Throwback Thursday 10-4-2013: When the Breath is beyond bad….MURDER BREATH!!!!!

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 Q.  What is Murder Breath?   

  A. Breath is so bad, Murder as it the only solution.! 

By CityFella

Life happen, every now we have bad breath, there are many causes,  Food, dental hygiene etc.

You can blow into your hands and smell and all seems minty fresh  but trust me,, the world knows .

If you work with the public, you know the tricks…   Holding your breath smile, slowly backing away. The hurried ” Thank You”

But what if your in tight quarters, or with an family member or a client.  They’re remedies , however a large segment of the population who doesn’t know that their breath is bad.   Bad breath is one of those issues that make people uncomfortable.   Some people hint, offer gum or mints.

Then there is a segment in denial, they insist they can tell when their breath is bad.

There are levels of bad breath….  Tolerable, mildly offensive, Woo Boy ( didn’t see that coming) and the worst. Murder Breath.   A Breath so bad, so offensive, that you instantly step or jump back   Breath powerful enough the change the weather pattern.  Breath that can reverse a permanent, or cause a shut in to leave .

Real Stories-Real People  MURDER BREATH


A nice man, gentle soul, wouldn’t squish a fly.   When they see his car, the office springs into action, windows open (even when there is snow on he ground).  Every one has their own can of  glade. Employees have quit.  .  He can de-curl hair with a hello.  He breath causes coughing in the office.   Initially, they offered after dinner mints but they had no effect, then peppermint Life Savers, they didn’t save anyone.   Finally, they  bought industrial strength Altoids.  Barely a dent. Many of the staffers are nauseous by the time he leaves the office.   His account specialist survives by breathing into a  handkerchief sprayed mouthwash.

Tip:   if you don’t have it in you to speak up.  Bring a toddler.  They can get away with murder.

Mommy, that mans breath is BAD, real BAD.    Mommy,, I can hardly breathe! 

Falling to the floor, covering his mouth!


in San Francisco visiting a friend on the 42nd floor.  There was one man in the elevator as I stepped in.   The door closed.   Suddenly, the air was  burning my nose.  OMG  murder breath and I’m trapped.  The indicator read X,.     I tried to fart to break the killer smell.    I didn’t know him and wasn’t likely to see him again in life so I turned and faced the wall of the elevator with finger under nose.   As I turned to see indicator light, he looked at me with a raised eyebrow.  in my head I said fuck you.  34th floor, I was leaving didn’t care, I needed out FREEDOM  We stepped out together, “oh hell no” I mumbled to myself and jumped back on the elevator.   That was stupid, the Oder was still in the elevator.  My friend said he could smell the oder on my clothes.

Tip:  The dollar stores often sell breath sprays.   Keep them in your jacket or wallet.

 Desperate times, desperate measures if your trapped.  Pull out the spray, over spray your mouth then past to spray to the offender 

The Road Trip

If you stuck in a car with someone with Murder Breath, I can almost guarantee it will not be on a spring day .  On a road trip from San Francisco to Reno.  She was the last person picked up on and unseasonably warm day in San Francisco. Windows up A/C on, the someone offered her  gum.    She declined, every one in the car sighed.  Outboard passengers cracked their windows open and like new pups, put their noses in the crack on the window.    The passenger in the middle seat suggested the driver turned off the AC and drove with the windows down.    At a restroom break  at an Am/pm four people met by the motor oil.  Something had to be done.  One person said she couldn’t go on. They agreed  to remove the knife and confront the offender.       The spokesperson froze, and the someone from the group,blurted out.  Hey, your breath is bad ,real bad.!  It’s disgusting !    The offender said, I was worried about that.  Last night my brother was over and we had some venison  and I hadn’t had time to brush my teeth.  Okay, sorry.   The ladies went into Am/pm and spent $20  on dental floss, mouthwash, toothpaste and toothbrushes.   The weekend was great.

What about your friend’s ?

Times were tough, cleaning wasn’t in the budget.  I bought extra mouthwash from the dollar store and I would floss.  One day a good friend said, we love you but you are killing us, whats going on with your dental hygiene?   My friends took me to their dentist for for some deep cleaning.  I think the dentist used chlorine bleach to disinfect my mouth.   I couldn’t taste anything for days and I lost 3 pounds..

 If your friends, say something about your breath, try not to be offended.  Most of our friends have our backs.