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Adventures in Online Dating 2019A “I wont show anyone”


Dating has always been challenging with one exception, Adam and Eve.    Adam spotted Eve in the Malt shop, she was easy to find. Eve looked at Adam, the first or only boy she has ever seen and said Hi, the rest was biblical.

For the rest of us , its what do I do? how do I do it?  

Online, a Cardigan sweater wont generate many likes or traffic on your site, unless your only wearing a Cardigan

Its the hot pictures, the chiseled man without shirt, or a woman wearing something with little left to the imagination.

Some of us are like SHEEP

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Without rhyme or reason, some of us are like sheep.  “I did it, because other people are doing it”. He has his shirt off and he’s popular, so I’ll try it.  With her breast front and center, that’s what I’m going to do.

Its a form of marketing.   Who are you marketing to? Skin and nudity will generate traffic, question is the person your looking in that group?   If your thinking long term, the person you seek may not be in this group.

If you’ve been online longer than two hours, someone has asked you for a nude picture.

Come on, I want to see what I’m getting?  I wont’ show anyone, I like you.  What are you a prude ? 

Online vets will tell you one or two things will happen:  They will ask you for another picture or completely fall off the planet, to later return as another life form.

What happens to those pictures?

Imagine a piece of paper you’ve discarded.  Some one picks it up, that paper is now his.

Those pictures of your goodies that you entrusted to a complete stranger,belong to him. There are laws that prevent him or her from using the image to extort, and in some states, penalties for posting your image on social media.  However, he can certainly share the picture you gave him with his friends and yours.

   My shirtless likeness ended up on a porn site and on a few altered profiles.

CityFella, what is Sextortion?

Sextortion is defined as blackmail in which sexual information or images are used to extort sexual favors and/or money from the victim.

This online blackmail is often conducted by sophisticated organized criminal networks operating out of business-like locations similar to call centers.  Teenagers often blackmail other teenagers for sexual favors.

There is not one method by which criminal target their victims, many individuals are targeted through websites including social media, dating, webcam or adult pornography sites.     Criminals often target hundreds of individuals around the world simultaneously, in an attempt to increase their chances of finding a victim.

How does it happen?

The blackmailer might assume the identity of an attractive man or woman then, after gaining the victim’s trust, will record footage of the victim in the nude or performing a sexual act.  He then threatens to circulate this footage to the victim’s friends or post it online unless a certain amount of money is paid.

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The drive to find a preferred mate is extremely powerful,” said Lucy Brown, a clinical professor of neurology at Albert Einstein College of Medicine, who studies the brain activity of people in love. “It’s a reflexive urge, like hunger and thirst,” which can cloud judgment and make people less likely to question the motives of an online match.

Moreover, she said, romantic love can produce feelings of euphoria similar to the effects of cocaine or heroin, which explains why otherwise intelligent and accomplished people do irrational things to get a fix. Of course, people have always been fools for love — it’s just that the global reach and altered reality of the Internet increases the risk and can make the emotional and financial damage more severe..”

Click on the link Below for the complete story

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While all police agencies recommend you don’t pay, there are thousands who choose to pay the blackmailer.  For them its  too much at stake career and family.

 

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If you take online pictures using one of these

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you need to read this……

Your wonderful, I can’t live without it-Smartphone has the ability to tell where you are, the location, date and time the picture was taken.

GPS coordinates are stored as “metadata” embedded in the photo files themselves. All you have to do is view the file’s properties and look for it. It’s a bit like the potentially incriminating information that can be stored along with Microsoft Office documents or PDF files

In Windows, all you have to do is right-click a picture file, select “Properties,” and then click the “Details” tab in the properties window. Look for the Latitude and Longitude coordinates under GPS.

In macOS, right-click the image file (or Control+click it), and select “Get Info.” You’ll see the Latitude and Longitude coordinates under the “More Info” section.

Sure, you may be able to see this information with an “EXIF viewer” application, but most operating systems have this feature built in.

