There will be consequences if I am served a slice of sheet cake from Costco

I’m a BIG fan of Costco I love everything about the organization. Even the employees seem to like their jobs. Hands down they have one of the best beef hot dogs around. Don’t get me started on the Kirkland Mac and Cheese and those rotisserie chickens ooooooh sweet mama!

If your having a party, its doesn’t get much better than a Costco Sheet cake. The problem is ,those sweet bitches are everywhere! Office Parties, Graduations, Baby Showers, birthday parties, EVERYWHERE!!!!

Don’t get me wrong, they are good cakes. They certainly beat those supermarkets slabs.

But after 30 years of various Costco sheet cakes…. I can’t anymore!

I’m minding my business, sitting on a park bench and some women offers you a slice of cake. “Begone you nice old hag.! No one wants that shit here!

I can’t

I can’t

I fucking cant!

Image result for i cant gif

I drive down to L.A to a posh birthday party, I’m the only one there with a Korean Car,

( I was the fifth or six guest to arrive and the valets said the parking area was FULL!!!!…..Swines! )

They had a servers, this is so not Rio Linda. The food was Next Level, very impressive ! It was clear the hosts spent thousands for this catered affair, There was a large variety of wines, waters and juices.

A final toast before dessert. Eight people brought out four large cakes with sparklers on them. There must be a Costco in Encino, four Costco sheet cakes.

Expectations Shattered, your fucking kidding me!

This is Encino, I’m in a multi-million dollar house a few minutes from Kanye and Kim’s mansion and they are serving us “A Costco Sheet cake” I have a major attitude and an internal melt down that I cant shake.

The was one large candle on the four cakes , as he blew on the candle, the cake exploded. all over him and the guests standing near by. A group of waiters brought out five smaller cakes . Each cake had a theme, and cakes were fantastic. I’m a happy fat man

Costco makes a fine cake but if I’m served another slice, there is going to be an incident. (details of which I cant divulge here) but it will be epic and possibly result in jail time.

Let this be a warning!


That was close.,


Published by CityFella

Big city fella, Born and Raised in the San Francisco Bay Area. Lived in New York (a part time New Yorker) for three years . I have lived in the Sacramento area since 1993. When I first moved here, I hated it. Initially found the city too conservative for my tastes. A great place to raise children however too few options for adults . The city has grown up, there is much to do here. The city suffers from low self esteem in my opinion, locals have few positive words to say about their hometown. visitors and transplants are amazed at what they find here. From, the grand old homes in Alkali Flats, and the huge trees in midtown, there are many surprises in Sacramento. Theater is alive is this area . And finally ,there is a nightlife... In.downtown midtown, for the young and not so young. My Criticism is with local government. There is a shortage of visionaries in city hall. Sacramento has long relied on the state, feds and real estate for revenue. Like many cities in America,Downtown Sacramento was the hub of activity in the area. as the population moved to the suburbs and retail followed. The city has spent millions to revive downtown. Today less than ten thousand people live downtown. No one at city hall could connect the dots. Population-Retail. Business says Sacramento is challenging and many corporations have chosen to set up operations outside the cities limits. There is vision in the burbs. Sacramento has bones, there are many good pieces here, leaders seem unable or unwilling to put those pieces together into. Rant aside, I love it here. From the trees to the rivers. But its the people here that move me. Sacramento is one of the most integrated cities in America. I find I'm welcome everywhere. The spices work in this city of nearly 500,000 and for the most part these spices blend well together. From Ukrainians to Hispanics and a sizable gay community, all the spices seem to work well here. I frequently travel and occasionally I will venture into a city with huge racial borders, where its unsafe to visit after certain hours. I haven't found it here. I cant imagine living in a community where there is one hue or one spice. I love the big trees, Temple Coffee House, the Alhambra Safeway, Zelda's Pizza, Bicyclist in Midtown, The Mother Lode Saloon, Crest Theater, and the Rivers. I could go on and I might. Sacramento is home.

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