The Author of Boy Erased Hopes His Experience in Conversion Therapy Makes People Angry


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Focus Features

“I’m aiming an arrow directly into the heart of America.” That was Joel Edgerton’s promise to Boy Erased author Garrard Conley from the very beginning when Edgerton began writing and directing the film adaptation of Conley’s vulnerable memoir about his experience with “conversion therapy.”

By: Elena Hilton\Esquire.com

It was a risk for Conley to share his story in the first place, let alone allow other artists to interpret his life in the form of an Oscar-hopeful movie. But thankfully he took the leap, because the trauma he endured at Love in Action, an “ex-gay” Christian ministry that attempted to change people’s sexual orientation, is something that America desperately needs to recognize.

 

Currently, 15 states and Washington, D.C. have laws to protect minors from “conversion therapy” practices, and the Trump-Pence administration’s bigotry-laden rhetoric and policies are a stark reminder that the fight isn’t over. “We’re getting so close to the finish line that I’m becoming more radical and more of an activist each day,” Conley says.

Conley’s Southern, ultra-Christian upbringing—his father became a Baptist preacher in their small Arkansas town when Conley was a teenager—is similar to so many other LGBTQ adolescents who are still being told they’re wrong for who they are. The hope is that this film, along with Conley’s 2016 book, will open people’s eyes to the real effects that bigotry has on lives.

Prior to Boy Erased’s limited theatrical release (it opens in theaters this weekend), I sat down with Conley to talk about what it was like seeing his memoir translated into a Hollywood film and how he’s used his experiences to become an activist for the LGBTQ community.

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Joel Edgerton directs a scene in Boy Erased Focus Features

Joel Edgerton proved right away why he was the best person to adapt Boy Erased.

At first I was very nervous about the whole thing, partly because I hadn’t met a lot of movie stars—I’m just not in that world, I’m a writer. Just going into the meeting with Joel was stressful, but then I was like, “He’s a straight guy, what’s he going to do the story? We’ve been burned before.” But at our first meeting he asked to meet with other conversion therapy survivors in addition to me, and I loved the fact that he wanted to hear all of our stories.

Plus, I had just watched Loving, which he was in. It was a movie about the first interracial marriage and all the legal battles that went along with that, and he was using that publicity tour to talk about marriage equality now, much to the detriment to some of the family that was involved with the making of that film because they didn’t actually want that. [Edgerton] was like “I don’t care, I’m not going to work with a film that doesn’t recognize bigotry across the board.” So I already knew that he was a good ally, but he also asked if I wanted to write the script. I said I couldn’t write it again for a different audience and I don’t know how to “Hollywood-up” a story. So he wrote a script really rapidly, and throughout the process he made me feel better by always sending me the drafts of the script and asking if there was anything problematic or anything that didn’t feel right, and he would change it anytime I said there was an issue.

Conley fought to keep the ending of the movie similar to his real-life experience.

I think there’s a natural desire to have Russell Crowe’s character [Crowe plays Conley’s father] to come around and show what that kind of acceptance would look like. And I can see why that kind of editorial vision would exist, because it gives parents a path for rehabilitation. But I strongly argued for a closer truth, which is that it’s still complicated, and my dad’s not completely there yet. The film might lose a bit of money because it doesn’t have the redemptive arc for the parents that the studio originally wanted, but I pushed pretty hard on making it complicated at the end because I knew other survivors hadn’t had happy stories with their parents. So [Edgerton] changed that, and one of the producers was like, “Well, we might have just lost millions of dollars, but good job with your principles.”

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                  Author Garrard Conley on the set of Boy Erased with Lucas Hedges

Kyle Kaplan/Focus Features

He was blown away by Lucas Hedges, who plays him in the movie.

Lucas is a dream. The first time we met, we were walking around DUMBO, and he said, “You know, I wasn’t going to do this, but do you want to come back to my apartment and talk?” He still has a room in his father’s [director Peter Hedges] house. So we went over there and he invited me into his childhood bedroom and said, “If you’re going to show me everything, then I need to show you everything.” And then he showed me his copy of my book, which was marked up on every page. I felt it was the greatest tribute someone who was going to play me could do. I was already pretty convinced, and then when Lucas started to share his identity on the spectrum with me—he wasn’t quite aware of where he was, but he knew that he wasn’t entirely straight—that was the last hurdle where I thought, “Okay, this guy can play it.

He’d explained to me a sense of shame that he’d felt, and he later talked about it in the New York magazine piece, and he wasn’t really specific about it, but he did tell me he that he thought he was fluid in some way. So he had the shame aspect, and the actual identity, so that was going to play well on the screen. And he’s phenomenal in it. [His performance] is understated in many ways, but it’s very accurate. The way he’s able to depict fear and shame on his face is actually really terrifying. He’s my favorite thing in the movie. Just watching him is mesmerizing.

Writing the memoir was an emotionally draining, but necessary, experience.

Boy Erased: A Memoir of Identity, Faith, and Family
RIVERHEAD amazon.com$10.87

I had to really look at it like a story, which is hard to do, because you have to cut through all the trauma and, in many ways, the false memories you’ve created to get over stuff and to go back to those places mentally which is incredibly difficult. And it’s harmful for the people around you—my boyfriend at the time suffered through a lot of episodes where I was not okay. He was always like, “Why are you doing this to yourself, why are you writing this?” And I didn’t always have a clear answer to that, it was just that I had to.

