My I-Robot Tried to Escape

Image result for robot vacuum

For years I’d wanted one, but they were $500-$600.

A Robot to make my life easier. Yesss

I imagined a world where I would return from work and all the floors would be vacuumed.

The commercials were so appealing, as were the you tube videos.   I even considered getting a cat so he could go for rides while I’m at work.    If his buddies called, he could tell them he went for spin around the house.

A couple of years ago, Consumer Reports reviewed Robot Vac’s. and one vac was a best buy at $229.00!!!    I bought it on Cyber Monday for $187.00 (oh happy day!)

It arrived at my home in a big box with three separate instruction folders.  Extra brushes and this brown coil.

Who needs instructions?  I put it on the floor and pushed the remote, nothing.   Wait! they sent me a broken Robot!   I waited a day, and read on the the instruction pamphlets that said , that I need to put the Robot on the base to charge it before using.

I’m not happy with this!!!  In every TV program and movie ,from  Lost in Space (“Danger Will Robinson”) to Star Wars, these Robots were ready to help their fellow man, right out the box.   My rug is filthy and I have wait another day, to become a member of the next society.

On the next day, with remote in hand, I fire up my robot.   Its making these cute sounds , its brushes come out and its party time for 53 seconds.   Its being held hostage by my  extra extra EXTRA large pair of Fruit of the Looms.    Once again, I’m disappointed.  You mean I have to pick up the room so the Robot can do its job?

Day, three, I pick up everything so the Robot can vacuum freely about the house.   The Robot is bumping into everything and then changes direction.   I don’t remember that in the You Tube videos.  Then suddenly I don’t hear anything..  Its in the bathroom, trapped by a pair of Fruit of the Looms,  hastily thrown in the bathroom.   Why was it in the bathroom? that wasn’t in the contract.

The instruction manual says,I need double sided tape to put down these strips to restrict the Robot from going into different rooms and areas.    OKAY,  this was shown in the commercials never!

The strips are thick .

This thing that was gonna make my life easier has made my life complicated.  This little bitch gets trapped in closets.  Held hostage by mops, bags, tide pods…………..

Again, I envisioned, this revolutionary device to change my humdrum life.  I would become a man of leisure.

Instead, I have to pick, up, put away. Close doors. and the chamber that holds dirt is very small and with my robot you must open the chamber slowly or risk a dust explosion.

I’m sure my upright Eureka is having a laugh at my expense.  The Eureka is much faster and I can vacuum around those Fruit of the Looms.

Last week, I came home and the Robot was missing as were my spare keys.   I looked under furniture and inside my hampers…nothing.    Perhaps, I’ve been a bit harsh with the Robot.   It didn’t mislead me, the commercials did.  Its slow, but it eventually gets the job done.

After a three day search, I found it hiding on the lower shelf of my bookcase.  How it got there is beyond me.  AND my spare keys were on the shelf above it.

I’m slowly adjusting to my robot   I recently praised it for an excellent job on the kitchen floor, it was flawless.  However, I’ve noticed its been a bit more aggressive as it crashes into things, including me

After watching Will Smith’s I-Robot , I think I need to buy a gun






Published by CityFella

Big city fella, Born and Raised in the San Francisco Bay Area. Lived in New York (a part time New Yorker) for three years . I have lived in the Sacramento area since 1993. When I first moved here, I hated it. Initially found the city too conservative for my tastes. A great place to raise children however too few options for adults . The city has grown up, there is much to do here. The city suffers from low self esteem in my opinion, locals have few positive words to say about their hometown. visitors and transplants are amazed at what they find here. From, the grand old homes in Alkali Flats, and the huge trees in midtown, there are many surprises in Sacramento. Theater is alive is this area . And finally ,there is a nightlife... In.downtown midtown, for the young and not so young. My Criticism is with local government. There is a shortage of visionaries in city hall. Sacramento has long relied on the state, feds and real estate for revenue. Like many cities in America,Downtown Sacramento was the hub of activity in the area. as the population moved to the suburbs and retail followed. The city has spent millions to revive downtown. Today less than ten thousand people live downtown. No one at city hall could connect the dots. Population-Retail. Business says Sacramento is challenging and many corporations have chosen to set up operations outside the cities limits. There is vision in the burbs. Sacramento has bones, there are many good pieces here, leaders seem unable or unwilling to put those pieces together into. Rant aside, I love it here. From the trees to the rivers. But its the people here that move me. Sacramento is one of the most integrated cities in America. I find I'm welcome everywhere. The spices work in this city of nearly 500,000 and for the most part these spices blend well together. From Ukrainians to Hispanics and a sizable gay community, all the spices seem to work well here. I frequently travel and occasionally I will venture into a city with huge racial borders, where its unsafe to visit after certain hours. I haven't found it here. I cant imagine living in a community where there is one hue or one spice. I love the big trees, Temple Coffee House, the Alhambra Safeway, Zelda's Pizza, Bicyclist in Midtown, The Mother Lode Saloon, Crest Theater, and the Rivers. I could go on and I might. Sacramento is home.

2 thoughts on “My I-Robot Tried to Escape

  1. Ha! Well friend unfortunately the one in the pic isn’t an I robot and you have to pay to play. My top of the line model you teach it where to go by sending it out on runs where you have the doors closed and such and it learns. You watch the map fill in.. no double tape.. it doesn’t bump n grind but gently .. and yeah I still have to pick up my little pairs of Hanes… but it goes out and does a really nice job of sweeping my house.. and it even empties itself when it’s done.. the cat? Well he does hiss at it when it follows him ..


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