Adventures in Dating: A man of a certain age


God has a sense of humor, when you were in your twenties with a perfectly firm body,  you didn’t appreciated it, you were too busy comparing yourself with someone else.     My twenties was a time of rebellion,exploration, and independence with major states of outrageous panic.  The mind of many twenty somethings are filled with Jello. My world was fantastically crazy.

Turning 40 was awkward,  I was 39 for three years.  In my head, I was 40 but my mind and mouth weren’t in sync.   I just couldn’t say 40 in a room full of strangers.

I celebrated turning 50.   I was looking forward to it. It was a milestone .  My father died at 42 and being overweight, I never thought I’d reach 50.   I was like a five year old holding up my fingers “I will be 50 in this many months”

But what did 50 mean?  Bulletproof polyester, with Velcro shoes?    I received an AARP application in the mail just before I turned 50.  (Now that I think about it, how did AARP know?)

Jane Fonda wrote fifty is the beginning of cruise control. Your view of life is much different than someone in their thirties and even forties..  At 50, you’ve been there and done that enough times, that life challenges rarely sends your world into a tailspin.

“50”

At fifty, my stretch marks were in the same places.  I still grunted as I tied my shoes and was still predisposed to uncontrollable farting after downing a vanilla large milkshake.

What ever 50 meant, I wasn’t ready for a fly swatter and elevator music in my car and I didn’t want to recapture my youth.  OMG that would be like a pencil in the eye.    So I lived my semi-normal life.

50 was like, a microwave bell going off, signaling to the youngsters that I was available. .   Suddenly, I was desirable to youngsters, many in their twenties.  While the attention was flattering, it also was very uncomfortable. I always had a negative view of old men dating youngsters. After all, I’m a father of grown children and what would they think?

Yes, while had a few friends dating outside their age pool, but that’s them not me.

The downside of fifty are the cracks, just as your mind is coming into its own, you have to worry about Acid Reflex. At 50, your a little more aware of the coughs. (is this the last one?)   Then there is the ever present concerns about your mortality. God has a devilish sense of humor.

Dating,Age is more than a number

Dating, someone near my age became challenging.  I found myself being interviewed, while I understood it  (You don’t  have time for the Bull Shit) It was uncomfortable, and where was the fun?   Younger people didn’t ask those questions, they were more in the here and the now.    So I dated a youngster.  This person convinced me ,they were tired of dating immature men and wanted someone who was settled.

Conversations were fun and light, until they became the dreams and frustration of a twenty something and when you had twenty something children, its like reliving a bad dream.

I learned a lot from the youngster, but sometimes I wanted someone who could relate to the events of a 50 year old.     Someone 26, may have had a full life, filled with a lot of experiences.  What they don’t have is the life experiences of someone 50 and that difference can be as wide as the Mississippi.

I love the energy, but I needed more than the 26 year old had to offer.

Seeing both sides, there are some challenges.   A 50 years old has seen that ,been there.   A 26 year old hasn’t.  To ask the 26 year old to assume the lifestyle of a 50 year old is unreasonable and a balance has to be found.  After dating the youngin, I dated someone near my age and found myself on a sofa watching three hours of Paula Dean.   There was no interest in going out.  Dancing, was out of the question and before I got an invite to a garden show, I was out of there.  For days, I fucking craved everything made of butter.

Dating someone your age, means your mortality is front and center looking back at you.   A truth that’s difficult for some 50 somethings and as a result they date younger people.

A friend turned 50 in March, and he is excited by the attention from the younglings.

Today, I am 61, I don’t know what my dating the future holds.  I’m still Velcro and polyester free. I can be found everywhere in Sacramento, from arcades and area dance floors.  I’m obsessed with tweeting and nearly all forms of social media.  I’m not actively trolling for children on a big wheels or avoiding baby boomers in mild pastels .  My dating circle has a wide range.  The urgency is gone, life is good.  I’m less concerned about age, figuring I will eventually end up with the person I’m supposed to be with.

