Ask the Rodfather: When your looking for a man or a woman dont choose a Hoopty

Image result for hoopty cars

What is a Hoopty?

A decrepit car is one that is often old and damaged and is in a barely functional state. Numerous slang terms are used to describe such cars, which vary by country and region, including jalopy and banger. Age, neglect and damage tend to increase the expense of maintaining a vehicle.

More often than not, it is the woman who will bring a “barely functional” man into her life with the goal of restoration. Using her personal finances to restore a man to a point where he is functional. During this restoration period, he may promise to emotionally reimburse her for her time and money ,but it is rare.

This is where things get tricky. He means appreciation. for her generosity. She HEARS love, and a relationship. When it becomes clear, he doesn’t want to be in a relationship, she is often hurt and resentful. This manifests into extended conversations as hurt becomes anger. Most men, struggle with extended conversations, they prefer a beginning, an solution or understanding, an ending with a period. When faced with anger during the early stages of a friendship/relationship many men will leave. In time, another women or man will benefit from your efforts .

Mirror Mirror

Before you begin this restoration, look in the mirror and ask yourself? Am I doing this to help him or am I doing this so he might love and appreciate me?

Some men, but usually women, who will restore a hoopty hoping for love. “Its a case of “I’m doing all this for you-you have to love me” An honest man or woman, would say, “I appreciate your intentions, I’m happy as I am”

Some one once said ” If you start off with a game, your likely to get played”

If you need to fix a potential mate, they are not for you.

If you have a history, of repairing people. Stop dating until you learn why you can’t simply find someone who doesn’t need repairing,

“I’m broke down on the net and can use a little help”

Online, there are people (perpetrators ) who will ask a virtual stranger for money. You may feel close to this person because you have shared personal information about your life. There are people online who has made a career out of manipulating people online. Individuals with dark hearts who often share false stories online to get money from you. Many have catastrophic emergencies and no one in the world can or will help them.

Before you reach for your credit or debit card ask yourself this question?

Why me,? Most of us have friends and family members that we can call on in an emergency. So why would you ask a virtual stranger for money, who lives hundreds, or thousand miles away.?

If an individual, cant borrow from friends and family, it usually means they have a history, of not repaying their loans.

At anytime during the first few years of a relationship, if he or she suggests or give you an ultimatum,” if you don’t help them, then you don’t love them or that what people in a relationship do? It won’t end there!

Early on, if one party is doing all the heavy lifting in the relationship, this person will become resentful. Can you come to him during a financial emergency?

These are warning signs in the early stages of the relationship. In an ideal relationship, you want an equal partner. A relationship where you help each other. What you want to avoid is creating a dependent. Your intentions were from a good place, however it has become the norm in your relationship.

Please understand, if your a longer term relationship , three years or longer , he or she may be worth the risk. As long as you do not co-sign, open an account for him,( even a cell phone account) open a utility, loan your debit or credit cards. account or rent a car or hotel rooms. add her to your checking or anything that could that would leave you financially vulnerable for years after the relationship ends.

Those types of financial commitments are reserved for weddings, not engagements.


If you the type of person that likes helping people, changing their lives. There are many in your community. If you don’t know where to start, call the nearest March of Dimes, they are often a great resource for volunteer groups in your area.

If your ultimate goal is love. Know that your worthy of a fully assembled mate. Worthy of sharing your throne with another King or Queen.

Not someone who wants to see how the newly refurbished version of him or her will fare on the market after she has lost weight or has had a make over.

At the very minimum, you are worthy of an equal partner, a person who brings you joy today and beyond

The Rodfather916

The Rodfather916 has a YouTube, Instagram and can be found on I-tunes