11 Signs You’re Not Emotionally Strong Enough For A Relationship


Whether most people want to admit it or not, it takes a certain amount of emotional strength to have a healthy relationship. It takes dedication, honesty, integrity, confidence, and, to a point, understanding when it’s time to walk away.

All those traits take strength to put into action, and without that strength, you’re going to end up ruining good relationships  Here are 11 glaring signs you’re not ready for a relationship.

By Ossiana Tepfenhart/ Your Tango.com

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1. You can’t be alone, even if the alternative is an abusive relationship.

The biggest thing that people don’t realize about emotional strength is that it takes a lot of strength to be alone in this world. It really does. If you can’t handle being totally solo, you’re at a very high risk of becoming totally codependent once you do end up with someone.

2. You feel like the only way you can be validated is via a relationship or through sex.

I’ve been there. As hard as it is to understand when you’re in that zone, seeking external validation isn’t doing you any favors. The fact is that putting all the power to make you feel happy and confident into another person’s hands is a horrible idea. At best, you may end up creeping out the person because you put them on such a pedestal. At worst, you’re going to end up in a bitter cycle of hatred and self-esteem bashing.

3. You’re legit afraid to speak your mind or be yourself.

Yes, there are definitely moments when it’s better to keep your mouth shut, but I’m not talking about those times when it’s just rude to say what you really think of your aunt’s casserole. I’m talking about the times where you don’t even want to admit to likingsomething or even feel like you need to copy other people just so that you could be liked.

That’s not healthy, and it’s a sign that you haven’t found yourself yet. If you don’t know who YOU are, then how can someone else like you?

4. You’re desperate.

As totally messed up as it is for me to say this, desperation is also a sign that you aren’t strong enough to be in a healthy relationship. The reason is because desperation makes us do crazy things — things that we really aren’t supposed to do, and we do it because we’re not strong enough to put our feet down and have standards.

5. You can’t say “no.

Yes, it’s nice to be agreeable, but that doesn’t mean that you should be a doormat.  Even in the happiest relationships , there will be points where you need to be able to say no. If you can’t do that, then there’s going to be problems down your path if you go into a relationship.

6. You can’t admit that you’re wrong.

This is a very, very bad trait to have and it’s  often indicative of a personality disorder. Unfortunately, a very large part of having any healthy relationship is being able to admit that you’re wrong, apologize, and try to make things better. If you can’t do this unless the person’s already walking away, there’s very little chance that you will be able to have a healthy, happy, normal relationship.

7. You also can’t communicate well with others. 

Do you have a tendency to bottle things up until you explode over something stupid? Do you stonewall others to get your way? Do you flip out at people on a regular basis? Or, do you pout and whine when you don’t get your way? If so, then this is a problem that may have already impacted your relationships in the past.

These kinds of communication methods aren’t conducive to a healthy relationship with anyone, and what’s worse is that they may even come off as abusive. What’s odd about this is that it also tends to be a problem that comes from a need to always be right. Before you get into your next relationship, you may need to fix this problem.

8. Most people have called you selfish.

Generally speaking, being selfish isn’t a bad thing. However, if you don’t have empathy for others and can’t care for anyone but yourself, then there’s something wrong here. Sadly, being too selfish is a sign that you may not be strong enough to make a relationship work.

9. You’re angry and bitter at men.

 

Technically, anger doesn’t make you emotionally weak. However, it does make things way harder to do right by them. In fact, you may even get tempted to slam them just because you can. It’s not a good look, and it’s a sign that you may need to heal before you try again with someone else because you are definitely not ready for a relationship.

10. You have a serious issue that you need to deal with — but won’t.

We all have issues, but how well we actually get on in life will depend on how well we handle it. If you’re ignoring problems, they will multiply. You may want to work things out before you dive in.

11. You can’t take rejection.

If you honestly can’t take rejection, then you probably are not ready for a relationship. After all, there will be times when your partner can’t or won’t want to be around you. So, perhaps it’s time to work on yourself before you try to get with someone else?

Published by CityFella

Big city fella, Born and Raised in the San Francisco Bay Area. Lived in New York (a part time New Yorker) for three years . I have lived in the Sacramento area since 1993. When I first moved here, I hated it. Initially found the city too conservative for my tastes. A great place to raise children however too few options for adults . The city has grown up, there is much to do here. The city suffers from low self esteem in my opinion, locals have few positive words to say about their hometown. visitors and transplants are amazed at what they find here. From, the grand old homes in Alkali Flats, and the huge trees in midtown, there are many surprises in Sacramento. Theater is alive is this area . And finally ,there is a nightlife... In.downtown midtown, for the young and not so young. My Criticism is with local government. There is a shortage of visionaries in city hall. Sacramento has long relied on the state, feds and real estate for revenue. Like many cities in America,Downtown Sacramento was the hub of activity in the area. as the population moved to the suburbs and retail followed. The city has spent millions to revive downtown. Today less than ten thousand people live downtown. No one at city hall could connect the dots. Population-Retail. Business says Sacramento is challenging and many corporations have chosen to set up operations outside the cities limits. There is vision in the burbs. Sacramento has bones, there are many good pieces here, leaders seem unable or unwilling to put those pieces together into. Rant aside, I love it here. From the trees to the rivers. But its the people here that move me. Sacramento is one of the most integrated cities in America. I find I'm welcome everywhere. The spices work in this city of nearly 500,000 and for the most part these spices blend well together. From Ukrainians to Hispanics and a sizable gay community, all the spices seem to work well here. I frequently travel and occasionally I will venture into a city with huge racial borders, where its unsafe to visit after certain hours. I haven't found it here. I cant imagine living in a community where there is one hue or one spice. I love the big trees, Temple Coffee House, the Alhambra Safeway, Zelda's Pizza, Bicyclist in Midtown, The Mother Lode Saloon, Crest Theater, and the Rivers. I could go on and I might. Sacramento is home.

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