They are often naturally charming. Well liked by nearly everyone in the family. As a child they made you laugh. As you grew older, you laughed however the jokes made you uncomfortable.
You weren’t the only one. Family members saying while laughing ” Ohh you shouldn’t say that” or “That’s wrong” in mid laughter.
Despite the outrageous behavior. they are often protected by family members. “Oh he doesn’t mean it.” “He would take the shirt off his back” “She would give you her last quarter”
Over time this charming individual has made you uncomfortable when non family members are present. Your on the edge, as you wait in terror, for the off color or racist remark to be delivered in front of the unsuspecting visitor.
Then there it is!
In living color.
As the family laughs, you look away ashamed
Your options are few. Confrontation or exit. Ideally, you should wait for to talk, away from family. Calmly tell him or her what you find offensive and why. Once you’ve done this leave it. Don’t go back and revisit the conversation, it only brings animosity.
These individuals exists in every family. They’ve may have gone unnoticed for years. Until you view the family member through the eyes of a non family member.
I’ve found some success in silent eye contact. After all they are entertainers. They’re goal is to make everyone laugh and a good entertainer make adjustments for the audiences
They are others, who simply don’t care how their words affect others. “This is who I am, take me or leave me! ” When this occurs, I quietly leave. No drama, no words are needed. We love our families, we must except them for who they are warts and all., attempting to change who they are is like bumping are heads on a brick wall. However, we can make adjustments and at the end of the day, its not about their feelings and how others my react to our leaving.
This is when it’s on us to make the adjustment as we teach people how to treat us.