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Category Archives: Good People

The problem with happy peppy glass half full people

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Defeat and failure are two words you won’t find in the vocabulary of a Happy peppy glass full person.

They will find another rainbow. Light in the darkest of times. Make a joke during sad times.

” I will miss her, but you have to admit she’s dressed better dead than anytime she was alive”

Their brightness can be irritating to anyone seeking darkness or silence.

It’s very difficult for these people to accept sadness or negativity. They are relentless and some expend all their energy into others to help them find a rainbow.

When they fail. When they are defeated. They take it personally.

The Sun shuts off and they retreat into a dark place blaming themselves for failing their friend.

The problem with happy peppy, glass half full people is they forget people are different. Individuals come in different speeds. We all wired differently. A combination of backgrounds, parenting, and personal experiences.

We often arrive at the same destination but we arrive at speed that’s comfortable for us.

All of those differences must be honored and respected.

While rainbows are important to happy peppy, glass half full individuals. Others are simply happy when the rain ends.

There is a place for happy peppy, glass full people. They aren’t difficult to find as they are often surrounded by people basking in their Sunshine.

They will be better served when they take a moment an access the situation and accept the person for who they are before attempting to help or repair them.

CityFella

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The secret life of class reunions

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A class reunion is a time machine of sorts…

By: /The American in Italia

The closest invention to a time machine is perhaps the high school reunion. Going back to the campus where you went to school every day as a teenager and experiencing that strong sense of familiarity – even though years have passed since you last set foot there – is a unique experience. The motivation behind regular reunions is similar to what drives you to reread a favorite book. Every time you do it, something new reveals itself. Perhaps it’s the campus, or the characters. Same place. Same people. Yet nothing’s the same.

Attending my reunion in May, I saw people I’d known pretty well in high school whom I barely know now. I also saw people I barely interacted with years ago, but with whom I now share something I don’t share with anyone else in my life. Only now do I see how high school and college really are the formative years of adulthood in modern America. Or, to borrow from William Carlos Williams: so much depends on a red wheelbarrow.

The motivation behind regular reunions is similar to what drives you to reread a favorite book. Every time you do it, something new reveals itself.

Looking at old pictures, I am struck by how young we all were–yet, we didn’t know it at the time. My high school classmates and teachers were the last people to know me before a series of events that were my young adulthood: my parents’ separation and divorce, my father’s marriage to a woman to whom I’d never been introduced, my mother’s diagnosis with cancer, her illness and death, my father’s subsequent silent cross-country move with his wife, and my sister’s detachment from relations with remaining family, including first and foremost with me. High school friends and classmates– though several of them have already passed on due to accidents or illness– knew me when I was a different person. And in some ways, I miss that person.

In other ways, though, I don’t miss that person at all. She was a little too sheltered to appreciate the important things. She was envious of some of her friends for all the wrong reasons. She listened to her parents even when she might have been better off listening to herself. She hadn’t yet found her voice. But she was just a kid, after all. I forgive her.

Someone once asked me what the best moment or time period in my life has been so far, and it was such a strange question. They were looking for an answer like “high school,” “college,” or “my twenties.” But honestly, I’ve always felt like the best moment is usually right now, and sometimes yet to come. My best moments are whenever I’m with people I appreciate, or when I’m so highly involved in something– be it writing, hiking, or having a deep conversation– that I forget about the moment itself.

I also saw people I barely interacted with years ago, but with whom I now share something that I don’t share with anyone else in my life.

High school was a special time of big vicissitudes. I went from a small insular Jewish school to a much larger secular private school, from undemanding academics to rigorous college-prep level academics, from rudimentary elective and extracurricular offerings to sophisticated electives, sports, and arts offerings.

I adjusted to many transitions, and then it was time to change again. I went to a large public university near extended family in southern California, spent one quarter studying abroad in Mexico and right after that went to law school in northern California, a place I’d been curious about for years.

