Trust, Love and Money: when the family wont


Image result for people with backs turned

Someone had to help him everyone has abandoned him, his parents,his friends, he had no one!

Is what she told the judge, on one of those judge shows. No one would help him ! I loaned him more than four thousand dollars. I got him a cell phone, paid for his broken tooth, bought him clothes so he could look for work. I fixed his car and more……..

Judge: After you bought him some of those things, when did he start paying you back? He made excuses? she said. So you kept doling out the money? Well he said, he would pay me back when he got a job. Did he get a job? Yes, and he gave me fifty dollars. Fifty dollars? How much did he owe you when he gave you fifty dollars? Almost three thousand dollars? When did a light come one? When did you realize, he wasn’t going to pay you back? Judge! Your honor! Your honor, he had no one? I believed him, he said he was going to pay me back! What happened between three and four thousand dollars? Why are you here today? Because, he lied to me, he was buying new clothes, he has a new car. I owe more than four thousand dollars .I gave him money to help him and now I have to pay it all back, its not right. I trusted him,its not right! IT’S NOT RIGHT!!! He said he would pay me back!!!!!

THE DEFENDANT: Every thing she gave me was a gift. She wanted to help me out and I appreciated it. She’s a good friend.

The Judge: I’m not sure whats going on here. Maybe you wanted to be his girlfriend. Several times you said, no one would help him. I need you to think about this. When a man of 30 says, no one would will help him, alarm bells should go off. There is a reason. He hasn’t paid you back and I am sure he hasn’t paid anyone else either.

My courtroom is filled with litigants who have co-signed, opened cell phone accounts with people with bad credit and the reason they have bad credit is because they don’t pay their bills! Then they are surprised with these people with bad credit don’t pay them back! What I can award you is the $800 cell phone bill. (the women leaves in tears)

As a parent, there isn’t much I wouldn’t do for my children. As their parent, you are more lenient with your children than the world, because they are your children.

Refusing to financially help your child isn’t easy. The difficult decision is reached after many sleepless nights. As parents we we want to protect our children from harm . However we can cripple our children with love by delaying their inevitable growth.

If you able to financially help your children do so with the stipulation they are to pay you back, the same is they would any bank or lending institution. With the exception of an illness, they are to pay you back at the mutually agreed upon time.

This is important, as you want to prepare your child at 18, or 48 for the real world. If the fail to repay you. No other loans! Again, with the exception of an illness or a catastrophic event. Note: If your child’s failure to repay you will result in anger and resentment, do not lend them money. Its not worth ruining your relationships with your children, friends and family.

Often, the best solution is allowing your child to solve the problem, it generates a sense of pride and independence.

CityFella

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Published by CityFella

Big city fella, Born and Raised in the San Francisco Bay Area. Lived in New York (a part time New Yorker) for three years . I have lived in the Sacramento area since 1993. When I first moved here, I hated it. Initially found the city too conservative for my tastes. A great place to raise children however too few options for adults . The city has grown up, there is much to do here. The city suffers from low self esteem in my opinion, locals have few positive words to say about their hometown. visitors and transplants are amazed at what they find here. From, the grand old homes in Alkali Flats, and the huge trees in midtown, there are many surprises in Sacramento. Theater is alive is this area . And finally ,there is a nightlife... In.downtown midtown, for the young and not so young. My Criticism is with local government. There is a shortage of visionaries in city hall. Sacramento has long relied on the state, feds and real estate for revenue. Like many cities in America,Downtown Sacramento was the hub of activity in the area. as the population moved to the suburbs and retail followed. The city has spent millions to revive downtown. Today less than ten thousand people live downtown. No one at city hall could connect the dots. Population-Retail. Business says Sacramento is challenging and many corporations have chosen to set up operations outside the cities limits. There is vision in the burbs. Sacramento has bones, there are many good pieces here, leaders seem unable or unwilling to put those pieces together into. Rant aside, I love it here. From the trees to the rivers. But its the people here that move me. Sacramento is one of the most integrated cities in America. I find I'm welcome everywhere. The spices work in this city of nearly 500,000 and for the most part these spices blend well together. From Ukrainians to Hispanics and a sizable gay community, all the spices seem to work well here. I frequently travel and occasionally I will venture into a city with huge racial borders, where its unsafe to visit after certain hours. I haven't found it here. I cant imagine living in a community where there is one hue or one spice. I love the big trees, Temple Coffee House, the Alhambra Safeway, Zelda's Pizza, Bicyclist in Midtown, The Mother Lode Saloon, Crest Theater, and the Rivers. I could go on and I might. Sacramento is home.

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