Oh my fucking gawd! I’m thirty. It was devastating, my youth!
Turning forty was less shocking however, I spent the first two years of my forties saying I was thirty nine.
One day, I noticed a grey hair in my goatee, I didn’t think anything about it. A few days later there were three, all in the same neighborhood. Not today, I thought to myself as I quickly plucked those bad boys out.
Months went by, I was on a weekend vacation with the family. I looked in a mirror and there they were, all grouped up together. A renegaded bunch standing tall like they were Teamsters. Well you don’t eff with the Teamsters. So I did what a normal guy does, I carefully covered them in black Kiwi shoe polish.
By my fiftieth birthday the Teamsters had won. Their diabolical plan had worked, AND they were expanding. The mustache was beginning to have more salt than paper. To fight them off I bought “Just for men” However, with the basic black I started to look like a Deacon at the First Eucalyptus Missionary Baptist Church. I now know Medium brown works best for me. Warning : Don’t color your southern hair, you’ll learn a few new dance moves, just saying.
God has a sense of humor. The grey hair suddenly started to grow faster. I had to get a part time job so I could afford to cover the grey. In addition to facial hair, the nose hair started growing faster. You just know, when people are not looking into your eyes and staring at your braided nose hairs. I have worn out several nose rimmers. As more baby boomers come online, someone like Dewalt or Black and Decker will make a heavy duty hair trimmer.
If your forty or forty plus, embrace the grey, you’ll go before it does.