Life can go in so many different directions… and so much of it seems to be out of our control. I recognize that through it all– including some very tough times– I have become an adaptable, resilient, and empathic person.

Joseph Campbell said, “You must give up the life you planned in order to have the life that is waiting for you.” I’m not sure whether he meant to inspire a simple acceptance of that life, or a more whole-hearted embrace. Perhaps he meant a continuous dance between both.

 

The weight of the truth

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There is a issue in a  relationship/friendship.  It isn’t new in fact, its been an issue for some time.  You’ve ignored it, hoped it would go away on its own.  But now the issue has  grown larger.  An event in your life has placed the issue front and center.

The remedy may be a phone call away, or it may be sleeping beside you.

You avoid the asking the question, because the truth could change the relationship.  You may have long idealized the relationship and even though it hasn’t met your  expectations you have learned to live with the question burning inside.

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A Lifetime of Speculation 

With the issue now front and center, some people choose to outsource the question.  Asking complete strangers who aren’t invested in your life for theories and advice.

Quickly dismissing those who suggest you speak directly to the source.

A lifetime filled with doubt and fear often with the other person, unaware of your feelings.  A lifetime of misplaced anger and resentment.

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You may not like your options, anger and resentment or clarity?

Only one of these will allow you to move forward, no matter the outcome.

If you need a Guarantee THAT every thing will go well 

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There aren’t any guarantees how that person will respond to the question or to your pain.  In the movies, the writer can guarantee the outcome and at the end, the music swells, the rain stops, a bright rainbow appears, then the movie star kiss, slow fade, the perfect ending.

If your conversation must end with a perfect ending, you aren’t ready to have the conversation.  The goal is truth.  The truth will determine which direction your friendship/relationship will go.

Choose a moment ( this is NOT to be conducted electronically via text, or a face app) where the two of you (no more than two) can speak face to face.   Be aware of your tone as your tone and emotions can determine the direction of the conversation.

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Before you speak.  Practice what your going to say, being very Specific. (You may consider writing it down).   If there was an incident, be succinct, tell them how the event made you feel. Don’t dilute the moment with multiple questions.  Then stop and breathe.

Allow them to respond (without interruption) with their truth.  Take their words in, allow a full ten seconds before you respond.    Stay on Topic!    Once the conversation ends, put a period ,not a comma on it.   Accept what you hear.

 

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“It is a choice”.

Life end’s in an Instant, which box will you choose?

The RodFather

 

 

 

 

 

 

Disco Nights At “Dance Your Ass off Incorporated, San Francisco”

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It wasn’t about smoking, buying a drink, I just wanted to dance.

My roommate Jennifer introduced me to Disco.  She had this wild fascination with drag queen’s, especially black drag Queens.   At one forty five am, we would walk down street to the Foster’s Restaurant at Polk and Sutter. Foster’s was opened 24 hours and was a popular place to gather after the bars closed at 2am.   In the 70’s, Polk Street was the heart of the San Francisco’s  gay community and there were more than a dozen bars between Post and Sacramento Street’s

We were both under age back then.  Jennifer would sometimes get into the bars but I wouldn’t. Watching the nightly show at Foster’ s was one thing ,but entering a gay bar, wasn’t happening,

One of the first disco’s I ever went to was , “Dance your ass off Incorporated” on Columbus near the Wharf.  For this kid it was magical . Flashing lights ,disco balls and the deafening beat of the music.

Dancing was my life, from Fresno, to New York City.

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It was a place you could be anything and do anything.  At a Disco, the dress code was what ever you feel and Polyester was king.   The bathrooms were genderless at some of the clubs in the city.

 Dying to get into Studio 54

My roomy Jen, fell in love with a guy who was into Scientology and moved to New York. They lived in a small roach filled apartment uptown off Broadway.   We were determined to get into studio 54.  Image result for studio 54 new york pictures from 1970s

The staff at the door were mean and nasty unless your a celebrity.  You were judged and they determined if you got in.  It was fun, to watch people get out of their limo’s like celebrities and slip the door man a fifty only to be directed towards the end of the line.

