Gun vs Sex Toy

Posted byCityFellaPosted inHumorTags:, , , ,

 

Earlier this month a Homeowner calls the Martin (Florida) County Sheriff Department about a man sleeping on his property.

When the Sheriff arrived they found the suspect, seventy one year old Donald Hornback sleeping on the property next to a bicycle.

The owner wanted him gone!

The suspect had all his belonging spread out around him, including a can of Steel Reserve beer.

(The following is a CityFella Dramatization )

The Sheriff told the suspect to leave the Property.

The suspect told the Sheriff…

Ya’ll anit got no right to take me from this land!T

(Then started singing)

And I am telling you, I’m not going!  

This the best land, I’ll ever know !

There’s no way I can ever go
No, no, no, no way
No, no, no, no way

The Sheriff’s drew their guns

As the suspect started gathering up in his back pack , he picked a super dildo and started swinging it at the officers and the landowner

(He started singing again as he was swinging the super dildo) 

I’m staying, I’m staying
And you, and you, you’re gonna let me
Oh, you’re gonna let me
The Sheriffs with their guns drawn considered shooting the suspect, but they were concerned about the super dildo’s welfare. 
They threw the suspect in the back of the squad car. and the super dildo rode up front with the officers. 
_____________
(What really happened)
The owner wanted him off his property.  The suspect said the cops “had no right to remove him from the victim’s property,” 
As the suspect gathered up his belongings in a backpack, the Old Gangstah “picked up a large dildo and began to swing it around at the officers and the victim on scene.”

Hornback was subsequently disarmed and taken into custody. Pictured above, he is free on $750 bond.

Hornback was charging him with trespassing, a misdemeanor. He is scheduled for arraignment on December 14.

No word on the dildo.

CityFella

Published by CityFella

Moved to the Big Tomata in the nineties from San Francisco. No Suburbs for me with its single colored houses and lawns and the excitement of pulling out my trash can once a week. I'm a CityFella , a part time New Yorker. I'm happiest in the Center City where people the streets and people are alive. I'm still waiting to buy a 34th floor condo somewhere downtown/Midtown with a nightclub. "Hurry I'm old" My politics are somewhere in the middle with a needle that constantly moves. I'm too liberal to be a Republican and too conservative to be a Democrat. Everything interests me . I've come to love Sacratomato, Its a nice town in cheap sensible shoes .

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