Mom, why are you being such a bitch?

Standing in line at Marshall’s on  Saturday.   “Mom’ can I get these shoes?  No Ashley! no more!   Mom! why your being such a bitch!   Nearly, everyone in line turned around.   Embarrassed, the woman turned around and said “Ashley” don’t you talk to me like that!  Ashley, said whatever, and walked away!

This isn’t the first time Ashley has called her mom a bitch,  The thirteen or fourteen year old has done it often. with her mom’s permission.

This isn’t an option in many homes.  My mom would have punched me in that line and from the looks of the crowd last Saturday, there would have been applause.

Raising a child isn’t for the faint of heart.  Their quest for independence begins  when they’re about two years old and can last decades.  To rebel is part of the process.

It is the parents role to manage, nurture and protect.  Again this isn’t for the faint of heart because as the child grows older so his determination to challenge you at every turn..

Its important for some parents to become friends with their children.  Being the cool, fun parent.  Or wanting the child like them,some parents compete for the love and affection of the child.  To do this, means you have to relinquish authority, catering to the desires of the child vs what’s best for the child.

Without parental boundaries,, the child may view other adults and authority figures as  equals.  As a result, some of these children may struggle with authority figures.

A parent is the child’s gateway to the world.  Through the parent, the child learns respect, fairness, patience, empathy and other lessons only a respected authority figure can teach, not an equal.

Until he is developed, the child will run into the street after a ball, without looking right or left. It is the parents responsibility to teach and  protect the child until that child reaches a point in development where he fully comprehends.

A child isn’t likely to respect an equal or another child, however he or she is likely to listen and respond to an adult figure.  Ashley, routinely calls her mother a bitch when she’ angry and she has for quite a while. Change is possible but it will be difficult as the cement as set.    Her mom may have a friend but at what cost.?

One grandma said it best in Marshall’s… That little girl thinks she’s her mothers girlfriend and I blame her for that..  Mothers have to be mothers and teach there children respect.  I raised two boys and seven girls and they respected me and my husband, that little girl has no respect for her mom and I blame the mom!

Published by CityFella

Big city fella, Born and Raised in the San Francisco Bay Area. Lived in New York (a part time New Yorker) for three years . I have lived in the Sacramento area since 1993. When I first moved here, I hated it. Initially found the city too conservative for my tastes. A great place to raise children however too few options for adults . The city has grown up, there is much to do here. The city suffers from low self esteem in my opinion, locals have few positive words to say about their hometown. visitors and transplants are amazed at what they find here. From, the grand old homes in Alkali Flats, and the huge trees in midtown, there are many surprises in Sacramento. Theater is alive is this area . And finally ,there is a nightlife... In.downtown midtown, for the young and not so young. My Criticism is with local government. There is a shortage of visionaries in city hall. Sacramento has long relied on the state, feds and real estate for revenue. Like many cities in America,Downtown Sacramento was the hub of activity in the area. as the population moved to the suburbs and retail followed. The city has spent millions to revive downtown. Today less than ten thousand people live downtown. No one at city hall could connect the dots. Population-Retail. Business says Sacramento is challenging and many corporations have chosen to set up operations outside the cities limits. There is vision in the burbs. Sacramento has bones, there are many good pieces here, leaders seem unable or unwilling to put those pieces together into. Rant aside, I love it here. From the trees to the rivers. But its the people here that move me. Sacramento is one of the most integrated cities in America. I find I'm welcome everywhere. The spices work in this city of nearly 500,000 and for the most part these spices blend well together. From Ukrainians to Hispanics and a sizable gay community, all the spices seem to work well here. I frequently travel and occasionally I will venture into a city with huge racial borders, where its unsafe to visit after certain hours. I haven't found it here. I cant imagine living in a community where there is one hue or one spice. I love the big trees, Temple Coffee House, the Alhambra Safeway, Zelda's Pizza, Bicyclist in Midtown, The Mother Lode Saloon, Crest Theater, and the Rivers. I could go on and I might. Sacramento is home.

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