There will be consequences if I am served a slice of sheet cake from Costco

I’m a BIG fan of Costco I love everything about the organization. Even the employees seem to like their jobs. Hands down they have one of the best beef hot dogs around. Don’t get me started on the Kirkland Mac and Cheese and those rotisserie chickens ooooooh sweet mama!

If your having a party, its doesn’t get much better than a Costco Sheet cake. The problem is ,those sweet bitches are everywhere! Office Parties, Graduations, Baby Showers, birthday parties, EVERYWHERE!!!!

Don’t get me wrong, they are good cakes. They certainly beat those supermarkets slabs.

But after 30 years of various Costco sheet cakes…. I can’t anymore!

I’m minding my business, sitting on a park bench and some women offers you a slice of cake. “Begone you nice old hag.! No one wants that shit here!

I can’t

I can’t

I fucking cant!

Image result for i cant gif

I drive down to L.A to a posh birthday party, I’m the only one there with a Korean Car,

( I was the fifth or six guest to arrive and the valets said the parking area was FULL!!!!…..Swines! )

They had a servers, this is so not Rio Linda. The food was Next Level, very impressive ! It was clear the hosts spent thousands for this catered affair, There was a large variety of wines, waters and juices.

A final toast before dessert. Eight people brought out four large cakes with sparklers on them. There must be a Costco in Encino, four Costco sheet cakes.

Expectations Shattered, your fucking kidding me!

This is Encino, I’m in a multi-million dollar house a few minutes from Kanye and Kim’s mansion and they are serving us “A Costco Sheet cake” I have a major attitude and an internal melt down that I cant shake.

The was one large candle on the four cakes , as he blew on the candle, the cake exploded. all over him and the guests standing near by. A group of waiters brought out five smaller cakes . Each cake had a theme, and cakes were fantastic. I’m a happy fat man

Costco makes a fine cake but if I’m served another slice, there is going to be an incident. (details of which I cant divulge here) but it will be epic and possibly result in jail time.

Let this be a warning!


That was close.,