A Green Purse full of Lies

Dark GREEN OVERSIZE SHOPPER Bag Green Leather Shoulder Bag | Etsy

Her intro was loud… “Holy Shit its fuckin crowded in here” as she pushed the door open with her large green purse . The location was a smallish camera shop. There were five people in the store. I’m there with a friend, who has been a customer for more than twenty years. I know nothing about cameras, my last camera was a Kodak, it killed me when it stopped working a few years ago.

The store is popular with professional photographers. One the customers had questions about a particular lens he purchased from the store. “Oh my god its hot in here! said green purse- can someone turn up the AC, I’m dying in here!” My friend was third in line. Everytime, anyone had more than two questions, green purse would say, “Oh my god” while she annoyed the customers, the proprietor focused on the person he was talkin to.

It was my friends turn, and the owner went to the rear of the store and then made a phone call. “I’m sorry, your lens isn’t here, but it should be here in 45 minutes, I very sorry,(reaching in his pocket) if you like, there is a sandwich shop across the street, go and get you something on me” Do you want anything?, my freinds asked me (yes, get him a sandwich too) no but bring me back a coke, I’ll wait here.

The other transactions we quick, people either dropping off or picking up some equipment. Two other people entered the store, and it was green purses turn. She was there picking up a lot of equipment. It’s forty one ‘O’ three the owner said. I sat up, and said to myself. Damm this ani’t Target! Green purse, reached into her purse and gave him a credit card and your ID he asked ? “Why do you need an ID? green purse asked?” We require an ID on all credit card purchases. okay she said! “But no one ever asked me for my ID here before” The owner was silent. My friend, returned with his sandwich, and hands me the bottle of coke as he sits down. My knee taps his to let him know there is a show! He quizzically looks at me as he unwraps his sandwich, I tap my leg to indicate the show was front of him!

Green purse, was makng a production of emptying out her purse, all over the counter. The giant purse had everying, water bottles, tampons, candy bars, Lifesavers, cookies, People Magazines and MORE….. She WAS being too much! I’ve worked with the public long enough to know, when someone is doing-being too much! It’s usually a delay tactic just before a sad tale.

“Well thats everything! I dont have my wallet! Your not gonna make me go home to get it? A women and a young man enters the store with equipment. In my mind, I know its my friends equipment. But we are NOT leaving. We have to see how this ends!!!!

I didn’t fully get where she said she lived, it was some town in El Dorado Country, “YOUR GONNA MAKE ME DRIVE ALL THE WAY FOR SOME ID? Yes, he said! THIS IS FUCKED UP! NOBODY, EVER ASK FOR ID, THIS IS SOME BULLSHIT!! ( I looked over at my friend who was fully invested in the drama.) The woman, who brought the equipment in the store was standing in the corner. Green purse, with a one arm motion attempted to sweep everything in her purse. I was an “EPIC FAIL” most of her things hit the floor, and with it she screamed! The young man, came out and tried to help her, but green purse waved him away, as tears formed in her eyes. She says, SHIT! as she leaves the store!

The owner apologizes to everyone in the store and he and the women who brought the equipment into the store stepped in the back. One of the waiting customers said “whoo, she was something!” The owner came back and said, this in the second time I’ve apologized to you today, we didn’t pick up (some model number) I’m sending my son, it will be here in 15 minutes, please-I’m so sorry and you and your friend have been so patient. He apolgizes to the other customers who were in store.

A big black Ram truck abrubtly stops in front of the store. I’ts green purse, she is talking loudly to someone on her cell phone, which continued as she re-entered the store. JUST COME NOW!!!

The women comes out of the back and asked green purse could she help her. WHO ARE YOU? Green purse screamed! I am his wife, we own the store. Well can you bring my things out, my husband who is very busy on a job site is coming down with his “ID” so he can pay for it! So can you bring it out ,so we can just pay for it and go! THIS IS BULLSHIT!

Damm! Damm! Damm!

Their son arrives with the missing lens. I will be right with you, the owner says to my friend. In my mind, I’m saying take all the time you need with your customer. A man in a Ford pickup, pulls up behind green purse truck , she meets him at the door. He’s very angry and the owners wife comes out to take care of him, but he waves her on and says he wants to speak to the MAN! Green purse tells him to just calm down and then he starts screaming! YOU TOLD MY WIFE YOU WOULD HAVE HER ARRESTED AND SHE MIGHT HAVE STOLEN CREDIT CARD! WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU! SO YOU CALL THE POLICE ON EVERYBODY WHO DOESN’T HAVE AN ID! FUCKING BULLSHIT! HURRY UP, LETS GO!

The owners son and his wife stood on either side of him, and his wife interrupted her husband before he spoke and said, “Your wife lied to you! We were all here and my husband said she would need an id, that’all. We have two signs saying that one on the door and the other right here, she pointed. Green purse was quiet. “FORTY ONE ‘O’THREE the owners wife”told green purse’s husband. “Can I split it up on two cards?” yes, may I have your ID! The owners wife, verified the equipment with green purse’s husband and their son, reviewed the store policy, regarding returns with green purse and asked her to sign a slip. The couple was quiet as they left the store.

It was like a giant exhale as they left the store. The owners wife, walked around the counter with her arms folded looking at the couple as they drove away. The wife maybe small, but she is mighty,and no one to be played with! Another apology from the owner, who didn’t ask for a credit card from my friend.

The owners son, insisted on loading the lenses to the backseat of my friends truck. I looked at him, and apolgized insisting he stay and watch the show. I told him, I’m addicted to Reality TV and I love seeing it live. He said, as a wedding photographer for over four decades, his life is Reality TV.