The Real Housewives of Atlanta Sp9 Ep13 : If these woods could talk


Q: What do you get when you mix  Sheree Whitfield with Marlo Hampton?

A: A lot of Shit!

Picking up from where we left off, the wonderful housewives are in a bus heading for the camping grounds.   The heat between Kenya and Porsha  has calmed, at least for now.  However, Kenya  still doesn’t believe Porsha’s anger management classes are working.

The ladies arrive to check in  and the desk clerk reminds them to watch out for critters in the woods.   Remember, Pheadra made arrangements for the ladies but Kandi, Porsha and Sheree, all brought uninvited guests..   Poor Sheree, at checkin, Marlo announces has gas issues.  Sheree brought everything but a GAS mask.

Earn your Peach

Alone in their cabin, Sheree the shit stirrer (maybe its appropriate Marlo is her roomate) coyly mentions  someone in the group is: “dipping in the lady pond”.  She doesn’t mention a name. but Marlo asks if its Kandi?

Sheree says she really hates the fakery. The ladies have real issues with each other but act  all friendly and nice when they hang out.

 Porsha and Phaedra have been throwing around Kandi hooking up with Shamea are just another example of stabbing a buddy in the back while kissing them on the cheek.

Shereé’s diabolical plan is to bring up the rumors during their upcoming campfire session of “Ask Marlo,”

Its Marlo Time! 

While they may have compy cabins, tonight its about the full outdoor camping experience, its Tent City Baby.

While the ladies all have their cans and bottles of bug sprays.  Leave it to Marlo, to bedazzle her can with sparkles.

While the professional can assemble his tent in five minutes, the women take much longer.   Some took two hours.

After all the tents competed, its time for roasting marshmallows and housewives. Porsha’s sister Lauren starts the “Ask Marlo ” segment of the evening.   Asking Marlo what was the deal between Marlo and Kenya.  Kenya’s look is “not again”  Marlo seems happy to share . Explaining how Kenya  left her out of a birthday and housewarming party.   While Kenya said , she “apologized multiple times” for what happened Marlo doesn’t remember and the two goes back and forth and then Marlo goes deep by saying  You know  she’s a bad person when her own mother won’t even talk to her,” which gets a immediate reaction from all the ladies .   Phaedra sweeps in and changes the conversation. .

The Morning After 

Tent free, the ladies head back to the cabins..At lunch, the topic becomes divorce. First up Pheadra. What’s the status and why its taking so long?   Kandi say’s she heard it only takes 60 days for a divorce to go through when one party is in jail (you can all most hear Mama Joyce coming through her mouth) but Porsha steps in to defend Phaedra, stating that Apollo never wanted the divorce to be finalized, and that’s why it’s taking so long.

Cynthia ,talks about her divorce from Peter . She believes they’re close to signing.  She wants closure with Peter, but he simply wants to sign the paper and be over with it.   The ladies take turns consoling her.  Peace.

At the Lake

One thing is very clear, Sheree is a city girl. She’s one for wigs, weaves  makeup and nails.  She is not feeling  the bugs, lakes or boats. She is having a fit with nature. The rest of the ladies are enjoying the canoes and paddle boats. Sheree stays on the shore, trying to avoid the flying critters.

Jump

Easy peezy, just climb up some stairs, a hundred feet and jump.  Kenya’s excited, Phaedra Sheree, and Cynthia looks up and says “nope” out the gate.  Kenya goes for it and tries her damnedest  to make it look easy.  Kandi went and looked as if she Jumps daily. Porsha, take a leap of faith, cries up and cries down. Everyone is happy.

A Candlelight Dinner (cue scary music)

The table was beautiful, the ladies are dressed (glamping) . They reminisce about the day’s events and then…………..

Kenya apologizes (yet again) for hurting Marlo’s feelings.  The MARLO apologizes for going low about her mother. Kenya is moved.  Then (cue scary music) Marlo says she’ll move forward “with caution.” Then Marlo decides to take it there by  asking Kandi if she is a lesbian.

Are we all enjoying the salad ?

Every bodies eyes popped out with Kandi being the most confused. . Marlo clarifies that she heard the rumor from specific people in the group, which sends everyone into a fit trying to defend themselves.

Porsha and  Pheadra who started all this mess are quiet. Pheadra’s plan was to keep her mouth on the glass of wine she was drinking.    Porsha,  took the Owl route, by continually asking Who?

Sheree is pissed, fit to be tied and finally calls out Porsha, and everyone crack ups having to watch Porsha pretend to be surprised.  Shereé tells Kandi about when Porsha said, “She’s still in the closet.” Kandi shuts it all down, saying she’s “done things” with women in the past, but now she is strictly dickly for her husband. She adds that Porsha has her own experiences in the same area and won’t own up to it.

The Cool Down

The group divides into smaller groups.  In the rooms, they break it DOWN. Kandi vents her frustrations to Hazel, Kenya, and Cynthia, calling Porsha an “aggressive lesbian” when she gets drunk.   In another room , Porsha, Lauren, and Phaedra get upset over Kandi insinuating that Porsha has ever done something sexual with another woman.

Hope your taking note for the reunion.   For now I will call it LesbianGate!   Ellen, Rosie O Donnell and Wyand Sikes will break it down for us.

Coming soon Kim Zolciak, and possibly a woman named Leakes

Hot Damm!

CityFella

Published by CityFella

Big city fella, Born and Raised in the San Francisco Bay Area. Lived in New York (a part time New Yorker) for three years . I have lived in the Sacramento area since 1993. When I first moved here, I hated it. Initially found the city too conservative for my tastes. A great place to raise children however too few options for adults . The city has grown up, there is much to do here. The city suffers from low self esteem in my opinion, locals have few positive words to say about their hometown. visitors and transplants are amazed at what they find here. From, the grand old homes in Alkali Flats, and the huge trees in midtown, there are many surprises in Sacramento. Theater is alive is this area . And finally ,there is a nightlife... In.downtown midtown, for the young and not so young. My Criticism is with local government. There is a shortage of visionaries in city hall. Sacramento has long relied on the state, feds and real estate for revenue. Like many cities in America,Downtown Sacramento was the hub of activity in the area. as the population moved to the suburbs and retail followed. The city has spent millions to revive downtown. Today less than ten thousand people live downtown. No one at city hall could connect the dots. Population-Retail. Business says Sacramento is challenging and many corporations have chosen to set up operations outside the cities limits. There is vision in the burbs. Sacramento has bones, there are many good pieces here, leaders seem unable or unwilling to put those pieces together into. Rant aside, I love it here. From the trees to the rivers. But its the people here that move me. Sacramento is one of the most integrated cities in America. I find I'm welcome everywhere. The spices work in this city of nearly 500,000 and for the most part these spices blend well together. From Ukrainians to Hispanics and a sizable gay community, all the spices seem to work well here. I frequently travel and occasionally I will venture into a city with huge racial borders, where its unsafe to visit after certain hours. I haven't found it here. I cant imagine living in a community where there is one hue or one spice. I love the big trees, Temple Coffee House, the Alhambra Safeway, Zelda's Pizza, Bicyclist in Midtown, The Mother Lode Saloon, Crest Theater, and the Rivers. I could go on and I might. Sacramento is home.

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