Hello, I’m CityFella!

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The REAL President of the United States S1 E5: ” Make Russia Laugh Louder”


On Wednesday, the White House blocked US reporters from photographing the meeting, of Russian officials in the White House opting to allow only White House and Russian photographers to capture images of Trump’s interactions with Lavrov.   The Russians , posted images every where including Twitter.   The White House is Furious, the Russians LIED! OMG!!! Can you IMAGINE!

45 and Ambassador Sergey Kislyak

Meet Russian Ambassador Sergey Kislyak .  This is the man who had interesting chats with former National Security Adviser Michael (yeah I took illegal money from the Russians) Flynn.   Current and former US intelligence officials have accused Kislyak of being a top spy and recruiter of spies, a notion that Russian officials have dismissed.

They Fired Comey?  Your Kidding!   

Fresh Not Frozen: For Friday May 5th


“Cousin What”

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Katy Perry in a Masion Margiela by John Galliano at Tuesday’s Met Ball the annual fundraising gala for the benefit of the Metropolitan Museum of Art’s Costume Institute in New York City.

“Coconut Pie Theater”

After smacking Former Mayor Kevin Johnson with a Safeway Coconut Creme Pie and being smacked down by the mayor.  Pie Activist Sean Thompson is getting his day in court.  His attorney wants a show.  News reports indicate she wants the former Mayor and his wife Michelle Rhee to appear on this open and shut case.   If he hit an old lady with a pie, she’d kick his ass too..     News at eleven.

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How Sweet, Just Before Rating Sweeps

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It’s officially official  MSNBC’s  “Morning Joe” co hosts Joe Scarborough and Mika Brzenzinki are engaged  It’s a mixed marriage she’s a brunette and he’s a Republican.  The location of the marriage will be determined by the spring ratings. It will be extravagant affair or an intimate gathering at the Red Roof Inn.

Na Na Na-Na Na Na-hey hey Good Bye” 

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Sang by the Democrats in the chamber to the Republicans after Obamacare was finally repealed.  It took several months to draft Obamacare, the GOP came up with a plan in 30 minutes in Crayon.  45’s Pepsodent Smile was never so bright.  Paul Ryan not as bright and some of the members facing re-election in 2018 cut up their Macy’s cards.

92 & Flooded

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Ninty + in Sacramento and Discovery Park is still underwater and there is still a lot of snow in the Sierra’s .    Two Words    “Melt Slow”

Your Standing on My Coat

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One More from the Met Ball.  Priyanka Chopra in a Ralph Lauren.   Can you see her on he “Meadowview” Light Rail, telling passengers, “your standing on my coat!”

CityFella

SACTOautoPILOT: Is the Filet O’ Fish Fresh?


Two for Five

Not sure if the lady at the Northgate Macdonalds realized she was using her outer voice as she was standing in line.  She really likes, the Filet O’ Fish and thought she would get two of those.  Then she said ooh, “a quarter pounder with cheese”  

SHOWTIME!!!   I want a sprite, no orange, no a LARGE sprite.   I want two Filet O’ Fish , hey when did they bring the fish in?    Huh, said the cashier?  “When did they bring the fish in-is it fresh”  I don’t know, he said.   Okay, then I want one Filet O’ Fish and One Quarter Pounder with cheese.     Using MY inner voice, I wondered why she didn’t ask how fresh the beef was?

The Child of Truth!

A nicely dressed man standing in line at the Grocery Outlet Bargain Market, was a bit dingetta. It was badd  Normally, when I encounter a dull breeze, I go to another line.  That wasn’t an option at this store.    Everyone behind him except one women diverted their noses.  A child about four or five squeezed through the line and as he passed the man held his nose and said ooh you stink!     

 

 

The Real Housewives of New York: S9 Ep1 “All About Tom”


Ladies and Gentleman, age appropriate boy and girls, buckle the fuck up!

