It’s always difficult to know what’s acceptable to wear once you hit middle age, but a survey of 2,000 men has resulted in a definitive list of clothing to give up past 40.
Among the most offensive items in the top 20 list are hoodies, beanie hats, Speedos, parkas and flip flops, as well as generally deplorable garments such as novelty ties and oversized suits.
“It seems there comes a time for most men when they outgrow their current style but have no clue how to adapt their look for a new stage in their lives,” said John Griffiths, marketing director of Spaceslide, who commissioned the research.
Results of the research will come as a wake-up call to many celebrities, who tend to cling to youth with a tighter grip than most, but how many of the now-contraband items are you guilty of wearing?
Above, tracksuits More difficult news from the electorate for Labour: shell suits, or tracksuits of any variety, are the clobber of a young man.
The fur-lined jackets, made famous by former Oasis wailer Liam Gallagher, are officially a No.
ITV’s dress-code denier-in-chief Robert Peston won’t listen, though.
Sir Eric Pickles’ endorsement for older men everywhere could do nothing to save them.
We can only assume Donald Trump is to blame for this
Thongs, jandals – whatever you call them, don’t get involved after 40.
Curiously, Jude Law is here wearing four items now declared void for the middle-aged man: tracksuit bottoms, a singlet, flip flops and a beanie hat. Good effort.
Restricted by the dullness of most suits, many men try to show a touch of personality through their necktie. Don’t, is the word.
Are you a) a professional footballer b) a child c) Snoop Dogg attempting to forge a connection with a city you have never heard of?
If your answer is d) none of the above, take it off.
Even Superman doesn’t wear them these days. That should be a sign for you.
Admittedly, these must literally be quite hard to get out of, but even Russell Brand, who turns 41 in June, must unpeel himself from the cow-skin leggings.
Gilet: the worst a man can get. Just ask Tim Sherwood.
At some point, all middle-aged men consider a leather jacket. Leave it to motorcyclists and temporary Greek finance ministers, though.
They might be practical little things to keep your traveler’s cheques in when you’re experiencing the wonder of a new city, but you also look terrible.
N.B. Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson wasn’t anywhere near 40 when this was taken, but any excuse to roll it out again…
“Da Ya Think I’m Sexy?” asked Rod Stewart, famously. On this evidence, no.
Take heed, gentlemen.
44-year-old Justin Theroux may pull off the drainpipe look, but most end up looking like a middle-aged lollipop.
There’s a reason Claudia Schiffer looks embarrassed to be stood next to Brad Pitt here, and it isn’t just the beard.