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Match the Coordinates to a Location on a Map

These are standard GPS coordinates, so you just need to match them to a location on a map to find where the photo was actually taken. Many mapping services offer this feature—you can plug the coordinates straight into Google Maps, for example. Google offers instructions for properly formatting the coordinates for Google Maps.

Using Google earth, your wonderful smartphone can take me directly to the place where the picture was taken…  The roof top, the cars in the driveway all in wonderful color.

To prevent this from happening.  Learn where your GPS switch is on your phone and make a habit of turning it off.   Not only will it place information in your pictures it can tell others where you are.

Recommendations

Should you choose post any picture on the internet, make sure the GPS switch is off.  If its a nude picture take the picture against a blank wall.   Some people take pictures with other pictures in the background.  “Hey, isn’t that Ryan’s mom in the back ground”   Beware of reelections and mirrors.  Many years ago, a man took a picture of a dining room table and posted it on Craigslist for sale.   In the mirror, was a reflection on him in the nude, taking the picture.

Finally, always be your authentic self.  Take a picture that best represents you.  If your taking a profile picture, you might consider having a good friend take it, someone who knows the real you and can possibly capture the best you.   As for those other pictures, do it if only your comfortable, don’t allow yourself to be pressured by a complete stranger.  Ask yourself, before you upload, would you be fine with friends and family seeing the picture?

CityFella

Next Up:  Adventures on a Online Dating (Stepping up your dating game)

 

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NO Is not acceptable!!



Rebecca Lynn Phelps, 31

He said no on Thanksgiving Day.  Many of us after eating ourselves into a food coma just wants one thing, sleep!   Rebecca Lynn Phelps of New Fort Richie  Florida wasn’t sleepy. In fact, she wants some adult interaction with her boyfriend.  To motivate him, she grabbed his goodies.  But her boo wasn’t in the mood and turned over and went back to sleep. 

Trust me! “No, is not your final answer!

Rebecca doubles down and tries to motivate her boyfriend. Who pretending to be sleep. She taps on his leg and when he doesn’t respond, she attacks.  Scratching her boyfriend on his left eye causing it to swell and turn black and blue.  Her boyfriend told her to stop or he was going to call the police, which set her off more.  Rebecca then scratched her boyfriends  arm and he started bleeding

I never touched him, she told police

Deputies say a witness inside the home did not see what happened, but heard her boyfriend yelling at Rebecca  “Stop hitting me” and then the witness heard a smack.

Ms Phelps was arrested for misdemeanor domestic battery charge and had to pay $100 bond to get out of Jail

But wait, there’s more!

In September 2017, Rebecca smacked a man for rejecting her advances.  She hit him so hard that it left redness on his face.” She also allegedly scratched the man’s arm, causing it to bleed.

Prosecutors subsequently declined to pursue the case against Phelps. It is unclear whether the victim in the 2017 matter is the same man in the current case. 

































































































































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Britain:Woman sucessfully sues dating agency for failing to find her a boyfriend


A British woman sucessfulluy sued a dating agency for failing to deliver her a boyfriend.

Tereza Burki, 47 was awared a $17,000 payout after an exclusize dating agency failed to find the man of her dreams, father of her child.

The mother of three forked out $16,000 for Seventy Thirty Ltd’s services.  She told the High Court the agency had told her it only dealt in “creme de la creme” matches and could introduce her to “bachelors you dream of meeting”

But despite having more than 7000 members, only 100 of them were men actively looking for love.

Judge Richard Parkes QC ordered the agency to repay Ms Burki’s fee — saying she had been “deceived” by Seventy Thirty’s then-managing director.

He told the court: “Gertrude Stein quipped that whoever said money can’t buy happiness didn’t know where to shop.”

Tereza Burki successfully sued a dating agency after it failed to find her love.
Tereza Burki successfully sued a dating agency after it failed to find her love.Picture: Supplied, Tereza Burki/Facebook.

This case is about a woman looking for romantic happiness who says she was tricked into shopping in the wrong place, paying a large sum to a dating which, she says, made promises but failed to produce the goods.”

The court was told Tereza signed up for the dating agency in 2014 looking for a wealthy man with “a lifestyle similar or more affluent than her own”.

