“Till Death Do Us Part”


Image result for dan gasby the view

A week or so ago, some of the panel on “The View” were disturbed after seeing images of actress, model, television hotel, author and restaurateur Barbara Smith (B Smith to the world) who has Alzheimer’s. Other’s, notably host and friend of the couple Sunny Hostin who was angry that Dan Gasby has a girlfriend who lives part time with the couple.

Host, Sunny Hostins, grand father left her grandmother who had Alzheimer’s, she and her family cared for her grandmother.

Last December, Gasby announced on Facebook that he was “feeling great” with his new girlfriend, Alex Lerner,

writing “#WhyLie.” It became clear from social media posts that Lerner was occasionally staying at the couple’s home.

Since the posting, Gasby has faced a backlash from the public.  Most were troubled by his relationship with his girlfriend.  Beleving it was being disrespectful to his wife and  their marriage for others, its his white girlfriend.

Mr Gasby, appeared deeply hurt on “The View” yesterday. He said that his wife is in remarkably good shape from the eyebrows down, but mentally. she is a toddler.

He talked how she would escape from their former home and freely get into any car with a black man thinking that man was him.

He said when his wife got the diagnosis in 2013, She told him, She wanted him to go on.

However, some of the co-host wondered how Gasby could know Smith was consenting to his extramarital relationship, and Lerner’s presence in their home. He said,“I’m not doing anything we didn’t discuss — we were in business, we were two sides of a coin.”

He said many wouldn’t understand how “extremely difficult” it is to “love someone, to have done what we’ve done and what we’ve accomplished together… to be criticized and not have a forum like I’m having today to have my side of the story told.”

One thing I know is consistent is I’ve listened to what she said. We made these plans a long time ago. What I’ve seen Alex deal with, my daughter, myself… makes me realize I’m doing the right thing. I’ve gotten grief no matter what I do.

“I wanted her to have the dignity of freedom. Sanity for me.” He insisted, “I’m keeping my vows. Vows are to protect, to care for.”

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One thing Gasby brought up was the preparation for death and preparation to take care of you spouse should they fall ill. He said, in his will, there are do not resuscitate instructions.

I’m not, prepared for death and I imagine few are. Should I die today, my death would cause a lot of stress to my love one.. They don’t know where my insurance papers are , or burial plans. I hope to change this.

Its difficult being a caretaker, no matter what the illness is. I’m not sure how I feel about Gasby having a girlfriend. On one hand, he has someone to help him through this very difficult journey. On the other hand, it seems inappropriate. No one knows, what he and his wife discussed. The fact that his daughter seems to be on board with this, makes him believable. He has options, but he is honoring his vows “Till Death”

CityFella

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Published by CityFella

Big city fella, Born and Raised in the San Francisco Bay Area. Lived in New York (a part time New Yorker) for three years . I have lived in the Sacramento area since 1993. When I first moved here, I hated it. Initially found the city too conservative for my tastes. A great place to raise children however too few options for adults . The city has grown up, there is much to do here. The city suffers from low self esteem in my opinion, locals have few positive words to say about their hometown. visitors and transplants are amazed at what they find here. From, the grand old homes in Alkali Flats, and the huge trees in midtown, there are many surprises in Sacramento. Theater is alive is this area . And finally ,there is a nightlife... In.downtown midtown, for the young and not so young. My Criticism is with local government. There is a shortage of visionaries in city hall. Sacramento has long relied on the state, feds and real estate for revenue. Like many cities in America,Downtown Sacramento was the hub of activity in the area. as the population moved to the suburbs and retail followed. The city has spent millions to revive downtown. Today less than ten thousand people live downtown. No one at city hall could connect the dots. Population-Retail. Business says Sacramento is challenging and many corporations have chosen to set up operations outside the cities limits. There is vision in the burbs. Sacramento has bones, there are many good pieces here, leaders seem unable or unwilling to put those pieces together into. Rant aside, I love it here. From the trees to the rivers. But its the people here that move me. Sacramento is one of the most integrated cities in America. I find I'm welcome everywhere. The spices work in this city of nearly 500,000 and for the most part these spices blend well together. From Ukrainians to Hispanics and a sizable gay community, all the spices seem to work well here. I frequently travel and occasionally I will venture into a city with huge racial borders, where its unsafe to visit after certain hours. I haven't found it here. I cant imagine living in a community where there is one hue or one spice. I love the big trees, Temple Coffee House, the Alhambra Safeway, Zelda's Pizza, Bicyclist in Midtown, The Mother Lode Saloon, Crest Theater, and the Rivers. I could go on and I might. Sacramento is home.

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