A man and a Girdle “A one day affair”

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Its human nature to compare ourselves to others.  You look at your face or your body and say to yourself, if only.   We spend time looking at flaws others aren’t aware of, and yet we sometimes become so obssessed with our flaws, we are unable to maintain relationships, forgetting that the other person has eyes. 

In the mid seventies, average people weren’t going under the knife.   Today with the net, more people than ever are having some body augmentation.  Some young women are going under the knife, often comparing themselves to a celebrity, who has poor body image.

Wanting a nose like some random music star or the breast of someone else.  When I watch shows like “Love and Hip Hop”, a lot of women look as if they were manufactured from the same factory with unnatural looking, faces, breasts lips and asses with long hair from India, China, and Tulsa.

In the quest for perceived beauty, many young women have been permanently disfigured, others have died

Its an obsession for some female celebrities.  So much alteration that they are unrecognizable.   One wonders, where is the friend that says, you are perfect as you are?

Its not just the women, men are having tummy tucks, pec implants, and some of these men are pulled so tight that one questions if they can open their mouths.  I recently saw a picture of Barry Manilow and wonders what does he see? 

Its not over, after one procedure, it requires maintenance as implants shift over time and with time replacements are necessary.

Its refreshing, to see young performers not bowing under the pressure.   Streisand, could have removed the bump, but would she have lost Streisand?  Midler, and other female legends ,stood their ground and we are better for it.

In my late teens and early twenties,  I didn’t like the condition of my skin and that small hump called a belly.   Of course today, I would kill………. Today, my hump can be seen from forty thousand feet.

At that time of my life. I wasn’t hearing  your skin would clear up and if you changed you diet……….. It was about today!

As a youngster,I always shopped in the husky department. While there has always been a women’s department.  The department stores didn’t have big and tall departments for men.  Montgomery Wards and Sears had a big and tall sections in their catalogs and then there were these specialty big and tall catalogs, and stores that offered  more fashionable clothes for men  than Sears and Montgomery Wards. 

In one of the catalogs, there was a men’s body shaper a term for girdle. I had seen these before and never really considered buying one,

But there was some special event and every time I looked at myself, I saw that hump. Through the years I was quite skillful and could hold my stomach in and could hold my stomach in for hours at a time.

But holding my stomach and eating might be challenging.  For seventeen dollars, I could buy a body shaping device that will flatten my tummy and manage any love handles I might have.   There were many images of happy men wearing these body shapers and there were a couple of testimonials on how their lives had changed as a result of these body shapers.

I received mine in a week.  I opened the package and put it in the drawer,  Unlike the men in the catalog, I hadn’t planned to wear mine every day, just for the event.

New clothes, Demin bell bottoms, stripped vest and a sky blue turtleneck.   I’m sure there were instruction with the body shaper, but how difficult could it be?

It was a one piece, from the neck to the crotch, no zippers or snaps.   The fabric was like nothing I had ever experienced, strong with very little give.   

It took a while, but once it was on, it was as advertised.  My hump disappeared, there weren’t any lumps or bumps anywhere, I was absolutely stunning and this is before I put my clothes on.   Maybe, I will wear this everyday, I thought to myself.

And I was stunning, a couple people commented on my weight loss, of course I hadn’t lost any weight and they didn’t need to know that..     I walked through the large crowd of people, making my hello’s, even saying hellos to compete strangers,

Suddenly, my right thigh was burning near the crotch..  I walked carefully to the men’s room and went to the stall to adjust my shaper, somehow, it shifted, I was able to adjust the leg area with my fingers, but the thigh was sore.

Dinner was late, people were mumbling and grumbling, I didn’t care I was stunning.

I sat down with a group of friends, evening sitting down, my stomach was completely flat.   OMG, I was in heaven.  

Heaven lasted five minutes, suddenly my boys started screaming, my testicals were NOT happy, the blood supply had stopped.  Moving was painful, getting up was worse!  I tried walking cool, but this was a new pain, someone had taken a vise and was squeezing my boys as hard as they could.   I did my best to conceal the tears and pain. the room was huge, I couldn’t run and terror replaced stunning. Never had I experienced such pain. 

I didn’t care who was in the men’s room, I had to save my boys.  I pushed my pants down and attempted to reach inside the shaper, no go!     With my pants down, I walked into a stall, and pulled on the shaper, this helped one of my boys but the other was screaming.  From the stall, I asked if anyone had a knife?   No one responded.   In retrospect, that was a good, thing, I think I might have slashed my boys in my state of mine.

In the stall, I am dancing!  When your in pain, you just don’t give a fuck!  Desperate, I reached into my pocked and took out my keys.  This tricky while your dancing, I found the sharpest key and twisted the key back and forth until I was able to make a small hole. Then I took another key and sawed, until my boys were free.    The movement made the areas around the legs tighter, so more sawing on each leg.

In the mirror, I could see my eyes were red.  I adjusted, the shaper and returned to the main hall, where everyone was having dinner.

Where were you? Is everything alright?

Everything wasn’t, as I sat, the shaper was shifting on its own. I could feel it giving, slowly disintegrating.   I didn’t hear conversations, because the end was near.   But what did the end look like, that was my biggest concern?

Cinderella, didn’t make it home intact.

What was that my fate? 

The feeling was odd, the shaper  was slowly loosing upwards.

I couldn’t focus. People at the table could sense something was wrong.  Are you alright? Your very quiet.  Then I thought about Cinderella, this could be the image they remember big blobs of fat exploding at the table!    I said, I wasn’t feeling well and needed to get home.   A few people offered to drive my home.    I didn’t need any witnesses just in case the shaper gave way.


Before I arrived home, the hump was back.  I had new humps and bumps from where I tore into the shaper. At home I hurriedly took off my clothes, the shaper was indeed disintegrating.  I took it off and there was a sharp musty Oder. My freed boys were painful at the touch, my thighs had two red lines. Sitting was painful, so I thought I would take a bath.

After the bath, I took a nap. When I woke up, I noticed the box the shaper came in on the floor and picked up and read the instructions.  In the instructions’,  It said to apply a power like baby power over the torso, ( ahh, the musty smell) its suggested a liberal vaseline in the crotch area. (Ahhh)  This was good and valuable information, but I’m one and done. That was decades ago, I will never forget the pain my boys experienced and I’m quite fond of my boys, we’ve been together forever and I wanna keep it that way. ever .