The Real Housewives of Atlanta Sp9 Ep13 : If these woods could talk


Q: What do you get when you mix  Sheree Whitfield with Marlo Hampton?

A: A lot of Shit!

Picking up from where we left off, the wonderful housewives are in a bus heading for the camping grounds.   The heat between Kenya and Porsha  has calmed, at least for now.  However, Kenya  still doesn’t believe Porsha’s anger management classes are working.

The ladies arrive to check in  and the desk clerk reminds them to watch out for critters in the woods.   Remember, Pheadra made arrangements for the ladies but Kandi, Porsha and Sheree, all brought uninvited guests..   Poor Sheree, at checkin, Marlo announces has gas issues.  Sheree brought everything but a GAS mask.

Earn your Peach

Alone in their cabin, Sheree the shit stirrer (maybe its appropriate Marlo is her roomate) coyly mentions  someone in the group is: “dipping in the lady pond”.  She doesn’t mention a name. but Marlo asks if its Kandi?

Sheree says she really hates the fakery. The ladies have real issues with each other but act  all friendly and nice when they hang out.

 Porsha and Phaedra have been throwing around Kandi hooking up with Shamea are just another example of stabbing a buddy in the back while kissing them on the cheek.

Shereé’s diabolical plan is to bring up the rumors during their upcoming campfire session of “Ask Marlo,”

Its Marlo Time! 

While they may have compy cabins, tonight its about the full outdoor camping experience, its Tent City Baby.

While the ladies all have their cans and bottles of bug sprays.  Leave it to Marlo, to bedazzle her can with sparkles.

While the professional can assemble his tent in five minutes, the women take much longer.   Some took two hours.

After all the tents competed, its time for roasting marshmallows and housewives. Porsha’s sister Lauren starts the “Ask Marlo ” segment of the evening.   Asking Marlo what was the deal between Marlo and Kenya.  Kenya’s look is “not again”  Marlo seems happy to share . Explaining how Kenya  left her out of a birthday and housewarming party.   While Kenya said , she “apologized multiple times” for what happened Marlo doesn’t remember and the two goes back and forth and then Marlo goes deep by saying  You know  she’s a bad person when her own mother won’t even talk to her,” which gets a immediate reaction from all the ladies .   Phaedra sweeps in and changes the conversation. .

The Morning After 

Tent free, the ladies head back to the cabins..At lunch, the topic becomes divorce. First up Pheadra. What’s the status and why its taking so long?   Kandi say’s she heard it only takes 60 days for a divorce to go through when one party is in jail (you can all most hear Mama Joyce coming through her mouth) but Porsha steps in to defend Phaedra, stating that Apollo never wanted the divorce to be finalized, and that’s why it’s taking so long.

Cynthia ,talks about her divorce from Peter . She believes they’re close to signing.  She wants closure with Peter, but he simply wants to sign the paper and be over with it.   The ladies take turns consoling her.  Peace.

At the Lake

One thing is very clear, Sheree is a city girl. She’s one for wigs, weaves  makeup and nails.  She is not feeling  the bugs, lakes or boats. She is having a fit with nature. The rest of the ladies are enjoying the canoes and paddle boats. Sheree stays on the shore, trying to avoid the flying critters.

Jump

Easy peezy, just climb up some stairs, a hundred feet and jump.  Kenya’s excited, Phaedra Sheree, and Cynthia looks up and says “nope” out the gate.  Kenya goes for it and tries her damnedest  to make it look easy.  Kandi went and looked as if she Jumps daily. Porsha, take a leap of faith, cries up and cries down. Everyone is happy.

A Candlelight Dinner (cue scary music)

The table was beautiful, the ladies are dressed (glamping) . They reminisce about the day’s events and then…………..

Kenya apologizes (yet again) for hurting Marlo’s feelings.  The MARLO apologizes for going low about her mother. Kenya is moved.  Then (cue scary music) Marlo says she’ll move forward “with caution.” Then Marlo decides to take it there by  asking Kandi if she is a lesbian.

Are we all enjoying the salad ?

Every bodies eyes popped out with Kandi being the most confused. . Marlo clarifies that she heard the rumor from specific people in the group, which sends everyone into a fit trying to defend themselves.

Porsha and  Pheadra who started all this mess are quiet. Pheadra’s plan was to keep her mouth on the glass of wine she was drinking.    Porsha,  took the Owl route, by continually asking Who?

Sheree is pissed, fit to be tied and finally calls out Porsha, and everyone crack ups having to watch Porsha pretend to be surprised.  Shereé tells Kandi about when Porsha said, “She’s still in the closet.” Kandi shuts it all down, saying she’s “done things” with women in the past, but now she is strictly dickly for her husband. She adds that Porsha has her own experiences in the same area and won’t own up to it.

The Cool Down

The group divides into smaller groups.  In the rooms, they break it DOWN. Kandi vents her frustrations to Hazel, Kenya, and Cynthia, calling Porsha an “aggressive lesbian” when she gets drunk.   In another room , Porsha, Lauren, and Phaedra get upset over Kandi insinuating that Porsha has ever done something sexual with another woman.

Hope your taking note for the reunion.   For now I will call it LesbianGate!   Ellen, Rosie O Donnell and Wyand Sikes will break it down for us.

Coming soon Kim Zolciak, and possibly a woman named Leakes

Hot Damm!

CityFella

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