I have always found confidence sexy. The person who is okay with what they see in the other side of the mirror. This person isn’t a flawless beauty, with a extraordinary body, just a person who like who they are.
There was a time, plastic surgery was for the rich and famous. Today, plastic surgery is front and center, there are billboard and TV ads with before and after photos. For some young women in music, its almost a right of passage. Young performers getting the :FULL SHABANG” Breast, Lips, Buttocks, and hair weaves. Celebrities, Entertainers with unatually white teeth. Some believe, Cosmetic Surgery will make you more popular, more acceptable ,more youthful and overall a better person.
Twenty years ago, no one I knew had surgery and if they did they didn’t talk about it. Today, there are botox parties here in Sacratomatovile, a free shot and a business card. People openly talk about having or geting a procedure or “freshened up”. Men getting pecs, liposuction, having minor and major surgery.
For some, plastic surgery is an addiction. With what began as a nose job or breast augmentation and that’s where it would end. Today, there are teenagers who want to emulate their favorite artist, others feeling they don’t measure up to the images seen on TV or on social media. .
I recently saw two young girls at the airport, about 15-16, they dressed older than their age, very sexual. The two dressed alike, and its clear that they had a LOT of work done, lips, breast, buttocks unfortunately the work didn’t look natural and I wondered to myself, what parent would allow them to do this as such a young age and then I saw a disaster of a women, with giant glossy red lips. and over sized breast in a short skirt and platinum blonde hair. Turns out the girls were sisters and she was their mother.
I can’t imagine indulging,or allowing youngster to go under the knife unless it was for a correction. As the parent, my role is to instill confidence and teaching them they are fine as they are.
A BIG Girl
Many years ago, I worked with a young lady, who was not the person you would see in fashion magazines. Like a lot of young women, she bought Cosmo, Glamour and fashion magazines marketed to young women. She carried a stack a magazines to work everyday and read them during downtime. She was a large stylish young woman. Her makeup was on point as were her clothes. Her hair color was from a bottle and was well kept. In her absence, the other women would talk about her weight and criticize her makeup .
Unlike her co-workers, this large woman, dated every weekend. Born and raised in Wisconsin, all the women in her family are large and sucessful. Fearless, she always wanted to live in San Francisco, at 22 she moved to city. She said, she got the second job she applied for. Before moving to the city, she researched the different neighborhoods and the best places to meet men. She believed the women in San Francisco,were mean and ‘stuck up” there weren’t many big girls like her. Even the women, at the Macy’s makeup counter were rude and stuck up.
I liked her confidence, and I wasn’t alone. In the three years I worked with her, she told me of her breakups and bad dates and her dreams of moving to Paris. From what I could see, while some women was intimidated by her, a lot of men found her self confidence attractive.
We both moved on to other jobs and I moved to Sacramento. We reconnected on Facebook. Twenty years have passed. She married an executive, who just happened to work for Air France and while she didn’t move to Paris, she was there frequently. They have two sons.
Older, she looks the same with one exception she is no longer blonde, she has reddish hair today. The marriage didn’t survive. She now lives in Connecticut , in her fifties,she continues to date, she tells me she dated a black man from Senegal.
The women in her family instilled confidence in her at an early age and something tells me, she has instilled that confidence in her sons.
Confidence, that says, I am fine just as I am. Yes, I could/should,lose/gain, weight. I should exersize more to tone my body. But at this moment I’m okay.
The Other Side of the Mirror
The mirror has two sides. The external and then the internal. We see the external that confirms what we see. The internal tells us were okay or were flawed.
Sometimes ,the other side of the mirror convinces us that we need a surgical procedure to make us feel better about our apperance. However, many questions arries when one procedure turns into several. What or whom are you try to emunlate? Is their quest perfection?
As human beings, we are our own worst critics. We zero in on what we believe is our flaws. In my twenties, I didn’t like what I saw in the mirror. My nose, my lips, hair and many flaws in my body. I would kill to have that face, body and hair, today. As we grow older, most of are content with what we see in the mirror.
Externally, some believe beauty equals, acceptence and happiness. What is often resides on the other side of the mirror, is sadness, as perfection is not the cure for insecurity, the cosmetic surgery doesnt fix the insides, it is unable to repair relationship or make you popular. Every Kardashian have divorced.A genuine beauty cant compete with a music video, a professional make up artist, or a magazine cover.
A good friend is having a chin lift, its something that has bothered her for years. Her sister suggested she have a full face lift, she said no, she earned every wrinkle on her face,