Vish, 68, had a great time going dancing with Hannah, but one mistake changed everything
Vish explained the possibilities of such an arrangement where him and Diana could see each other without him getting a divorce, and used the example of Princess Diana and Camilla. However, a Camilla she was not.
Vish is a 68-year-old engineer who lives in North York Canada. He says “I am modest, accommodative, balanced and slow. I like to take things easy.” Vish likes reading, writing and travelling. Vish says that when it comes to women, he is interested in “mental and intellectual compatibility, understanding, affection and love. Pretty much the boilerplate expectations.” However, after being single for two years, Vish says “I’ve given up on dating. I think it’s an exercise in futility.”
Between being South Asian by descent, and a couple of years shy of 70, I thought that my chance of finding a woman to date was no better than a Canadian hockey team winning the Stanley Cup. Several years after separating from my wife, my initial euphoria of independence and freedom had subsided, and my interest in having a female companion again had intensified. Encouraged by friends to try online dating, I posted my profile. I thought that, at the worst, I would remain single. Might as well try.
To my surprise, there were hundreds of potential matches listed online, some of whom had multiple pictures and appeared quite happy and content in their lives as single women. As beginner’s luck would have it, I “hit the oil” on one of my earliest probes.
I liked Hannah’s sophistication, confidence and lively nature. She also seemed kind. She didn’t post any pictures, but I liked that she lived nearby and had many good personal qualities. We exchanged emails, and then talked by phone. I invited her to have dinner, and she agreed to lunch at an Indian restaurant I suggested. I saw a lot of potential in this prospect.
We met and talked about our daily routines, our exes, our children, and much about our personal histories. We were quite at ease with each other. I liked the way she carried herself, as well as her infectious laugh. After lunch, we decided to go to an Indian music and dance festival; I don’t remember which one. Perhaps Diwali or Holi. I told her it would be a good introduction to Indian dance, music, and food. She seemed to enjoy it thoroughly. Because of the loud music and noise we were talking in each other’s ears, exchanging funny remarks and sharing laughs. I took photos of her dancing. It was wonderful. I still look at them occasionally, if I’m having a bad day. It turns my mood from bad to good. The date was wonderful.
After that, Hannah invited me to a second date. This is when I made a mistake, perhaps the cardinal mistake, of not administering the truth in small doses. I told her that I don’t intend to divorce my wife right away, as I wasn’t sure that doing so was worth it. I explained that I was worried about a divorce’s impact on our children and beloved grandchildren, and how I didn’t want to risk any of that. I was content being separated. Why can’t we, I asked, be good friends, living our own lives, dedicated and fulfilling all of each other’s needs and desires? I explained the possibilities of such an arrangement, and used the example of Princess Diana and Camilla. However, a Camilla she was not. Or perhaps she stopped listening to me after I said that I don’t intend to get a divorce, and that was it.
After a few more encounters with some women who were quite deceptive, I decided to give up the wild goose chase, and stopped dating.
Vish rates his date (out of 10): 9