Godzilla taking Uber in Sacramento

Image result for godzilla

My car was totaled last April. Living downtown, I discovered not having a car  wasn’t the end of the world. I’m near transit. I take Uber, Lyft nearly day.  There are many Gig ride shares available, with a phone app I can grab an electric car within blocks 24/7.  Life is good.

I take Uber and Lyft to work every day its a 10 minute ride from home.

I’m a BIG guy. 6.4 368 pounds fully clothes ( 367 in a tank top) I have ginormous  feet.  Larger than Bozo the clown.

Everyday regular sized folk call ride share every day in Sactown.

Occasionally the ride share driver encounter extra large passengers.  Like most single passengers I order the cheapest ride.

With Lyft Uber, life is like a box of Russell Stovers Chocolates. Your never sure what of who your gonna get. The driver could be old and stale and the next one moist.  Most drivers have been terrific. Then there the others, drivers who after missing the freeway exit, stops on the freeway and backs up ON THE FREEWAY!!  OR the driver who Really, Really likes your company, purposely avoiding  Google Maps and wants to take you on a MAGIC Journey-always when your running late.

The heavy smokers and while their not smoking as they drive, you exit their car smelling like a pack of Camels

One man couldn’t see me under a bright light. There I was standing in the road, with the driver after running over my feet everytime he passed.   I figured with the violent rocking of his car each time  he ran over my feet, he would notice me.  But no..  I watched him drive pass me and a make a u-turn. Late for work, I considered jumping on the car.  But the last time I did that, I bent the car so..  My driver was high on something.  He blamed Google maps. Entering the car, he cranked up some real vintage Led Zeppelin ,the high volume distracted me from his weaving.   As I exited his car  he had a smile I had no hearing.

Most of my issues  have to do with the size of  the cars.   From a distance, I look like a normal size guy.   However, the closer the driver gets the bigger I become.  When your driving a super small car like a Honda Fit.   I look like Godzilla.  Suddenly the Honda Fit owner is thrusted into a japanese movie.  Every step I take toward the car , the car and the village shakes.  I’m often greeted with nervous smiles.  I enter the car with a series of Steps.   Step one: Fully recline the seat.  Step Two: Slide my sizeable azz in.  (I often tell the drivers to look away) Step Three: The Feet, this is the most challenging . Once my face is smushed against the windshield ,were ready to go.  (the seatbelt isn’t happening) .  Exiting the roomy Fit requires the five moves, the trickiest moves is extracting my feet.  Sometimes it take a moment for the owner to get past the experience.  The driver who dropped me off last night is still parked out front this morning.  Engine running, foot on brake, hands of steering wheel.