For a three days, Jen, her Boo Larry and me waited in line.    Jen was hugged up with Larry and one day, a man pointed at Jen and I . I told the man THEY are a couple and before I knew it,  Jen scooped up my arm and kissed Larry goodbye.

Invested

All over america, seedy dives were adding mirror balls and parkay floors, becoming Disco’s overnight .  There were dance floors all over the City, from The Mission to the Richmond along Clement Street.   There was the Shanghai Gardens in Chinatown on Grant.  The I Beam in the Haight Image result for i beam san francisco  Busby’s on Polk, had a Stainless steel ceiling and dance floor where they put saw dust on the floor to keep the dancers in place.   The hotels were adding Disco’s . There was a disco in the Penthouse of the St Francis Hotel.  I met my wife on a dance floor in the San Francisco Hilton.

The larger clubs sold tee shirts, advertising there businesses.  But I wanted more. I lost a few pounds was able to buy some jeans at the Jeans Factory on Market, invested in square bottom polyester shirts.

Things changed after visiting Osko’s Dance Club in Los Angeles

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Osko’s is the massive Disco where “Thank God it’s Friday with Donna Summer was filmed.  There were people in jumpsuits and individuals wearing vest with custom lettering representing other clubs throughout the country.

Back in San Fran, my Favorite Disco was “The City ” in North Beach.   I bought a black Vest.  I added custom lettering on the back representing my club on the top line and on the second line was my name “Dr. Disco M.D” which stood for Mad Dancer.

I designed a sleeveless black bell bottom jumpsuit with a zipper down the front made of the finest bullet-proof polyester money could buy.  I found a Taylor on Polk Street who shared my vision. He insisted on a non destructible zipper.   On its first outing, I realized there was a major omission, pockets.   I designed zippered pockets in the leg of the jumpsuit for my wallet coins and keys. I put toilet paper in the pockets to silence the noise.

By the early eighties Disco faded.  Many people danced where they used to dance before disco, in the Black, Latin and gay clubs.  I was married with children, so dancing meant company  parties, where my wife and I were the first to get on the dance floor and the last to leave.

  “Dance your ass off ‘ is a comedy club.  Due to its unique name a lot of my friends remember the club.  I recently met with friend from a friend in college who I hadn’t seen in 35 years who remembered the club.

I remembered an wonderful environment filled with joy.  In City, there were whites in black clubs, latin in white clubs and everyone else in massive gay clubs like the Trocadero on sixth.. It didn’t matter if you had three left feet. It was about the ever present thumping of the bass..

A little bit of that would feel good in these times. 

I still have the jumpsuit, which proves polyester is the miracle fabric and getting into the jumpsuit today WOULD be a miracle.  I wonder if the Smithsonian (once they re-open) would be interested?

CityFella

Sold my soul for a case of “Bit of Honey”

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Image result for face the music game show

My niece said, they’re auditioning at the Hilton, you should go. Even though I hadn’t seen or heard of the show, I said okay.

The medium sized meeting room was filled with perspective contestants and staff, who asked you about yourself and hobbies. When they asked me had I’d seen the show, I figured I was doomed. But no one gave me the heave ho and We saw a video of the show and played a mock version of the show. I was terrible.

When I was younger, my mother and I would occasionally drive down to LA to see the taping of some of the shows like Johnny Carson, Laverne and Shirley and various game shows. The game shows were lucrative, because they gave audience members a fist full of tickets to entice us to sit through the hours of taping. It was common for them to tape ten to fourteen shows a day. We came home with Tee Shirts, Electric Can Opener and cash.it was grueling.

