Turkey on Turkey Day? No Thanks! “Sorry not Sorry”

Tomorrow, there will be complete meltdowns, screaming, shouting and possibly fighting all over America  The Holiday season is perfect, for year long or permanent resentments because you chose to have Thanksgiving with the in laws or another family.   Someone may resent your absence . The fact that you couldn’t afford the flight this year is unimportant. Its Thanksgiving!

In some families, the Traditional dinner is paramount.   The menu and the preparation is the same year after year.  In a black family, in addition to Turkey and stuffing are greens beans, sweet potato pie,   and other desserts. (but don’t get crazy)

She was one of six girls.  For Thanksgiving she made Brazilian Fried greens with sweet onions, tomato and peppers.  It is absolutely delicious.  However this deviation from the traditional preparation caused a major revolt in her family and her aunt tossed the greens into the garbage without trying them, hurting her feelings.  Dinner was delayed as some of the  women went out on Thanksgiving day and bought new greens.  Many of her family members made fun of her throughout the day in front of her husband and children, she never returned to any family function.

The Thanks in Giving!

Bucking Tradition is dangerous in some families.  If you don’t like Turkey or simply would like a change in the menu, buckle up!  Prepare to be interrogated by everyone including the pets.  Everyone eats Turkey on thanksgiving so whats wrong with you!   Are you a communist or part of some freeky cult?   Its like being a Vegan at a barbecue.  Your black!  Black people eat meat!   Eyes following you where ever you go .   “What’s wrong with him!”

Where is the Thanks in Giving!  Many people, families only get together during holidays.   Is it about the food or the gathering?  Most people under 25 would be fine with a pizza or an burger. One of my families best Thanksgiving experiences was at a random Burger King on I-5 on route to Central California.  We all wore those silly King hats and ordered until everyone was full.  The evening ended with a cold french fry fight.

TRADITION: Tonight I know a family who will spend the entire night making Tamales. Last Thanksgiving, a Ukrainian family shared fish with me.  Some are barbecuing a Turkey, and instead of stuffing/dressing they are serving beans.  AND NO ONE DIED!

Some families rotate locations during the holidays, another home can create their own menu during the holidays.

With days un-promised. I’m there for the gathering.  If your Thanksgiving  dinner is a peanut butter sandwich. thank you for sharing it with me.    I know many people in my neighborhood who would be grateful to have THAT sandwich.

 I am thankful,  We are blessed to spend another holiday together.


This year I will be working on Turkey day.  And while  I cant participate in the gatherings. My friends are making sure I wont go without.  One friend is making a large Porterhouse Steak. with fried onions.  Another friend is dropping off a smaller version of her award winning Turkey pie. Dessert will be refrigerated Toll House Cookies.


Through the years, we have invited friends who live alone who might feel out of place at a family gathering to another venue. A movie or walk.  We often join another friend who’s family tradition is distributing food to the needy,

If your focus is the dinner and where people bringing of sitting, you might be missing the meaning of the holiday.

I refuse to get caught up in the traditions of the holiday.  I avoid over complicated joyless households where how to be is more important then simply kicking back and enjoying the day and each other.  Sorry not Sorry.

Live each minute as if it was your last on earth