Luann De Lesseps, Bethenny Frankel, Dorinda Medley, Sonja Morgan,Carole Radziwill and Ramona Singer, the Housewives in New York is ON! Season Nine.

The NYC franchise is the BEST of all the Housewives.   While some of the other franchises #RHOA , #RHONJ are struggling and I’m not sure why #RHOP #RHOD exists. In the last few years #RHONY has out shined them all.

Last night ,they kept it real out the gate, as most of the women haven’t seen each other since the reunion.  Some have stayed in touch as they’re  are some genuine friendships here.  Others are still simmering from the Reunion.   Despite, the dust ups there is a real sense that these women care for each other.

If your looking for wholesome, you’ll need to change the channel, these are real ladies using real language.

All About Tom!

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Photo:Google

Last nights season opener limped out the gate. With a lot of talk (yes Ramona, I’m tawking bout you! ) about LuAnn and her fiancee Tom D’agostino.  A lot of season 8 was spent on LuAnn and Tom.  Unfortunately, the Tom and Lu affair overwhelmed the reunion, by part two I was over it.

 Ramona seems obsessed with Tom (they dated a few times) she is allegedly asking around to see if Tom is true. She tells LuAnn “People come to me”  (Reminds me of Mama Joyce on #RHOA “the streets are talking” ) No Bitch, your talking,the streets don’t know you like that!

The ladies seem to want to protect LuAnn.  But they come off as spiteful nosy biddies.      Luann De Lesseps is a smart stunning woman, she understands these ladies care for her and she has also told them to back off, including Ms Singer.

They, need to respect her wishes, and back the fuck up!  There were so many juicy issues missed because of the Tom and Luann affair.   They have a new girl coming to terrorize, she will need remedial therapy, before the reunion.  Hoping for less Tom this season, but my computer says NO!

LuAnn weddings is still on.  The only housewife invited is Dorinda.  Ramona doesn’t understand why she isn’t invited  (say it with me-Duh!)  LuAnn and Tom’s apartment in the sky is SERIOUS!

A new Attitude

Who knew what a Barracuda Ramona Singer was?   Through the years we’ve seen  hints of it, but this women has redefined 50+.  She believed her marriage to Mario was forever, but today it’s like Mario who?   Last night she firmly pressed her refreshed breasts, against her contractor who’s name happens to be Mario.  She has redecorated her upper east side apartment.  This women isn’t looking to get married, she may wanna a steady, but most of all she wants to have fun.    Do it Ramona, Do it!

Sonja Morgan is considering putting her place on the market. Ever evolving Sonja is acting now, we saw her in rehearsal for a play called  Sex Tips for Straight Women From Gay Men.  “I have an international following, so why wouldn’t I do this play?” she said.   Sonja, despite her fabulous multilevel townhouse, Sonja is your basis humble housewife who cleans her sex toys in the dishwasher.  (Pencils Down)

Bethanny came over to see if Sonja would donate some cloths for a group called “Dress for Success” you know professional clothing for interviews.  Sonja had yacht jeans, satin shorts,and sequins. Ya think Sonja ever had a pedestrian job?  Ah, no! What were you thinking of Bethanny.

Speaking of Bethanny Frankel she is selling her apartment, that was held hostage.   Acquired while she was married ( she was married for two years-her divorce took four).  She wants to unload this apartment filled with bad memories.  Going against the advice of her realtor, she sold the apartment for nearly seven million dollars on the first day its was listed.  Stack your kash, SkinnyGirl!

Carole Radizwill is obsessed with the Presidential Elections and knows Hillary will take Trump in a landslide.   She and Adam are still going strong and living together (shacking up). The friendship between Dorinda Medley and Carole hit a bump last season.  The two met in Season 7.  Widowed, the two traveled London together as Carole had to relocated her husbands ashes. During that trip the two formed a close bond.  Dorinda went to Carole to repair the friendship and was successful. back on.

Dorinda is a fav, she pulls no punches.  She’s surprised to learn that two small bottles of water cost four dollars from a hot dog vendor. (memory serves-they normally cost a buck)    She looks him in the eyes, Four dollars?  Four dollar profit!