I had long forgotten about Face the Music when they called and told me to come down to LA. Bring changes of clothing and expect to stay 14 hour a day. I had no expectations of winning a car or a ton of cash, I was just excited to be on TV.

My wife and I rented an Oldsmobile Cutlass and drove down to LA, where we stayed in a seedy hotel on Hollywood Boulevard near the Sunset Studios. I convinced her, the long day would be worth it because of the cash and prizes.

FORT KNOX

We arrived to the studio. As I was walking away, my wife remembered I had the rental car keys and the room keys and as she was walking towards me to retrieve the keys, she was blocked by two security guards. Who took the keys from me, and put them in an envelope, sealed the envelope and gave the sealed envelope to my wife, who was less than fifteen feet away.

HOME

In my mind, we would tape then break for lunch. I was assigned to a waiting area with other contestants ,where we were told the rules. We had to sign various releases including one very scary release that said, if the show was preempted in one of the five largest markets, we would forfeit our prizes. So if there was a national emergency, I could kiss my 1980 Ford Pinto goodbye.

We all learned that home during the taping would be this large room in a loft in the studio, where there was a dressing area, two restrooms and a large lighted mirror. The contestants were encouraged to entertain ourselves and watch the taping on a portable TV.

CHOW

There were snacks for us A large steel can held the IRIS soft drinks, coffee was in a large teachers coffee pot. with an orange light. Lunch on the first day was fried chicken, poured into another large steel can lined with a black garbage bag and chips. Napkins were our plates. No one complained.

FACE THE MUSIC

Face the Music was produced Sandy Frank, who was responsible for the very successful “Name that Tune”. The twist, however, was that in addition to identifying the songs that the orchestra played, the contestants had to link the song titles to famous people, places, and things. (Remember. I sucked here) The Host was Ron Ely, who was best known for his loin cloth in TV’s Tarzan. Way, way, wayyyy back in 1966. The Singer was Lisa Donovan who’s trademark move was twisting her shoulders at the beginning of every show. Her twisting slowly took over the room. By the end of the first evening all of us were twisting with Lisa

OLD MATH AND HARSH REALITY

They called us for the show. People traveled from Washington State to be on the show. There were nearly eighty of us. Two new contestants for each show meant, only 28 would get on if they taped fourteen shows. If!

My reality changed after realizing that I wasn’t guaranteed to get on. After I told everyone I was going to be on. “Fuck”

I was one of six black contestants. One brotha, names Eugene, killed it and became the champion. While we should be happy for him, all we felt was dread. You never seen blacks on one game show in those days. Eugene went on to win three other shows. They taped 11 shows that day.

My new wife, was disappointed that I didn’t get on. To make matters worse, the audience prizes were mostly tee shirts.

SELLING OUR SOULS FOR BIT OF HONEY

Several times a day the producers would visit the loft. The staff, asked us to chant their names as they walked up the stairs, the chants would grow louder as the producers got closer to the room, when the the door open there as absolute pandemonium, we were jumping up and down.

These were all self respecting people who would never act this way. ANYWHERE! But we wanted to get on, so we tossed aside our self respect and screamed they way the told us too.

By the second and final day, I was depressed. I kept it to myself. Even with the announcement they were going to tape 14 shows, did nothing to relieve my sadness. I told everyone I was going to be on TV, and now it looks likes its not going to happen.

Eugene, who came out of top for four episodes, lost in the the pivotal fifth episode which would have guaranteed him a new car. I felt bad for wanting him to lose.

In the room, you could feel the disappointment. I even sang a sad song that make a couple of people cry.

At one point, they asked us to come downstairs. Showtime, was shooting a documentary (I think) featuring game show contestants. We all signed releases without looking. When the cameras were on me, I told them how excited I was to be on and how well we were treated (All lies)

We returned to more chicken. I sat staring at set. There was no more Lisa Donovan Twist. Just as I started to settle into my reality, I wasn’t going to be on. They called my name.

