What happened to the nice, kind, gentle people of yor?
I can be discrete. Sir your dragging six miles of toliet paper. None of the BS filming an embarrassing moment for thousands of strangers on Tik Tok to enjoy.
When I see a man or women exposed I will discretely tell them. Wouldn’t you want someone to tell you?
Here is my story. It’s more than a couple of decades old. I’m a speaker at a convention. Back stage there are many people in motion. Minutes before I was due to speak. I unzipped my pants and smoothed out my shirt.
I walked by several familar faces. Not stage hands and directors, but people who knew me by my full name.
I overheard someone say it was full house and there were many people standing.
Just look down and read until your comfortable enough to look out. I told myself. The podium was plexiglass my name was called, the introduction was brief. I stood straight up as I walked across the stage. I made the mistake of looking out to a sea of people. Suddenly, a real bad case of the nerves. I squeezed both the sides of the podium and said “good morning” It was 7:30pm. ” Just testing you I said” Enough people laughed to calm me.
The first page was perfect. I hit my points perfectly. Somewhere on the final page, I noticed this older lady in a shiny yellow dress. She was taking her two fingers and moving them from left to right. She kept making the same motions, over and over and over. 4000 people and I couldn’t shake her glance and stumbled on the very last paragraph.
Everything, comes to end. Was I that boring? I walked off the stage disappointed. How could I let one person get to me? I tripped over something, I don’t know what but it forced me to look down. My zipper was fully down and it much worst then I could ever imagine. My shirt was sticking out of my pants And skin was on display.
Shock! Horror! Good thing I was wearing my trusty J.C. Penny’s briefs. No black man magic.
Pissed!! I retire to my hotel room. I ordered room service. I never order room service, I’m too cheap. But I hate humanity! All those people. Some who knew my name. My white shirt clearly sticking out from my pants. No one said “hey buddy” If it were two decades later. I might have been a You Tube sensation.
I woke up to the local news and a calmer. I no longer wanted the people behind the stage to die in a fiery explosion. While it was embarrassing, no one saw big Johnny and I did have one friend, that lady in the yellow dress.
I didn’t understand at the time. She wasn’t heckling me or being a jerk. She was telling me to zip my pants.
CityFella
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