STAND BACK her Va-jay,jay is loaded!


 

You’ve seen this a few hundred times on Cops and Live P.D.   A couple was pulled over for speeding in a small town. Chenoa, Illinois.

One of them Anika Witt or her bud Clinton McDonald probably was a little twitchy

Cops and Live P.D vets know what happens with twitchy occupants

The PoPo searches the car and finds……….

Ecstasy and Heroin

Anika had Ecstasy in her bra. and Heroin in the Car

No one was going home that night in September.

They took her to women’s jail and her friend to the men’s Jail.

During the mandatory strip search they discovered a fully loaded  Kimber 380 in her Vagina.

As for Clinton, they didn’t find a gun in his Vagina.  (no wait)

Things were looking bleak for Anika,  15 years for the drugs and 10 years for the gun.

25 years in the slammer

Unless she blabs on Clinton.

Anika sings. cause she has a criminal background. theft, bad checks and resisting arrest.

After her concert, she was sentenced to two years in State Prison.  They gave her credit for the eight months served and she will see the light of day September 7th 2019.

CityFella

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I beg YOUR PARDON! I think he it said from the Rose Garden!


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Is your neck tired from shaking your head?   The average person (average may be a qualifier) might ask themselves why would an innocent president need a pardon?  And where is Melania?  Is her reprogramming complete?

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If she reappers holding your hand and kissing you in public we will know!

Let’s return to your guilt?  

 

No president has even pardon themselves. A Justice Department memorandum from 1974 —  shortly before the resignation of President Richard Nixon- asserted that the president did not possess such a power.

“Under the fundamental rule that no one may be a judge in his own case, the President cannot pardon himself,” Mary Lawton, former acting assistant attorney general for the Office of Legal Counsel, said in the memorandum.

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Rudy and Donald 

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Rudy Giuliani and Donald Trump have know each other for decades.  In our current bizzaro world President Trump rubbers stamps any thing lawyer says on HIS behalf.  

Giuliani recently told  HuffPost the President HYPOTHETICALLY could have SHOT James Comey to end the Russia investigation and not face prosecution for it while in office. 

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YES!  The man in the nice gown said, Trump’s presidential power extends so far that ‘IN NO CASE CAN HE BE SUBPOENAED OR INDICTED” 

“I don’t know how you can indict while he’s in office. No matter what it is,” he said.  Giuliani said Trump would face impeachment rather than prosecution if HE had shot the forer FBI Director James Comey in the Oval Office to end the Russia probew instead of firing him, which Trump did last May”.  

 

This might be..

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For the 

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Will this shocking news have an affect on Donald Trump Supporters? 

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CityFella

 

Free Melania

 

 

 

Woman calls for KFC just so delivery driver can help get rid of spider


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Demi Sweeney hates Spiders she’s all alone and there is a spider outside her room. Demi is hungry and Loves KFC!  Whats a girl spose to do?

Poole England

Demi Sweeney, a 22-year-old criminology student at Bournemouth University, spotted a huge spider outside her room last week.

Demi told BuzzFeed that she woke up to an empty house at around 10am.

She said she felt trapped in her room as the spider might drop onto her if she passed by.

As all of her housemates were away, she messaged friends and family for help. One suggested ordering food on Deliveroo and asking the delivery driver to sort the situation out.

Demi said she checked with Deliveroo first to see if drivers are allowed in customers’ homes. They are.

She decided to get KFC (and accidentally ordered two meals) and added a note on her order: “I have spoken to Deliveroo customer service, please can you help to remove a spider for me”.

Twenty minutes later, her fried chicken arrived and Demi ran downstairs to her savior.

Unfortunately, the driver, who had seen her request, was also scared of spiders, so Demi had to beg.

“He asked how big it was and said he would give it a go, asking where it was,” she said. Demi got him loo roll and a chair to stand on as equipment.

Demi added there was a moment of panic when the spider dropped onto the floor and started running away, but it was eventually captured by the heroic driver.