The other contestants made me feel important even though I would never see them again. The brotha worked on my Natural, others made sure every thing was perfect. No one had to coach me about my energy. I was ready.

When Ron Ely asked what I did? In song, I said I was an opera singer. My colleagues at the insurance company where I worked as clerk, teased me about that for months.

(An Opera, what?)

I didn’t make it past the first round, BUT, I was a hit, with pats on the back from staffers and the female producer. I got carried away by the laughs in the audience. Ron Ely, told me to settle down. But who was he? I was a hit!

My consolation prize was a selection of Bulova Clocks and a Case of Bit of Honey.

The car was especially quiet leaving the studio. Then all of sudden “Wedding Ring” WEDDING RING!! WEDDING RING!!! my wife is screaming! Was the answer, to the question. I made the mistake and said, I know! HOW COULD YOU NOT KNOW WEDDING RING!!! We have only been married a few months. WED-DING RING!

An unscheduled stop at Del-Taco, reduced the temperature of the car.

GAME SHOWS

I have auditioned for several games shows. From the Zoo like atmosphere of the Price is Right, to Card Sharks, I was called by three of the four shows I auditioned for. But the more I thought about the degradation and making a complete fool of myself, and decided against it.

If can’t say if this is the experience at all game shows, but I was one and done.

My prize arrived six months later, I was Bit O Honey for world

Every now and then I will get a call from someone who has seen me on Face The Music, on Game Show Network and other Cable channels and I walk away, we no regrets. While all my children know that I’m crazy, I wish I could get a copy of the episode so they might share it with their children

See you on Cable

CityFella

Man buys entire family DNA tests for Christmas and there are some shocking results

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A man has revealed how he almost ruined his family Christmas (stock image) (Image: Getty Images)

By: Courtney Pochin/UK Mirror

There’s always one family member who turns up at Christmas with a rather bizarre present.

 

From homemade items that didn’t quite go to plan, to last minute gifts purchased on the way over, we thought we’d seen it all.

But one man has raised the bar for unusual presents by purchasing DNA testing kits for his entire family – and the bemusing item almost ruined Christmas for everyone.

The unnamed son revealed all in a post online, which has had thousands of views.

He bought the same gift for everyone (stock photo) (Image: Getty Images)

Taking to Reddit, the man starts his story by revealing that earlier in the year AncestryDNA had a sale on their kit and for some reason he thought it would be a great gift, so he bought six of them – one for himself, his mum, his dad, brother and two sisters.

However when it came time to open presents on December 25, the kits didn’t exactly garner the reaction he’d been hoping for.

He wrote: “As soon as everyone opened their gift, my mom started freaking out. She told us she didn’t want us taking them because they had unsafe chemicals. We explained to her how there were actually no chemicals, but we could tell she was still flustered.

“Later she started trying to convince us that only one of us kids need to take it since we will all have the same results and to resell extra kits to save money.”

The man bought DNA tests for his whole family – and almost ruined Christmas (Image: Getty)

The children were still keen to give the tests a go which caused an argument to break out between the parents.

According to the post, the pair went upstairs and argued for about an hour, leaving the four kids to wonder what exactly was going on.

At this point, the man truly thought he’d “f***** up” and ruined the family Christmas.

But then things took a surprising turn.

TIFU by buying everyone an AncestryDNA kit and ruining Christmas

Earlier this year, AncestryDNA had a sale on their kit. I thought it would be a great gift idea so I bought 6 of them for Christmas presents. Today my family got together to exchange presents for our Christmas Eve tradition, and I gave my mom, dad, brother, and 2 sisters each a kit.

As soon as everyone opened their gift at the same time, my mom started freaking out. She told us how she didn’t want us taking them because they had unsafe chemicals. We explained to her how there were actually no chemicals, but we could tell she was still flustered. Later she started trying to convince us that only one of us kids need to take it since we will all have the same results and to resell extra kits to save money.

