Warning the Word Whore is going to be used a lot in this blog (shades recommend)
One thing is very clear with Bravo’s Housewives, when the “Wives” get together it’s gonna be ugly.
Last night we saw two things no one should evah, evah, see. Kenya Moore’s Booty Crack (come on Bravo-not enough footage?) and Cynthia starting some mess. (We will get back to her weak performance later.)
Bon Voyage Apollo
The episode opens with a final good bye from Apollo. I’m not sure RHOA has eight more years left. BUT IF IT DID……. So we get a very short, weak goodbye from Mr Nida. “Well everyone, I have finally arrived at the penitentiary. I’m about to go asunder. Thank you for the support and prayers. Hopefully Bravo put some money on his books…..
Meanwhile his wife Phaedra is not playin
Phaedra has moved back to a hotel with her family and assistant. Until she is sure those steel bars have closed on Apollo. ( I still believe if it weren’t for the cameras a frantic Apollo might have hurt her) Not only is Phaedra in a Penthouse, but she has a security team consisting of two burly men.
At home, its starting to sink in. Phaedra, says these times lets her know who her friends are.
Phaedra’s her home girl Kandi admitted in her confessional: “I haven’t really talked to Phaedra that much,”“I’m having drama with my marriage…and when things ain’t going right with my money, I’m not really thinking about what anyone else is going through.”
Phaedra tells Kandi about the days that led up to Apollo’s exit.
“He told me he’d burn down the house,” Phaedra recalls. “He had punched holes in the walls…I let him see the kids. For 15 minutes, he talked to Ayden. For two hours, he screamed bloody murder and went crazy on me.
She tells Kandi that she feels relieved, for the first time, she can “take care of the kids and do me.” Phaedra reveals, to Kandi’s surprise, that Nene has been particularly supportive throughout the whole ordeal, and has called her every day.
(Kandi, like a lot of us is a bit skeptical of the friendship between Nene and Phaedra.)
Kandi wants it more than once a week
Kandi has found cracks in her marriage with Todd and suggests counseling. The primary for Kandi seems to be sex or the frequency. Todd seems to be removed or numb. The problem could be that some of the private discussions aren’t private. They’re sexual life shouldn’t be aired on her blog cast or discussed with or in front of her staff. Her lead, Don Juan doesn’t like her husband and he goes out of his way to make fun of Todd and as with Monster Joyce, she doesn’t defend him.
Whore! Now Some Whine and Cheese
Claudia, Cynthia and Kenya goes wine tasting. Kenya asks if they’ve seen all the stuff about Apollo going to jail and being on the run. Cynthia corrected her and said says he wasn’t. “Matter of fact, I got a little tea on that situation.”Cynthia tells Claudia and Kenya all about what Apollo told Peter about Phaedra’s alleged text messages with an African man named Chocolate. Kenya, (In a performance that’s reminiscent of the Great Mariah Carey’s in “Glitter”) immediately gets emotional and starts screaming in the restaurant about how Phaedra has been calling “every name in the book… (well not every name mostly ,Whore!) While Cynthia has never really seen the text, ” Kenya readily takes Peters word from a man who lied on her for the last two years.
Cynthia and her Housewife Husband Peter
Knowing Apollo’s credibility why are you having this discussion. Cynthia tells Peter about Kenya being upset about the Chocolate text messages. Peter: “Why is she emotional about what Phaedra is doing?” and just when you think he has some Uncle Ben’s sense he says “I don’t know why he would make something like that up.” Peter, don’t you have a bar to run?
The Main Event
Whore! I will take you down!
Okay, Bravo, were all on to you. The mandatory meal. The meal where people who cant stand each other, are forced to break bread with the bitch across the table. So here they are, most people haven’t seen each other since Puerto Read-co.
Demetria, Kandi, Nene, Porsha, Kenya, Cynthia and Claudia.
Kandi, representing Switzerland (no one is pissed at her) was the opener. She asks the ladies what they’ve been up to. Nene, has been traveling back and forth to New York studying for her role on Broadway. Phaedra (who maybe is a bit raw) says she’s “been livin”
Cynthia Outside her Lane
Come on ya’ll, you know Bravo put her up to this.
Cynthia opens with a bundle of nerves, she stutters when she speaks. “Actually, Peter talked to Apollo. He had a lot to say about your… situation. How he felt going in and the whole leaving the kids and all that stuff. And there was a lot more said but… I mean I could just put it on the table, but if we’re not really going to put it on the table, it is what it is.”
Phaedra looks like she is typing on her phone( but what was probably going on in her head was- oh NO you didn’t you silly bitch)
More from Cynthia, “There’s been a lot of talk about, y’know, calling folks whores and all that stuff, which I think as women it’s just unfortunate.” “It’s just really crazy because,” , “Peter told me,” “that he found out you were dating some guy.” Pheadra““Is that what he told you? Well, it’s a lie,” “Really? Just like he showed the text messages with Kenya and then that supposedly didn’t happen either?” Then Kenya jumps in and say’s Phaedra has been “going around having an affair as a married woman,” In an dramatic moment Phaedra pops out of her seat like she’s about to hit Kenya. Its a total fail, or fake. We know if Phaedra wanted to smack Kenya, it would have happened.
“You don’t want to know the truth! You go around calling everyone a whore, and you’re the biggest whore here,” Kenya says to Phaedra as she’s carried out.
Now everybody’s up, the lines are drawn. Phaedra,Nene, Porsha, Kandi and Demetria leaves the restaurant, leaving the other three who eventually comes out for round two.
Nene, dare I say this, was the island of common sense.
She said the dinner was not the place to have this discussion. (Although she questions Cynthia’s messy motive). Claudia dredges up Nene’s calling her a whore in Puerto Read-co and Nene reminds her that SHE apologized about what she called her.
“These hens can cluck all they want,” Phaedra says in her confessional. “I’m not afraid to take them to the slaughterhouse and chop their heads off if I need to.”
Whore, Whore, Whore,Whore,Whore,Whore (I’m done)
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Last Episode: His Name is Chocolate