The driver flushed the spider down the toilet, which left Demi too afraid to sit on it for much of the day.

“I thanked him around 50 times, he kept saying this is so funny whilst laughing,” Demi said.

“I wanted to hug him. A real life hero.”

 

These Worst First Date Stories Are So Damn Awkward


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By: Korin Miller/Mens Health

Uh, can we not talk about your ex the whole time?

“I can’t wait to go on another first date!” said pretty much no one, ever.

While first dates give you a great chance to get to know someone new, trying to cram the basics of your life into a few hours while getting the 411 on someone else can be stressful as hell.

Of course, some first dates turn into meaningful relationships (it helps when you follow the 5 best first date tips). But it sure can feels like you have to go through some real, uh, winners before that happens. Just remember you’re not alone in this seemingly endless struggle to find an eligible human.

For some reassurance, people on Reddit are spilling details about their absolute worst first dates ever and we are so here for it. Read on, and rest assured.

 

The Relationship Interview That Masqueraded as a First Date

When @KatetheGreat22 went on a first date, she probably wasn’t expecting the crappy experience that unfolded. Instead of actually acting like a normal person, her date treated her like she was applying for a job…as his girlfriend.

Literally we sat across from each other at a table at a coffee shop. He did not order a drink, and he fired questions at me like it was a job interview. Then he ended the date after a half hour. But he texted me later wanting to see me again. I guess I made it to the second round of interviewing?

The Girl Who Just Wanted to Freeload

Sure, there are some things you want to know about your potential partner upfront, but one girl made it very clear to @LikeAstonEdMonkey that she was just looking for someone to take care of her. Just a tip: Asking about someone’s credit score on a date is a really, really bad idea.

We met online and she was cute and charming online so I asked her out. Over dinner, I remember being asked what my job was, if I ever had been arrested, how was my credit, and how many “partners” I had in my life. She was angry that I didnt want to go out with her again and I ended up having to block her number. I know she found out that I made really good money and she was basically a gold digger looking to get married.

He looked hot and fresh on Growlr 

You can never be totally sure online.    His online pictures looked crisp and hot.  But what made him stand out to @Urbanbear916  was his intellect, he had more to say than most online.  They learned they had a lot in common, from vintage cars to Reality TV.

We talked online for about three weeks before agreeing to meet for coffee.     A man in a dingy blue shirt entered Starbucks and asked for a cup of water his body odor was strong I assumed he was one of the unfortunate homeless who lived downtown.   When he turned around it was HIM, everything about him was dirty, his clothes needed washing and his nails was filthy.  Under the dingy was a handsome man.  He wanted to talk, I wanted to escape, his odor was so sharp it burned.  We still talk and he wants to go out, but I can’t bring myself to tell him he stinks. 

 

The Guy Who Read Way Too Much Into Things

People can get so nervous on dates that they talk a lot, but asking the other person questions and actually interacting with them is what makes this whole thing a “date.” Apparently, @AmyLovesTheOrioles’ date didn’t get the memo.

The guy spent the entire time talking about himself and his accomplishments and never asked me a single question about myself. We finished our meal and I said that I had to go home. When I got home, he texted to see if I wanted to go out again. I declined. He then continued to text me long strings of insults because I didn’t love him. After the first [painful] date.

The Guy Who Was So Not Ready to Be Dating Again

Getting back out there after a breakup is tough. But it’s probably a good idea to make sure you’re over your last relationship before you try to start a new one. Apparently @MyCatsRock’s date wasn’t quite there yet.

He got drunk and cried about his ex gf that dumped him for some douche.

 

The Guy Who Thought ‘Date’ Meant ‘Free Advice’

Showing someone you’re interested in their career is important. Blatantly trying to use them for free labor — on a date — is pretty much the worst idea ever.

 I went on a date with a guy & in the middle of dinner, he asks me “you’re an accountant, right?” i say that i am. he pulls out a folder & says “this is my tax return from last year. would you mind taking a look at it? i want to know if the guy i paid prepared it properly.