Fast forward: Our parents have been fighting upstairs for the past hour, and we are downstairs trying to figure out who has a different dad.

TL;DR I bought everyone in my family AncestryDNA kit for Christmas. My mom started freaking. Now our parents are fighting and my dad might not be my dad.

Update: Thank you so much for all the love and support. My sisters, brother and I have not yet decided yet if we are going to take the test. No matter what the results are, we will still love each other, and our parents no matter what.

Update 2: CHRISTMAS ISN’T RUINED! My FU actually turned into a Christmas miracle. Turns out my sisters father passed away shortly after she was born. A good friend of my moms was able to help her through the darkest time in her life, and they went on to fall in love and create the rest of our family. They never told us because of how hard it was for my mom. Last night she was strong enough to share stories and photos with us for the first time, and it truly brought us even closer together as a family. This is a Christmas we will never forget. And yes, we are all excited to get our test results. Merry Christmas everyone!

P.S. Sorry my mom isn’t a whore. No you’re not my daddy.

 

His parents eventually came back down and shared some shocking news with them all – one of them had a different dad.

He explained: “Turns out my sister’s father passed away shortly after she was born. A good friend of my mom’s was able to help her through the darkest time in her life, and they went on to fall in love and create the rest of our family.

“They never told us because of how hard it was for my mom.”

The parents went on to share stories and photos for the first time and the son claims the experience brought them “even closer together as a family”.

The situation ended up bringing them closer together (stock photo) (Image: Getty)

He added: “This is a Christmas we will never forget. And yes, we are all excited to get out test results. Merry Christmas everyone!”

More than 9,000 people have taken the time to comment on his post, with many sharing their own unusual family stories.

One person wrote: “I was adopted by my grandparents and didn’t know until I was older. The person I grew up with as an older sister was actually my biological mother.”

Another said: “My friend discovered through AncestryDNA that her grandpa wasn’t actually her grandpa. Her actual grandpa was one of her grandparents’ neighbors.”

A third added: “I work at AncestryDNA. This actually happens all the time.”

Home with a box of Kelloggs Corn Flakes

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In 1894, John Harvey Kellogg created a food that he thought would be healthy for the patients of a Sanitarium where he was the Superintendent in Battle Creek Michigan. 

The cereal was made by toasting flakes of corn .  

  In 1906, he started a business making corn flakes, and by 1914 its was sold all over the United States, today its sold all the world. 

I was introdued to Kelloggs when I was four or five.  This was well before Fruit Loops or Lucky Charms and other sugary cereals.  I digress,  I forgot “Tony the Tiger” the mascot, the spokestiger of “Sugar Frosted Flakes.  

Kelloggs Corn Flakes is my comfort food, its not a part of my daily diet, but there is always a box in my pantry.  Its there in a pinch.  I have a bowl if  I’m super stressed.  It’s  calming and familar.  Perhaps its reminds me of my mom.   But its there when I need it… A bowl of Kelloggs Corn Flakes, not Post Toasties or some generic corn flakes, Kelloggs.

Researching this story, I found an interesting tidbit.    In addition to Kelloggs, Post Cereal was also founded in Battle Creek Michigan, the cereal capital of the world.    Charles William Post was a patient at the Battle Creek Sanitarium where Mr Kellogg was the Superintendent.      

A year after Kellogg developed corn flakes,  Mr Post developed a drinkable cereal called Postum.  Two years after Kellogg’s corn flakes went to market. Post Toasties was introduced and so was a rivalery.

While Kelloggs is my choice of corn flake I find Post Raisin Brand superior to Kelloggs Raisin Brand. 

The defination of “Comfort Food”  is food that provides a nostalgic or sentimental value to someone, and may be characterized by its high caloric nature, high carbohydrate level, or simple preparation. The nostalgia may be specific to an individual, or it may apply to a specific culture.

My  Comfort Food

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CityFella

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