This is our first review of #RHONY if you like it, tell a friend.

Wait, tell EVERYBODY!

Next week, we get to meet the new girl.

Is she ready for Ramona, Bethanny and Dorinda?

Buckle UP Bitches!

Its all about #RHONY

CityFella

Refrigerated Mouse


In the fall we discovered there were mice in our Apartment. There were mice droppings near the front end of the apartment near our pantry.   The front left corner of the apartment was the communal dumping area.

It was the area you dropped food and packages from the long walk into the Apartment.   It was the place where you dropped everything to run to the nearby bathroom.

We planned an three day trip to Los Angeles before the Thanksgiving weekend.  This dinner was special, it would be the first time we would have our families over to our tiny apartment for Thanksgiving.  We bought the fixings before the holiday rush.  Including the stuffing mix, which was causally dropped off in the dumping area.

It occurred to me, with the mice being in the apartment,we might want to relocate the stuffing mix .

LA was fun, we left a day before the Thanksgiving rush we thought we would miss the traffic .  We thought, the six hour drive turned into 13 hours of stop and go traffic to the Bay Area

The plan was to hit the ground running to prepare the Thanksgiving dinner.  My wife went to the kitchen, I could hear the faucet running as she washed her hands.

As I was taking the luggage to the bedroom, my wife let out a bloodcurdling scream.  I dropped everything and ran toward the kitchen.

It seems a mouse had found its way into one of the bags of stuffing mix.

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Lets step inside the mind of the mouse

Oh Shit, I should have climbed out when the lights when on.  Don’t move, don’t breathe.  Okay Okay, just calm down. just calm down.   Well, at least I have food, its kinda bland but its food.   I’ll just wait a minute, and get out of dodge.

Damm!  its cold in here, what is this? Where am I?  Its cold, cold, cold, cold, cold. Where is the light.   I wonder what time is it? I bet Tracy is worried?  I bet she thinks I at Stacy’s house?  Oh shit?  Fuck ,I am freezing, what is this place?   I’m tired of this shit.  I could fucking die here.   I just wanna see light.   Light, light, light, light.  The first time I see light I’m outta here, I swear, I don’t’ fucking care anymore!  I don’t care if there is a cat in the light.   I’m out of here!

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My wife opened the Refrigerator door and a mouse bounced off her chest. For the next half hour she slapped her breasts.

For the next few days, I was in charge of things in the fridge.

The Real Housewives of Atlanta: S9 Ep19- “Presenting the Side Chick”


Season 9 has been one of the worst for RHOA.   The story lines has been fairly weak and it may be time for a cast shake up much like RHONY a few seasons back.

 Who should stay? Who should leave?  

I love Sheree Whitfield, and I want her to move into the Chateau, before one or more of the contractors take it from her.  I like her brand of spice, but story line?   Then there is the delicious Cynthia Bailey, of late she has been the sanity island is a bay of crazy but where is her storyline, now that Peters gone?     Porsha (Frack) Williams, baby and with the drama with Kandi in the books after the reunion, what’s next ?Then there is Frick,(Phaedra Parks) her story line has flatlined this season.   Kandi Burress alone is fair, but she has a solid supporting team from her ,Mama Joyce who could morph into Monster Joyce at any time, to her staff and other family members.    Kenya Moore knows how to stay relevant, she seems to be able to create her story line.  I’m not a fan but she holds her own.

Last night we discovered a friendship beginning between Kenya and Sheree who is determined to move into the Chateau even if it bores us to tears and kills her.  The two talked about their relationships Bob and Todd, moving on.

Kandi and Todd are stressed over condition of the Old Lady Gang restaurant before the soft opening with friends and family.   Todd is extra sensitive about the project and stubborn, he seems to reject any help from Kandi and her more than capable staff.  Kandi wants everything on point. She knows how vicious the ladies can be.  Adding another layer of stress is the fact the restaurant is hundred thousand over budget.