The Guy Who Set the Bar Too High

When you make first date plans, it’s generally expected that you’ll stick with them — or at least clue your date in if things change. Unfortunately, that didn’t happen with @Chop117.

Told me we were going to go to this restaurant I really had been wanting to go to in our town. He said he would pay for the meal. The foodie in me was pretty excited to try this place I had never been to before. When we walked right past it I start questioning where this date was going. So we ended up at McDonalds. He ordered himself some food and promptly asked me if I wanted something, which of course I denied. Que the next 45 minutes of almost silence except for him chowing down on French fries.

The Recovering Alcoholic Who Seemed to Have a Test

Addiction is scary, and recovery is tough. But @OhSoEasy made it pretty clear that she would not have ordered a beer if she had known that her date was a recovering alcoholic. Instead, the date ended up being super awkward.

We met at a sit down Chinese restaurant. I ordered a beer. He pulled out a medallion he wore around his neck that was given to him from Alcoholics Anonymous. He told me he was in recovery. It was awkward after that and I couldn’t drink the beer in front of him. I never saw him again after that.

 

Broke Down Diva


What is a”Broke Down Diva?”

A woman who wants everything her way and nothing else! (Jennie.G)

A Female that expects everything from someone else (Trophy wife) ( Stephanie F)

A pretender, a Diva wanna be, who gets off on belittling others, wants to live the lives of the Rich and famous but she eats at Denny’s and shops at Ross (Wayne. C)

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The Sacramento Applebee staff knows who she is.  She visits the restaurant on Friday nights with an entourage (6 to 10 people) during the restaurants busiest period  between 7-8.   She doesn’t want to wait and has on occasion slipped onto table as the patrons were leaving insisting, her table cleaned immediately!   She makes the staff wait, as she inspects the water glasses and if one doesn’t meet her standard then she demands all the glasses replaced.   Everyone food, must meet her standards, or they’re returned.   Ignoring her means DRAMA, something she seems to enjoy.  If doesn’t matter if “A” server has her hands full of hot platters, doesn’t have to be her server.  SHE must be attended to immediately.   Loud disagreements are common place, if she isn’t getting her way!   ” Any in fraction should come with a discount, after all it wasn’t perfect, something she expects every time. She has memorized the customer service number and has complained in the past when her all demands weren’t met!     She openly tells her friends the wait staff  should be thankful that they are receiving a tip from her.    She feels  her 4% or 9% tips are more than generous considering the service!

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She arrives at the hotel in her signature gold outfit, with matching purse, polyester on parade.   She wants nothing but the best, her initial tone is pleasing, if she is displeased it becomes shrill.   She arrived at 1am with a story.  Another hotel had her on hold for more than an hour  OMG! OMG! she cried!   She wanted a suite but a suite wasn’t available.  She was appalled! “You don’t have a suite!  (They expected her to say OMG-but she didn’t)   She is expecting a visitor.  She has always stayed in a suite at this hotel.  And her demeanor says she had  never experienced a pedestrian room!    A room without a sofa and amenities!   She reluctantly accepts a “pedestrian room.  A few minutes later, she returns and says she is sick to her stomach.  How could she face her company in such a room?   She calls the reservation line to locate a suite in the greater Sacramento Area, however, she doesn’t want to spend much.  They locate a reasonably priced suite near Cal-Expo that’s 20 dollars more.    She apologizes, and thanks the front desk for not charging her for THAT room.    Oh my gawd!

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Tracee is well known to the merchants of this small foothill community.  For her outrageous behavior, demanding discounts and returns.     Some of the cashiers go on a break when she walks in.  She is always over dressed and over perfumed.  She wears stilettos in the rain, everyone knows where she is at all times by the clacking sounds of her shoes. She often keeps the items until the last day they can be returned.   She will argue past closing time.   One supervisor said, I hate to say it, but I think we all hate her.  She goes out of her way to be mean and just nasty!    There is no reason for her to be like that!    If anyone in this town is a Broke Down Diva, Tracee (not her real name) fits the bill.

