Prescription for Understanding

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Dr. Erika Sato      Photo Google

Words used during the first few minutes of initial meeting can often determine you future. 


I am a fan of Bravo’s newest, reality show “Married To Medicine Houston” it is one of the most diverse shows on television.  Principle female cast members include an African american , Persian,Indian, a biracial Asian woman and a Caucasian women of Spanish or Mexican decent. It’s refreshing to see the world through the eyes of others.

In last week’s episode (ep7 Monica in Waiting) the issue of race or racism played a part on in the show.

A sixtyish Caucasian women, well known in Houston’s social circles  has made many insensitive comments about people of color.  At times, she seemed unaware of the impact her comments had on others. .  At other times she is very aware, using race as a weapon,    She accused one of the cast members of being prejudice against Mexicans. She and the woman in question are currently at odds.   The accusation is false and the women were visibly uncomfortable.  She moved on to another cast member she’s at odd’s, again making the other women uncomfortable.

One woman, spoke up.

Dr Erika Soto, had a conversation with both ladies in question and  offered clarity and was gentle in tone and did not choose sides.  The African American couple were uncomfortable with an artist who specializes in Slavery Silhouettes.  She went on to say  “If you are really sensitive you can take it negatively.   At no time was she accusing the older women of being racist. Despite her insensitive comments none of the women considered her to be racist However, the woman, reacted negatively and assumed she was being called a racist and abruptly exited.

Sometimes when you know information and you don’t share it. A bigger problem happens”                     Dr. Erika Sato 

 A lot of people are uncomfortable talking about race because it makes them vulnerable. Concerned they might misspeak , misunderstood or provoke .


Many people believe this mans is racist.  He calls African American “Colored” often uses words like “Papoose” and “Wetback”  Say’s Papoose and occasionally  Wetback. He doesn’t think these words are offensive.

I’ve known him for nearly forty years

Click Link to For His Story


 When the older lady exited, it trigger a memory from Elly Pourasef (who is Persian) and Dr Ericka( who is Asian),When someone of different race sits next to you. They often make a comment or an reference.  Sitting next to an Asian women, someone might say that they volunteered at an Asian Hospital or has an Asian friend Or co-opt an accent ,dialect or an action associated with that race.  At one point the older lady said one of her blood line is in Egypt which makes her African American. 

Racism or race based misunderstandings  isn’t exclusive to one race.

 There are members of my  multicultural family who do not fully realize the impact of their  often cringe worthy words and actions on another race and there are a few who frankly don’t care.  They have lived a long life, are not open to change at this stage in their lives.

America is a GREAT country in need of a GREAT Big Frank Conversation about race

There are many conversations about race that needs to happen in America. Our society wont change overnight, but we can lay the groundwork.

I have made racial missteps due to my ignorance. My friends knowing my heart, corrected me in a  gentle loving way. When you know better, you do better.   There will always be some people who are hyper sensitive. Often laying  in wait for the other side to say the KEY word.  They’re  are not ready to receive , these people are waiting to be validated ,in doing so they miss the message.   They are part of the groundwork.

I suspect the  lady in question may not like what she sees.  Mirrors have a way of doing that and this is when the process begins.


Married To Medicine Houston

is on Bravo

Fridays at 9pm Pacific


Published by CityFella

Moved to the Big Tomata in the nineties from San Francisco. No Suburbs for me with its single colored houses and lawns and the excitement of pulling out my trash can once a week. I'm a CityFella , a part time New Yorker. I'm happiest in the Center City where people the streets and people are alive. I'm still waiting to buy a 34th floor condo somewhere downtown/Midtown with a nightclub. "Hurry I'm old" My politics are somewhere in the middle with a needle that constantly moves. I'm too liberal to be a Republican and too conservative to be a Democrat. Everything interests me . I've come to love Sacratomato, Its a nice town in cheap sensible shoes .

5 thoughts on “Prescription for Understanding

  1. Pingback: Nicole
  2. CityFella, did you know Married 2 Houston was actually filmed a few years ago? I mostly agree with you about Erika. I strongly agree without the direction of the show. Have your blog heard anything from Bravo?


    1. Judith, I just learned that this week. Sources says Bravo often allows shows to develop a following. I hope that’s true with Houston. As for Bravo, THEY need to contact us. Thank you very much Judith


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