Race #606: Don’t say that, try this!

CityFella,

Eliminate the words they and them and any sentence that begins with “Why are you people ?”when talking to someone from the LGBTQ community or someone of a different hue or religion.

The reality is, no group is of one mind.

You and your siblings may share the same blood lines and have nothing in common. Many groups find they and then and questions begining with “you people” insulting. 

It’s difficult for conversation to recover from, they and them or “You people”. For some these are triggers.  Leaving some to believe, that you are racist!

If your in a large group, if you use they, them. Those people may assume your racists.  Even if everyone is of the same hue as you.

Tone is everything, pay close attention to yours and his. Not everyone is comfortable talking about race. Try not to take it personally. Move on to a non-political or controversial topic.

Generalizations are always problematic when you are talking to someone of a different race, background or religion.

Q: Why you people, wear those things?

Try

    I’m sorry for asking, but what is your head dress called, I’ve always wanted to know? ,Thank you

Q: Why to you people, eat with sticks?

Try

I’ve never mastered, chop sticks I’d love to learn some day? Did you learn from your family? Thank you for answering my clumsy question 

Remember you are a stranger with innocent questions. Making that delicate first impression. ,

Limit yourself to one or two questions  No one wants to feel as if they are being probed or interviewed.

While I am very open and try to encourage others to talk about race. I have friends I’ve known for more than thirty years and they are not comfortable talking about race

Mistakes happen,. its human to error, no need to run towards the exits, simply acknowledge it.

Like anything, its practice and patience and try not to take what you’ve learned and assume it applies to everyone of that hue or background. Like your journey, her experience is unique to her.

I believe, what divides us is fear and silence.

I see color, you can’t escape it. What I have is a friend and his color isn’t as important as our friendship.

People make mistakes, we all do, no race is exempt.

CityFella

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Published by CityFella

Moved to the Big Tomata in the nineties from San Francisco. No Suburbs for me with its single colored houses and lawns and the excitement of pulling out my trash can once a week. I'm a CityFella , a part time New Yorker. I'm happiest in the Center City where people the streets and people are alive. I'm still waiting to buy a 34th floor condo somewhere downtown/Midtown with a nightclub. "Hurry I'm old" My politics are somewhere in the middle with a needle that constantly moves. I'm too liberal to be a Republican and too conservative to be a Democrat. Everything interests me . I've come to love Sacratomato, Its a nice town in cheap sensible shoes .