The mother-of-three also wanted her new boyfriend to have “multiple residences” and be willing to provide her with another child.

Tereza, who lives in plush Lennox Gardens, Chelsea, said she “felt very let down and disappointed” that the agency’s claims were “untrue”.

Giving evidence, she said: “You shouldn’t promise people who are in a fragile state of mind, in their mid-40s, the man of their dreams.

“You are entrusting a service you believe is professional, who will take care of your interests and have your best interests at heart.”

As well as giving her money back, the judge awarded her $650.for the “disappointment and sadness” she suffered — bringing her total payout to $17,644.

BUT the mother was ordered to pay Seventy Thirty $6500.  in libel damages after writing a damning Google review of the agency where she branded it a “scam”.

Seventy Thirty Ltd said: “Ms Burki entered into membership with the wrong assumption about the number of potential gentlemen we would introduce her to.

“She assumed it would be like internet dating, but we are a niche, exclusive agency, not a mainstream, mass-market online dating service. We are not going to have thousands of members because there simply aren’t thousands of single, wealthy, high-calibre prospects out there.”

The Sun/UK

GOING,Going,Gone! Illinois State Rep Nick Sauer resigned after reports of Catfishing Men on Instagram


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Come on Republicans….   There are gay, Jews, Christians,  Buddhists, Democrats and zillions of dedicated gay individuals in political groups and religions all over the world, including far away places like Fresno, California.   Stop forcing good strong Republican men and women into closets with all that dust and filthy mole.

Now, no one really knows if Nick Sauer is gay.    He’s gay when he or his boyfriend says he’s gay!

What we do know.   Kate Kelly his ex girlfriend is pissed.  She’s tired of him using the intimate pictures she sent to him, while they were a couple to talk to men on instagram.

I know what your thinking, perhaps the ravishing Kate, discovered his SECRET.!  Perhaps? We don’t know cause no one is talking.    As far as we know, good old Nick is straight as they come!  Straight arrow, Republican stock.

But it was the ravishing Kate, who filed a complaint with Illinois state’s Office of the Legislative Inspector General, and told that office he lured men “who believed they were communicating with her ” into “graphic conversations of a sexual nature,”  

Well, how did she find out ?

The ravishing Kate, was minding her own Biz-Ness when a MAN she did not know, reached out to her last month via her PERSONAL instagram account and said he’d been chatting with her for 4 months with someone pretending to be her.    RUDE!!!!

The ravishing Ms Kelly, wrote to Instagram (PLEASE, I AM A LADY!!!!!) who disabled the account AND spoke to good straight Nick!    He poured, like a Pepsi dispenser, allegedly admitted to EVERY THANG!

She said, he came to her house and confessed to catfishing men with her photos for 2 years to at least 8 men.

I know what your thinking, that man is gay.   But he could have been working on a special project for the state, something tip top secret.   You know, Republicans cant talk about things like that in the wide open.

What would Betsy DeVos think?

You could set your watch to this!

Politicians, called for Nick to resign.   Illinois State House Republican Leader Jim Durkin said in statement. The allegations that have come forth against Representative Nick Sauer are troubling. He will be resigning from office today. We should allow the proper authorities to conduct their investigations.’   Governor Bruce Rauner said the resignation was the thing to do.

During his tenure as a politician, Sauer served on a task force addressing sexual harassment.

This is 2018, Gay Marriage is legal.  Republicans its time!  Free those good gay men and women who exists in your party and let them walk without hangers.

Former President George W. Bush and Nick Sauer. From Facebook.

Just look at him and George W.  Two strong men, Republican Stock (Photo: Facebook)

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WAYBACK MACHINE

2010

Former California State Senator Roy Ashburn came out after being arrested for drunk driving.  The Senator lead the Highway Patrol on a low speed chase from a gay night club in Sacramento to the State Capitol garage. With a young man in the front seat. 

