know another.Crazy?

She and Kenya have known each other for 10 years.  The two are out shopping for furniture.   In the quiet furniture store, she loudly tells Kenya ( giving a PG demonstration on one of the beds in the store) how is lost a tooth during sex.   TMI?  tmi        More More, I want More Claudia.

The Main Event

(Cynthia Bailey vs Porsha Williams)

“The best indicator that you  over someone is when you no longer talk about them”

Cynthia isn’t over Nene.   It doesn’t matter where she goes or who she is with, Nene’s shadow looms large.      I think her husband Peter misses Nene, they were tight until the blow out last year.   But he is supportive and listens to her trash Nene

Nene say’s she is done with Cynthia.   In a conversation with Porsha, they agree on  Cynthia’s habit of riding the  the fence.  Speak up!” Nene says. “I’m disappointed because I thought we were friends…I missed Cynthia in the beginning, but now…I’m out.    Toodles!”

Cynthia dismisses anyone connected to her former Bff.   She excluded Porsha from her party at Bar One,cause he heard Porsha has said something negative.  Shady Cindy  say’s she  graciously agreed to let Porsha move into the “penthouse suite up NeNe’s ass” that she occupied.

Porsha beef with Cynthia stems from the reunion show.  One day she seems to support her and on the next she supports Kenya.   “The fact that you felt both ways…I was flabbergasted,” Porsha says.

“She started out as little Nene and now she’s baby Kenya”

Unlike Nene, Porsha wanted to give her another chance . “I will reach out and try to figure out what’s going on, because that’s what grown women do. And at the end of the day, I’m a grown-ass woman.” She can do whatever she wants!

Porsha called,and  they agreed to meet for lunch.   Porsha was an hour late. (I wouldn’t have waited-but I’m not under contract to Bravo) Cynthia was beyond pissed (as she should have been).

Cynthia started throwing shade before the woman stepped into the restaurant. Calling her jump suit cheap ( I thought she looked good) and suggested that Porsha was dating some rich married man to keep her lifestyle intact.     S-H-A-D-Y-2-D-A-M-A-X!

During the wait, Cynthia had time to  sharpened her teeth and before Porsha could sit down, she bit into Porsha.

Porsha tells Cynthia she’s being nasty before she can even sit down, and Cynthia tells Porsha she should apologize for wasting her time. Porsha could not get a word in.    When Porsha confronted Cynthia about her comments on a blog post,Cynthia didn’t deny it at all. “If you don’t want me to come for you, do not come for me,”

Word to the wise, this is Cynthia 2.0 and she has found her voice!
CityFella
Last Week-Season 7 Episode 2
“No Moore Apollogies (Moore Tired-Shady Apollo)
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