These Worst First Date Stories Are So Damn Awkward


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By: Korin Miller/Mens Health

Uh, can we not talk about your ex the whole time?

“I can’t wait to go on another first date!” said pretty much no one, ever.

While first dates give you a great chance to get to know someone new, trying to cram the basics of your life into a few hours while getting the 411 on someone else can be stressful as hell.

Of course, some first dates turn into meaningful relationships (it helps when you follow the 5 best first date tips). But it sure can feels like you have to go through some real, uh, winners before that happens. Just remember you’re not alone in this seemingly endless struggle to find an eligible human.

For some reassurance, people on Reddit are spilling details about their absolute worst first dates ever and we are so here for it. Read on, and rest assured.

 

The Relationship Interview That Masqueraded as a First Date

When @KatetheGreat22 went on a first date, she probably wasn’t expecting the crappy experience that unfolded. Instead of actually acting like a normal person, her date treated her like she was applying for a job…as his girlfriend.

Literally we sat across from each other at a table at a coffee shop. He did not order a drink, and he fired questions at me like it was a job interview. Then he ended the date after a half hour. But he texted me later wanting to see me again. I guess I made it to the second round of interviewing?

The Girl Who Just Wanted to Freeload

Sure, there are some things you want to know about your potential partner upfront, but one girl made it very clear to @LikeAstonEdMonkey that she was just looking for someone to take care of her. Just a tip: Asking about someone’s credit score on a date is a really, really bad idea.

We met online and she was cute and charming online so I asked her out. Over dinner, I remember being asked what my job was, if I ever had been arrested, how was my credit, and how many “partners” I had in my life. She was angry that I didnt want to go out with her again and I ended up having to block her number. I know she found out that I made really good money and she was basically a gold digger looking to get married.

He looked hot and fresh on Growlr 

You can never be totally sure online.    His online pictures looked crisp and hot.  But what made him stand out to @Urbanbear916  was his intellect, he had more to say than most online.  They learned they had a lot in common, from vintage cars to Reality TV.

We talked online for about three weeks before agreeing to meet for coffee.     A man in a dingy blue shirt entered Starbucks and asked for a cup of water his body odor was strong I assumed he was one of the unfortunate homeless who lived downtown.   When he turned around it was HIM, everything about him was dirty, his clothes needed washing and his nails was filthy.  Under the dingy was a handsome man.  He wanted to talk, I wanted to escape, his odor was so sharp it burned.  We still talk and he wants to go out, but I can’t bring myself to tell him he stinks. 

 

The Guy Who Read Way Too Much Into Things

People can get so nervous on dates that they talk a lot, but asking the other person questions and actually interacting with them is what makes this whole thing a “date.” Apparently, @AmyLovesTheOrioles’ date didn’t get the memo.

The guy spent the entire time talking about himself and his accomplishments and never asked me a single question about myself. We finished our meal and I said that I had to go home. When I got home, he texted to see if I wanted to go out again. I declined. He then continued to text me long strings of insults because I didn’t love him. After the first [painful] date.

The Guy Who Was So Not Ready to Be Dating Again

Getting back out there after a breakup is tough. But it’s probably a good idea to make sure you’re over your last relationship before you try to start a new one. Apparently @MyCatsRock’s date wasn’t quite there yet.

He got drunk and cried about his ex gf that dumped him for some douche.

 

The Guy Who Thought ‘Date’ Meant ‘Free Advice’

Showing someone you’re interested in their career is important. Blatantly trying to use them for free labor — on a date — is pretty much the worst idea ever.

 I went on a date with a guy & in the middle of dinner, he asks me “you’re an accountant, right?” i say that i am. he pulls out a folder & says “this is my tax return from last year. would you mind taking a look at it? i want to know if the guy i paid prepared it properly.

The Guy Who Set the Bar Too High

When you make first date plans, it’s generally expected that you’ll stick with them — or at least clue your date in if things change. Unfortunately, that didn’t happen with @Chop117.

Told me we were going to go to this restaurant I really had been wanting to go to in our town. He said he would pay for the meal. The foodie in me was pretty excited to try this place I had never been to before. When we walked right past it I start questioning where this date was going. So we ended up at McDonalds. He ordered himself some food and promptly asked me if I wanted something, which of course I denied. Que the next 45 minutes of almost silence except for him chowing down on French fries.

The Recovering Alcoholic Who Seemed to Have a Test

Addiction is scary, and recovery is tough. But @OhSoEasy made it pretty clear that she would not have ordered a beer if she had known that her date was a recovering alcoholic. Instead, the date ended up being super awkward.

We met at a sit down Chinese restaurant. I ordered a beer. He pulled out a medallion he wore around his neck that was given to him from Alcoholics Anonymous. He told me he was in recovery. It was awkward after that and I couldn’t drink the beer in front of him. I never saw him again after that.

 

Published by CityFella

Big city fella, Born and Raised in the San Francisco Bay Area. Lived in New York (a part time New Yorker) for three years . I have lived in the Sacramento area since 1993. When I first moved here, I hated it. Initially found the city too conservative for my tastes. A great place to raise children however too few options for adults . The city has grown up, there is much to do here. The city suffers from low self esteem in my opinion, locals have few positive words to say about their hometown. visitors and transplants are amazed at what they find here. From, the grand old homes in Alkali Flats, and the huge trees in midtown, there are many surprises in Sacramento. Theater is alive is this area . And finally ,there is a nightlife... In.downtown midtown, for the young and not so young. My Criticism is with local government. There is a shortage of visionaries in city hall. Sacramento has long relied on the state, feds and real estate for revenue. Like many cities in America,Downtown Sacramento was the hub of activity in the area. as the population moved to the suburbs and retail followed. The city has spent millions to revive downtown. Today less than ten thousand people live downtown. No one at city hall could connect the dots. Population-Retail. Business says Sacramento is challenging and many corporations have chosen to set up operations outside the cities limits. There is vision in the burbs. Sacramento has bones, there are many good pieces here, leaders seem unable or unwilling to put those pieces together into. Rant aside, I love it here. From the trees to the rivers. But its the people here that move me. Sacramento is one of the most integrated cities in America. I find I'm welcome everywhere. The spices work in this city of nearly 500,000 and for the most part these spices blend well together. From Ukrainians to Hispanics and a sizable gay community, all the spices seem to work well here. I frequently travel and occasionally I will venture into a city with huge racial borders, where its unsafe to visit after certain hours. I haven't found it here. I cant imagine living in a community where there is one hue or one spice. I love the big trees, Temple Coffee House, the Alhambra Safeway, Zelda's Pizza, Bicyclist in Midtown, The Mother Lode Saloon, Crest Theater, and the Rivers. I could go on and I might. Sacramento is home.

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