Click the link below for the full story

https://sacratomatovillepost.com/2010/05/27/and-the-pink-brick-goes-to/

 

CityFella

‘Painkiller pills turned me gay’ claims man who ditched his girlfriend after breaking his foot


 

Scott Purdy, 23, described himself as a hot-blooded heterosexual who enjoyed dating women before he started taking painkiller Pregabalin

From: UK Mirror

A 23-year-old man has claimed that painkillers he took after a go-karting accident unexpectedly turned him gay.

Scott Purdy, 23, described himself as a hot-blooded heterosexual who enjoyed dating women before he started taking painkiller Pregabalin, also known as Lyrica.

He believes the drug caused him to lose his sexual attraction to women and prompted him to dump his girlfriend because he realised he was attracted to men.

Scott was prescribed the drug after breaking his foot earlier this year.

He said: “I noticed my libido for women had gone and I was wanting male attention.

Scott was prescribed the painkillers after he broke his foot earlier this year (Image: SWNS- Cambridge)
Lyrica is manufactured by Pfizer – the pharmaceutical giant which also makes Viagra used to treat sexual dysfunction in both men and women (Image: SWNS- Cambridge)

“I was with a girlfriend I had been with for around six months. I had never been interested in men. When I was younger I was a little bit curious but…

“A couple of weeks after I started taking it I turned around and said I didn’t find her physically attractive anymore. She knew I was taking Pregabalin.

“I said to her, ‘I don’t really know what’s happening to me and I told her I like men and I just can’t be with you.’

“She was relatively understanding, as understanding as you could possibly be.”

Pregabalin or Lyrica is a medication used to treat epilepsy, pain associated with the brain, and generalized anxiety disorder.

Its documented side effects include loss of libido and mood swings.

Scott Purdy with ex-girlfriend Sarah in February this year (Image: SWNS- Cambridge)

Scott added: “I just think people should know about this.

“If anyone gets prescribed this in the future, I think they should know what this medication can do.

“It took me a while to realise what it was. I stopped taking it for a few weeks and that desire for men just left.”

“But I’m on it now; I’m very happy. I want to keep on taking it because it makes me feel happy about my sexuality. It’s made me feel very open. It’s liberating.

“Pregabalin is also used to control paranoia and anxiety. It’s made me so open and not bothered what people think or say.

“I had been taking it for a few weeks and I have come to the realisation that when I take it I want males.

Scott said he was a hot-blooded heterosexual before painkillers turned him gay (Image: SWNS- Cambridge)

“It did come as a shock to people. I posted it on Facebook . I didn’t tell them the reason why but I just said to them, ‘I’m open; I’m gay.’

“Currently I’m talking to this lad on Plenty of Fish and in a couple of weeks I’m going up to see him. He’s in London.

“It’s really what I’m craving right now. I want to be with him right now.”

Scott had been taking Codeine until January this year, but has been experiencing negative side-effects, so his GP prescribed him Pregabalin.

He says that it was only after taking Pregabalin that his sexual preferences changed.

Scott split with his girlfriend after discovering he was attracted to men (Image: SWNS- Cambridge)

He said: “I feel if this has happened to other people and I’m not the only one I would be outraged but in a sense not be because if I had known this was a side effect before I would not have taken them but now I’m happy.

“I’m not angry because it’s made me who I am.”

Scott is unemployed and currently lives with his housemate in Louth, Lincs.

Lyrica is manufactured by Pfizer – the pharmaceutical giant which also makes Viagra used to treat sexual dysfunction in men.

A spokeswoman for Pfizer said: “When prescribed and administered appropriately as per the approved label, Lyrica® (pregabalin) is an important and effective treatment option for many people living with chronic neuropathic pain, generalised anxiety disorder and epilepsy.

Scott with former girlfriend Sarah earlier this year (Image: SWNS- Cambridge)

“The clinical effectiveness of this medicine has been demonstrated in a large number of robust clinical trials among thousands of patients living with these conditions. To date, the worldwide exposure to pregabalin is an estimated 34 million patient years.

 

“If you are taking a medicine and experience any unexpected side effects, we recommend that you immediately report these to your doctor or to another healthcare professional, such as a nurse or carer.

