GASLIGHTING, is a term to describe people who emotionally abuse others
They can distort your mind by planting seeds of self-doubt without you knowing
behavioral expert Grazina Fechner reveals the warning signs
By:Cindy Tran/Daily Mail Australia
To the outside world, they lead a seemingly happy life.But behind closed doors, they can deliberately distort your mind by planting seeds of self-doubt without you even knowing.
Meet ‘gaslighters’ – a term to describe people who emotionally abuse others with such conviction and confidence that the victim starts to feel uncertain themselves.
So given they can manipulate people so subtly, how easy can you spot one?
‘In the whole gaslighting arena, you generally think you’re going crazy. It’s the emotional abuse, thinking you’re going crazy and lack of control,’ she told The Morning Show.
‘There’s lots of different ways to spot a gaslighter – everything from you starting to doubt yourself, so straight away, you’re on the back foot all the time.
How to Spot A Gaslighter
Correcting Your Memory
Calls You Crazy
Plant seeds of self-doubt
There mistakes becomes yours
‘They’re always lying and they’re correcting your memory – so what will happen is, you’ll say “no, I didn’t do that” but they’ll say “yes, you did, that’s exactly what happened”. They’ll call you crazy, so often you’ll sit there and go “far out, maybe I am going crazy”.
And their mistakes often become yours. So when they’ve made the mistake, they’ll bring it back to you and say “you know what, that was all about you, nothing to do with me”.’
Describing their behaviour, Ms Fechner said gaslighers have a ‘fake little persona’.
Sydney’s behavioural expert Grazina Fechner (pictured) reveals the warning signs to help you identify whether you’re a victim of gaslighting
‘So to the outside world, they live this glamorous life, and they are the perfect husband, the perfect father and the perfect employer,’ she explained.
‘They feed off drama, so they love drama. They have that “perfect” image, they rationalise everything, they always think they’re right, and they stay in control.’
‘When they can manipulate and when they can emotionally abuse, that means they have control over you… It’s in various situations and they are very good at doing it.’
And it’s not just couples who are suffering emotionally. Ms Fechner said employers can also gaslight by shifting the blame onto you after they made a mistake at work.
She said mother-in-laws or family members are also good at gaslighting – but when they are with their friends, they have a different persona because they know they don’t have control over them.