Todd, fetches Peter from the airport.  Peter is in town to support the Todd in the soft opening of the OLG restaurant.   They briefly talk about Apollo, who calls them in (evil side eye) in the truck.      In the truck, Apollo tells them of his side chick  (the two seem genuinely surprised) like dude, who is this woman, this one of the guards?   Noooo, this is real live lady.  WHO, he is going to send to the party to support them.   Really?  The woman he calls an upgrade.

After getting the side chick out of the way.  Home Cheese Nida, asked if Peter and Todd had seen his sons?   Todd, kept it real, with Kandi and Phaedra on the outs, he doesn’t see them and isn’t likely to see them until he is released.

Phaedra and Apollo’s divorce

‘It’s been real nasty, you know? When Phaedra came up here to visit me she told me everything was put on hold ’cause maybe deep down inside she might not want a divorce. ‘Then I got served the divorce papers saying she went ahead and proceeded forwards.’   Peter asked him if he felt Phaedra had ‘tricked’ him

‘Hell yeah. You know, they’re trying to rule in her favor. So right now I’m trying to fight that,’ said Apollo as he threatened to fight the whole thing through divorce court.’She has been playing me for who knows how long. I don’t even feel like she really loved me anyway. This is not how you treat someone you love,’ Apollo said.

Peter called her a con-artist.

Cynthia and Peters Divorce

Cynthia tells her daughter Noelle and Kenya her divorce to Peter is final.  There was/is real love between the two.  Cynthia nearly 50 knows she isn’t built for marriage and Peter is heartbroken.   Peter drives by the home they shared and is teary eyed.  At the party Peter is clearly moved and tries to avoid Cynthia.

Frick and Frack

Together they are hilarious.  Phaedra and Porsha.  Kandi invited Phaedra to the soft opening but she preferred to spend her birthday with frack.

Presenting the Side Chick 

The soft opening was a success.  Aunt Nora and Aunt Bertha is there. Missing is Mama Joyce who arrived late with her own bit of shade (but its Mama Joyce) the sisters agreed to wear white shirts and black slacks Joyce came in her own frock saying she didn’t get the memo.  (Shade)

Boom, I’m here,’ she said as she walked in to show support on behalf of Apollo.  The ladies looked at her as if to say, yeah Bitch! Who in the fuck are you?   Kenya, moved, she made a beeline to sit near Todd, so she could hear everything clearly.   On camera Todd said What am I supposed to do with this chick?’ I don’t want any problems.   Homey, you gone have problems with your wife!

Sidebar: The women I know would have tag teamed her ass. There would have been bits of weave throughout the restaurant.  Kandi and Phaedra aren’t cool but they are bonded.

When Sherien (the side chick) sat down with the Kandi. Kandi and Todd wanted to know how long she’s been the side chick?  Basically she wanted to know when this started?  ‘We found love, let’s put it that way’  Saying she and Apollo had been friends for four years.

Kandi then asked her if they ‘became more than friends’ before or after Apollo was jailed.  The side chick (matter of factly said) ‘Wifey wan’t around so I was there more than she was,’  ‘He’s been away for two years. She’s only been there twice,

Sidebar: Couldn’t you see the old lady gang pushing over the tables to give the side chick an old skol whoppin! But the cameras were on.

Now where ever prison Apollo’s in. They a very liberal inmate phone policy. 

Apollo calls, and tells the women he was STILL in process of getting divorced.  Everyone was taken aback.  Kandi said, This Just feels messy.  ‘I always thought you were a cool person but at the same time I feel awkward meeting your girlfriend, even though you are nice,’ 

‘I’m sick of Phaedra’s alternative facts, AKA lies. After she flipped the script on me in Hawaii, I just don’t believe anything she says ever,’ said Kenya.

Next Week is the Finale, Kim Zolciak returns …..

Beginning this week, we will Review Season 9 of Real Housewives of New York

Take a look

See ya next week

Cityfella