These are bound to make you cringe…
By: Jillian Kramer/Brides.com
If you’re in a relationship, you’ve received unsolicited advice. Some of it’s been good, and some of it’s been bad. But hands-down, this bad advice given to real brides might just be the worst.
We suggest you don’t take it.
“Do whatever you need to so that you can stay married.”
“I’ve heard that, ‘Marriage isn’t about being happy, it’s about being stable. Do whatever you need to so that you can stay married.’ But we are so fortunate to actually live in an era where people have the opportunity to choose a partner. I believe the only way to actually bring the divorce rate down is to focus on picking a highly compatible partner at the onset. So many people prioritize other things before their own happiness and they end up living a lackluster life with very few bursts of joy.” —Ashley
“The worst marriage advice I ever got was to always compromise. My husband and I decided the opposite, because when you compromise, two people are unhappy. Instead, our motto is, ‘never compromise.’ The person who wants it most gets their way. This way, at least one person is happy.” —Alina
“Train [your husband] just like you would a puppy.”
“The wife of my then-fiancé’s colleague told me, ‘It’s important that you train him just like you would a puppy. He should learn to obey you and respect your commands, or suffer the consequences. When puppies mess up they get their noses rubbed in it and thrown outside — they do not get your praise or attention.’ I thought she was joking, and laughed. But then she said, ‘I am not joking. My husband does what I want, or he sleeps on the couch and doesn’t get sex until I’m happy again.’ This advice was horrendous because relationships should be respectful and have equal participation as much as possible. Men are not dogs — despite our tendency to call them that! — and to me, sex is not a weapon.” —Paula
“Stay together for the sake of your kids.”
“The worst marriage advice I’ve received is, ‘stay together for the sake of your kids.’ I’ve heard it from family, I’ve read it in magazine and newspaper articles, and I’ve been to churches that convey that message as well. Sadly, that’s not a sound way to help a marriage or protect the children you love. Children subjected to a toxic, dysfunctional, abusive or in other ways wounded marriage lose the joy of childhood. They become instant adults who try to ‘fix, heal or remedy’ the broken relationship around them. It’s a no-win reality for children, and totally selfish for parents to subject them to this in childhood.” —Rosalind
“Just agree with everything he says.”
“I was told that you will fight all the time the first year of marriage, so you should just agree with everything he says. A friend gave this advice to me based on the reality of the first year of her marriage. But my mother always instilled in me the importance of my voice and my opinion. Just going with the flow is not my M.O. Agreeing with everything my husband says is very subservient and just not who I am as a person.” —Ariel