 

 

Hotel Confidential: Civility in the Trump era


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Photo: Google

The temperature a sudden change in the air.  Anger and hostility at some the hotels with guest attacking staff and guest fighting with other guests.

In some parts of the country, Latino’s notably Mexicans workers is the cornerstone of many hotels, running the front and back offices.

In the last few years,workers with an accent have been verbally and physically attacked simply because they have accent. At a southern California, a quest slapped a housekeeper for responding to another housekeeper in Spanish.

A guest refused to check into a hotel and demanded their reservation cancelled without penalty because the front desk agent was Muslim.

Some guest refuse to interact with employees who have accents, often demand that an “American’ complete their transaction.

Some guest have complained about two or more employees speaking to each other in another language.  Demanding they only speak English.

 There were racist guest before Donald Trump.  Since his election many hotels have seen a major spike in racist behavior with guest verbally and physically attacking hotel staff, with most of the rage towards Latinos.

Breakfast

Cable News: one show is too right (Fox) the other one is too left (Msnbc) and one is kinda alright (CNN)  In a perfect world the hotel would have three televisions. When there is one Television in the dining area, the safe choice is center.  

A guest wrote a complaint letter to the hotel chains customer service department.   In the letter he said, he couldn’t believe that hotel chain would have CNN on the television a network known for its fake news.  He was so disturbed, he could barely eat his breakfast and will never stay at that hotel again!

In Sacramento, a guest demanded the channel to be changed to Fox News.  He says he spends thousands with the hotel and he wants to watch Fox.  and when the worker said she didn’t have the remote.  He threw his plate into the television screen and stormed off screaming.   He later, told the manager the worker’s attitude made him do it.!

An argument over one of Trumps polices, turned into a brawl including one 71 year old grandmother, police were called.

No one can recall the animosity exhibited today hotels/motels today. .  Guest fighting ,arguing, during the breakfast hour has left some supervisors with no other option than to simply turn the television off.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Fart in the box


8:42am

I entered a packed lobby of  a large skyscraper in San Francisco.   I’m texting my friend to confirm her location in the building.  People are pushing on the elevators.  As soon as the a doorsopens the crowds are packing the elevator, making it difficult for those on the elevator to exit.

I’m in the wrong area.  I need to be in the area with the express elevators to the 38th floor.

8:46am

I put my phone in my pocket and jump on an packed elevator just before the door closes.

First stop ,is the 30th floor.

Within seconds someone farts.  It was wheezing fart, like someone was trying to hold it, but it escaped.     There was shift in the elevators, I side eyed someone, side eyeing.  Its elevator etiquette. all eyes forward.   I so wanted to look back and say DAMM!   Finally ,were on the thirtieth floor, the majority of the occupants exited.   I intended to follow the herd, then the door closed.

Oh well…. more room for me, there were three of us.    One person gets off at the 32nd floor. and then the 35th.   The door opens and as the man was leaving, he farted, the little bitch didn’t say excuse me or anything.   I’m alone with his personal gift in the elevator.

I’m so pissed, I’ve forgotten the suite number.  Luckily my friend was looking for me.  I tell her about the little bastard and she is enjoying my anger.  I’m making her day, oh goodie!

  As I leave her office, I realized that I was obsessed with the little man.   I was hoping  I would see him again in an elevator.  Oh course after drinking a quart of milk, lactose is real baby!    Fuck everybody, they would just be casualties of war.   I wanted the little bitch to pay!   Time to leave, hugs and kisses.

As I get on the elevator, I’m talking to myself in my head.    I really need to get a grip!   What is this fart rage?

The doors open,to the ground floor.  I’m being completely ridiculous, I thought to myself.

As I enter the parking garage, I thought I saw him again, I increase my speed to the elevator.

Calling Dr Phil!

 

CityFella