“The Medicines and Healthcare Products Regulatory Agency (MHRA) can also be contacted through its Yellow Card reporting system (https://yellowcard.mhra.gov.uk/).

“Patient safety is, and will always be, Pfizer’s utmost priority. We work with regulatory authorities around the world to continuously evaluate and monitor safety for each and every Pfizer medicine through ongoing clinical research, analysis and surveillance.”

5 Ways your Childhood Impacts your Relationship(s)


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By: Alysha Jeney\Modern Love Counseling

Maybe you know the ways your childhood impacts your relationship(s). Maybe you’ve never thought about it. As an Attachment Based Therapist, I see the impacts of bonds and relationships. From my perspective, strong bonds are what keep us grounded, feeling confident and secure in ourselves and our world around us. I believe, we all need and desire to feel safe and secure; this is what motivates a lot of us. Unfortunately, we get stuck in our (not so helpful) coping strategies that ultimately deny us of this and we often don’t even realize we do this. Especially in our adult relationships.

Do you ever wonder why you do the things that you do? Do you ever look at yourself objectively and ask yourself, “What’s really going on for me?”

Well… It may be time to start.

Here are 5 ways your childhood impacts your relationship(s).

5 Ways Your Childhood Impacts Your Relationship :  #1 You Don’t Trust Easily

Trust is the foundation of any relationship. When we as adults struggle with trusting others, it may be due to deep rooted issues from past ruptures with the people we were innately supposed to trust. If our parents neglected us, abandoned us, abused us, criticized us and/or created a relationship that was conditional, we don’t realize that we innately feel a sense of insecurity as we evolve into our environment and sense of self as we grow. This doesn’t mean our parents didn’t love us– this doesn’t mean you don’t love your parents. This may mean that the tools they had weren’t always effective. Often, our parents “did the best that they could with what they had,” but that doesn’t mean the impact of those tools (or lack of) should be dismissed. It had an impact! 

If our parents or caretakers don’t give us the unconditional space to be human (i.e. having emotions, mess up, etc), then we start internalizing emotions and start adapting to our insecurities by mistrusting others around us and becoming protective of ourselves in many different ways.

What you can do: It is important to understand that trust is difficult for everyone regardless of their past. If you experienced some form of disconnect with your caretakers and/or parents growing up, it’s important to acknowledge and give yourself permission to see how it may have grown into a bigger sensitivity for you and may be something you struggle with even to this day. Acknowledging this doesn’t mean you have to blame your parents for everything; this doesn’t mean you don’t love them; this doesn’t mean you are betraying them. This means you are acknowledging yourself and your needs as a child– which is extremely validating and OK to do.

Click on the link below for the rest of the story

http://www.modernlovecounseling.com/ways-your-childhood-impacts-your-relationship/

I hate Valentines Day


With a passion!

And I’m NOT alone!   To be fair, I struggle with any and all days that prompt me or obligate me to act or to do something on a particular day, Including Christmas,    I have Turkey all year round and I’ve had duck on Thanksgiving.

Somewhere today someone is being pressured to do something for their significant other.   Somewhere tonight there will be tears and resentment,separation and possibly divorce,because of this day.   The other three hundred sixty four days is meaningless.

I am a romantic man. I rarely miss a birthday and throughout the years  I have bought flowers, gifts, (Diamonds) just because.

Throughout the years I have been pressured, by friends, colleagues to participate in this manufactured holiday.    I have stood in long lines on V-day, at a drug store with other sad sacks, buying whatever that was available so there would be some semblance of peace when I got home.

   For years, a friend worked overtime, he bought nothing for himself, to buy his wife a New Mercedes SUV for her birthday.   Three weeks later, she was outraged!  She said, she was the only woman in her section who did not get anything on V-Day!  The couple fought for a week.

For those who love V-day carry on.   For me participating on this day is disingenuous and I will not participate.  There are some who might say.  This day symbolizes love and a gift is merely an extension of that  love you have for the that special person in your life.

If V-Day, is the only day my love and affection has value?  Bye Felicia!

CityFella

 

 

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