Izzy, the evil cat bent on world domination, responds to the naysayers who flooded her owners’ email boxes in response to their Craigslist ad.
Izzy the “evil satanic cat” is not happy. Now, she says, she has to start all over again.
“To the people who hated on (my foster parents) blindly and with the rage of 10,000 claws, yes . . . harness your hate and embrace the dark side. You are my kind of people. However, smarten up,” read a new Craigslist Post written by Izzy titled “Evil Satanic Cat Responds.”
The cat has been searching for a PIE — Partner in Evil — for a while. She thought that an advertisement posted to Craigslist last week by her owners would help in this endeavour. Instead, it seems to have unhinged her plans for world domination.
The Richmond Hill couple placed a tongue-in-cheek advertisement on Craigslist last Friday looking for a home for their “angry, miserable and vindictive” 5-year-old black cat.
The first advertisement made note of Izzy’s evil demeanour, explaining that she has knocked over glasses; opened the fridge and eaten an entire block of cheese; opened a locked cabinet and helped herself to dog food; peed on the floor; and assembled a group of “male minions” by meowing from the second-floor window.
“The reason we’ve kept her this long is because we feel if we let her out into the world, she will take it over,” the advertisement read.
Since then, owner David Seigel, 37, and his partner Amanda, 27, have gotten a lot of negative feedback from animal lovers concerned about Izzy’s treatment.
“Some people thought (the ad) was hilarious and fantastic,” said Seigel. “And then we got other people commenting saying, ‘You people are the worst!’ or ‘You’re idiots!’ ”
A number of people offered to whisk Izzy away, just to take her off Seigel’s plate. This, he said, was concerning.
“We want her to be in a place where she doesn’t have to compete with other animals,” he said. “We want her to be in a good place. You don’t foster with the intention of getting rid of the animal right away.”
The post was eventually removed Friday afternoon from the popular classifieds site. On Saturday night, Seigel wrote up a response from Izzy’s point of view, addressing the many concerns brought forth in the comments, emails and messages they received in the past few days.
“As a black cat going to a shelter, I was told I had little chance to be adopted and would likely be euthanized within a month (would have liked to see them try — you should see what happened to the last person who came at me with a weapon),” the cat explained online.
In response to the comments about her fertility, Izzy made it clear that she did not wish to be spayed, even though it wasn’t her decision.
“I was supposed to be, but after an appointment they made came up, I went into a heat. Thank Satan. My whole plan involves me producing more little me’s to help carry out my global takeover.”
Seigel says the point of Izzy’s response was to drive home the fact that the original post was satirical, and that it wasn’t meant to be taken seriously. Near the end of the post, the cat explains that she “had one foot out the door and would have ended up where I needed to be — with one of you,” if it hadn’t been for all the naysayers who flagged the advertisement as inappropriate.
Izzy was rescued from an abusive environment about two years ago, and the Richmond Hill couple had only intended to keep the cat until they could find her a new family. Eventually, Seigel hopes to find Izzy the right home, with someone who genuinely wants her and can care for her.
“She is super affectionate, she seems very intelligent, loves attention, and would make a great companion as long as you kept a neat place and your fridge locked,” Seigel explained.
“We love her, but we want her to be happy. Hopefully it’s the right type of person who bonds with her — who won’t be able to do her bidding and take over the world.”
In the meantime, Izzy wants the world to know she is OK and being well taken care of.
“Don’t worry about me though — as long as I’m fed, sheltered and healthy, I will continue to plot away.”
Izzy signed off with a signature evil salutation: “The opposite of Namaste.”