Online Dating: She spent two years online with a man she never met

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This is a repost of an 2012 article :I Wasted 2 Years on a Man I Never Met

By Laurie Sandell, in New York City


.I remember the first e-mail I received from Jamie; it wasn’t exactly poetic. “Hello, you sound interesting,” he wrote. Looking back, it’s hard to believe what that simple line would lead to.

He’d sent his note via At the time, I was nearing 30 and working as a secretary at a big investment bank in New York City — not exactly the fulfillment of a lifelong dream. Checking my inbox was the highlight of my day. So I checked out his profile immediately, but wrote him off just as fast — he lived in the Midwest and, more importantly, hadn’t posted a photo. “Sorry, I’m not interested,” I replied. He persisted and e-mailed a few snapshots, along with a note. Turns out he was reasonably cute, and really funny.

We started shooting flirty e-mails back and forth. This went on for a couple of weeks until I said, “So, do you want to come to New York for a date?” Suddenly, his e-mails stopped. For two days, I heard nothing. Then he wrote: “Listen, I’m sorry. I really screwed up. I’m not looking for a relationship; I was just trying to have some e-mail fun.”

“E-mail fun? E-MAIL FUN??” I wrote. Furious, I deleted every last one of his notes.

A few weeks later, he resurfaced. “Let me explain myself,” he began. “Ever since my father died, I’ve been terrified to get too close to anyone . . .”


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