11 DAY 3300 mile super road trip(Day 11)Crazy Stupid Wild


On  route to Las Vegas, I had a little fantasy where I hit the big one.  I have the same dream at Thunder Valley, where no one wins more that $500.


I drove south on Las Vegas Blvd, I wanted to go to a casino but not a mega Casino.  If I didn’t come across one I was just going to head towards Sacratomatoville.

For ten days , I have been wearing the same pair of shoes and to my left was an outlet mall.

Who knows maybe Ill get lucky and find a store that sells size 15EEE.  Hey, it happened in Birmingham Alabama at a Wal Mart.

The good size mall was crowded and I wasn’t feeling it .

What I was feeling was a cold drink. As I’m deciding between lemonade and an icy drink . A Strange lady grabbed my arm . Apparently she needed my arm or someones arm to organized her giant purse. A couple seconds passed before she realized I wasn’t her Latin husband. She gave out a short scream and grabbed her purse. Her husband and the people around us started laughing.

Back to my car with a cold lemonade.

I continued to head south on Las Vegas Blvd.  The South Bay Casino looked liked a place for me to donate my hard earned coins to the State of  Nevada.  It looked friendly inside there weren’t huge crowds, perfect.   This is a Casino for locals and anti mega casino people like me.   It has a hotel, with a Century Theater, Bowling Alley and spa.

The clientele had grey hair. People seem to know each other and the staff.  My fortune was going to be made from a extremely noisy  penny slot. (Lunch Oprah?) People were very friendly and conversations flowed. My kinda place.

I nearly broke even and when I attempted to stand my feet were asleep.  A glance at my cell and it was 7pm.    Three hours at one machine.

Gasoline was ridiculous in Vegas, $3.25 a gallon. I few day ago, I paid less than $1.70.  My fuel light was on and I knew once I left Vegas it would be cheaper.   WRONG!.   $3.55 a gallon. I put ten dollars in the tank and I knew there were lower options.

(Background: I’m cheap!  Cheap, Cheap, CHEAP!  Even when it doesn’t make sense!-I’m that guy who drives a couple of miles to save a penny per gallon)

Now, I’m driving and there are no gas stations in sight.  Most of the traffic was north bound toward Vegas.  The fuel light returned, and I realized once again, I have made a horrible mistake.   I am praying in my head and making another deal with with god. Don’t let me run out of gas, this time I WILL fill up.   My car says I have 18 miles of fuel left.  But what if it was wrong.  I may have really fucked up this time.

In the distance there is a lone station.  This isn’t good.  Lone stations mean $$$$$$$$$ but if I make it , it will be a miracle.

I make it, with 6 miles to spare.  The station is crowded and they want $4.17 a gallon.  I must have crossed over into California.  The fill up cost more than my T-Mobile bill.   Just get me to Hwy 57.

Bakersfield is where I’m going to lay my head. Tomorrow Sacratomatoville.

Hotwire said I could get a highly rated room off Hwy 99 for $42 bucks.  Sold.

Last room on the Road. Bakersfield. Check in was quick. This night I wasn’t interested in food.  As was parking my car. I noticed a woman in tight white jeans and high black heels standing in the doorway of one of the rooms.

As my car came to a stop. She walked towards me. I think she was concerned about my loneliness. (A problem she could solve-for a minimal fee?   Before we could discuss terms  I picked up my phone and perpetrated a vigorous conversation complete with wild hand gestures. She retreated

 As luck would have, it my deluxe room was above hers and her spokesperson, an older and very tanned man. (Her Sponsor?)The lock to my room didn’t work (Thank you gawd)

 I return to the office and was relocated to another building and received an upgrade.  As I walked up the stairs I am startled by an older man who has a light on his forehead.  There are many conversations in the parking lot.  I sensed that there where people who lived there long term.

 The room was  very large with a kitchenette . The furnishing are circa Brady Bunch, but the room was extremely clean.  No odd smells   I thought Id take a quick shower but in the background I hear police on a  loudspeakers and telling people to stay put. My big CityFella training told me to quickly barricade the door and wedge myself between the beds. night night.