916 Lyft Uber Tales #1 (Life is like a car of chocolates) You never know what your gonna GET!!!!


This is my first chapter and Id like to start by giving you a little background.  My car was totaled in an accident last spring.   I live in downtown Sacramento and thought I would try taking uber, lyft and public transit.

I am a complete GIANT.  I stand 6.4 weight 370 pounds and have feet so large it makes Bozo’s look like he buys his shoes from Baby Gap

The first thing I learned about Uber (comfort) and  Lyft’s (XL) is you never ever know what car your getting until it arrives.

A assumed would get a large car or SUV.  The very first Uber,Uber UBER ( I like saying it three times ) was Kia Suv.  It was okay, maybe large for Koreans but marginal for Sac’s Black Giant.  In my mind I thought it would be an “AMERICAN” (flashing lights)  Ford Explorer.  I made due, the Korean car welcomed me.   Days went by, no Suburbans, Dodge Durango’s or Ford’s.     Everything was alright until they sent a Buick Encore to pick me up.  HAVE YOUR SEEN AN ENCORE !!!!!

Image result for buick encore

The Buick Encore is a bite size SUV, perfect for a size 0 who thinks she’s chubby!

The driver was nice and very friendly.. “Oh come on you’ll fit” “I have a large uncle and he is 5.8 and he easily fits in..   I shouldn’t have gotten into the car,  I mean, didn’t she notice the full moon was suddenly missing?   Jeezus!

Wait ,5.8 is large? Girrrrl, If I trip and fell on your Buick you and your CD’s would die.

After a taking off my jacket and vest, lubing my shoulders I was in.  Breathing was possible on wide right turns. Being Black, she couldn’t tell I was turning code blue in the dark, (Neither can most people-but what cha gonna do).

When we arrived at my destination in Natomas, I had to figure how to get out, with out the small Suv buckling.

The very perky driver told me to take my time, don’t worry.  (again she’s comparing me with her 5.8 uncle who probably weighs less than my socks) . I reclined the seat and swung out my ginormous feet, scraping the headliner. and then rolled my self out of the car   I noticed Miss perky derky holding her forehead, possibly a victim of a wayward Nike.  She said thank you holding said forehead as she drove away.

After that experience I started taking the cheapest fare.    The cars can range from triple small to pickup.  I’ve been in Range Rovers and Mercedes.

One driver, who I’d like to call Pot hold Benz.  A very pretty girl in a late model E Class Mercedes seems to have an affinity for pot holes.  Even the pot holes that were out side minding their own dammed business, she’d hit.   What  killed me, she was surprised and TALK as she’d hit on. .  Ohh, ouch, oooooh!  followed by stupid!

Its non of my bizness but this chick needs to be driving something made by Tonka. She’s sweet but slow.

Strong Sturdy Feet   

You can tell me to lose weight, but my feet are still going to be longggg!

Standing on the sidewalk and I can hear drivers saying when did they put speed bumps here.?

CityFella

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Published by CityFella

Big city fella, Born and Raised in the San Francisco Bay Area. Lived in New York (a part time New Yorker) for three years . I have lived in the Sacramento area since 1993. When I first moved here, I hated it. Initially found the city too conservative for my tastes. A great place to raise children however too few options for adults . The city has grown up, there is much to do here. The city suffers from low self esteem in my opinion, locals have few positive words to say about their hometown. visitors and transplants are amazed at what they find here. From, the grand old homes in Alkali Flats, and the huge trees in midtown, there are many surprises in Sacramento. Theater is alive is this area . And finally ,there is a nightlife... In.downtown midtown, for the young and not so young. My Criticism is with local government. There is a shortage of visionaries in city hall. Sacramento has long relied on the state, feds and real estate for revenue. Like many cities in America,Downtown Sacramento was the hub of activity in the area. as the population moved to the suburbs and retail followed. The city has spent millions to revive downtown. Today less than ten thousand people live downtown. No one at city hall could connect the dots. Population-Retail. Business says Sacramento is challenging and many corporations have chosen to set up operations outside the cities limits. There is vision in the burbs. Sacramento has bones, there are many good pieces here, leaders seem unable or unwilling to put those pieces together into. Rant aside, I love it here. From the trees to the rivers. But its the people here that move me. Sacramento is one of the most integrated cities in America. I find I'm welcome everywhere. The spices work in this city of nearly 500,000 and for the most part these spices blend well together. From Ukrainians to Hispanics and a sizable gay community, all the spices seem to work well here. I frequently travel and occasionally I will venture into a city with huge racial borders, where its unsafe to visit after certain hours. I haven't found it here. I cant imagine living in a community where there is one hue or one spice. I love the big trees, Temple Coffee House, the Alhambra Safeway, Zelda's Pizza, Bicyclist in Midtown, The Mother Lode Saloon, Crest Theater, and the Rivers. I could go on and I might. Sacramento is home.

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