Any time you turn anything into a story, you lose the “life-iness” of it, because you’ve got to shape it into art, and that feels uncomfortable because it’s all true, all these things happened, but you’re shaping it for an audience. It feels like a bit of a sacrifice because I’m very precious with my memories and my internal account of things. And whenever you’re told that you’re crazy or corrupt in some way, you’re a little suspicious about putting it out there into the world again. But I did it because, from the very beginning, with the book and this film, the project has been to make something compelling enough to drive the conversation forward. I’d seen the same old arguments and the same old depictions of conversion therapy over and over again, which is it’s a joke, it’s a farce, and it’s not true. It’s soul murder, and I wanted that story to be told.

The memoir was released before Trump’s election, and Conley probably wouldn’t have written the same version now.

It’s a very anti-LGBT administration. It was so different, rhetorically, to humanize people like my parents or even the [conversion therapy] counselors when Obama was president than it is right now to humanize them, because it’s almost asking too much empathy from people who feel like their lives are on the line. I don’t know if I would have written the same book right now. I think I would have been angrier and I might not have been so forgiving, so it might actually not have worked as well to write it now.

There is kind of a weird irony in the fact that because all the stuff came out about Mike Pence supporting conversion therapy, it’s actually made conversion therapy a headline and now it’s easier to get people’s attention. I wouldn’t say I’m grateful for it, but it’s an opportunity. It’s unfortunate, but this is something the right has been invested in for a very long time. They’ll throw [the LGBTQ community] under a bus at any moment just to score political points.

We’re definitely at a turning point. It’s either going to go, hopefully, in the way of, “Let’s stop pretending respectability politics exist and let’s be as radical as we need to be in order to get shit done,” but it could easily go the other way.

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Nicole Kidman and Russell Crowe in Boy Erased Focus Features

He hopes people realize that conversion therapy and toxic masculinity affects everyone.

One of things I always say is conversion therapy doesn’t have to be done in a facility. If you’re taught to be a “certain type of man”, to act a certain way, and you’re taught by authority figures that being gay is evil, then that’s conversion therapy too. Conversion therapy can function as a metaphor for the kinds of brainwashing that we’ve all been given. Once you’re done looking at everyone’s side of the story, you can begin to see a system in place that harms everyone.

I often think about how I feel ashamed to be a man in this culture, and I talked to a trans activist named Thomas Page McBee who wrote Amateur and Man Alive about those feelings, and he was like, “You need to consider the fact that you’re harming yourself whenever you believe that masculinity is one thing and that it’s just the toxic brand.” It was just so eye-opening to hear that from someone like him who’d grown up conditioned to be a woman, then transitioned to a man, and had to deal with all that bullshit. I realized we need to look at the systems in place, and those systems can turn people into monsters.

Activists should recognize that there’s not a one-size-fits-all solution.

Faith is such a strange thing. It can be an incredibly powerful tool to survive something and it can also be something that keeps you locked in a fundamentalist worldview for a very long time. It covers up the moments of doubt. Getting out of that system is incredibly difficult. There are a lot of activists who call for people to move out of their towns and go somewhere else, but they’re often forgetting that people don’t have money, they don’t have the social capabilities to even do that without getting lost in the shuffle.

They also kind of ignore the psychological toil that comes from splitting from everything you’ve ever known. It’s not easy, and I think in larger metropolitan areas there can be a tendency to forget what it’s like to be on the ground in many of these towns across the country, and even if we don’t want to, we have to educate people who have perpetuated this bigotry from the very beginning.

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Garrard Conley and his mother, Martha, on the set of Boy Erased Kyle Kaplan/Focus Features

Conley’s own relationship with the South and Christianity is still evolving.

I try to be a strong voice for the South being a complex place, because I do believe there are pockets of real, amazing, radical work that’s being done in the South. Even in the more fundamentalist communities, there are people within that are fighting the good fight. That being said, I think the South and many churches have not reckoned with their past. There are affirming churches who do not talk about what they did in terms of conversion therapy and the lives that were lost as a result of the choices that they made, and I call bullshit on that.

They need to hold themselves accountable, just like they did in terms of how they treated other races or what they did with slavery in the past. They should continue to talk about that, because unless you do, you’re not going to have any moral standing whatsoever. You’re trying to say “come here, learn how to be a good person,” but how are you going to do that if you don’t address the horrible things that you’ve done to the [LGBTQ] community? And if you just say, “I did it out of love, but it was wrong, and I’m sorry,” then that’s fine, I’m okay with that. But you’ve got to say something.

In terms of my own personal faith, I’ve actually begun praying a lot more lately, which is an unusual and unexpected development. I don’t necessarily believe in fate, but I do feel like I’m in a very intense position with a lot of responsibility in terms of how I represent the survivor groups, how I represent LGBT people through the culture at large, and how I can end conversion therapy, while not sacrificing our community to do so. Because that’s incredibly confusing and scary to me, I’ve just started praying, and I don’t know who I’m praying to, but I try to just ask for guidance in some way.

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India: Future of romance in #MeToo era


Future of romance in #MeToo era

 

Man-woman interactions have never been easy. But now every exchange seems officiated. Words are closely evaluated, by both men (before) and women (after).

By Hemant Morparia\Mumbi Mirror 

I have to start with a disclaimer here: the concept of romantic love is alien to me. The title of this piece presupposes that romance had a past. A casual peek into history tell us that ‘romantic love’ was, in fact, invented by wandering 12th century troubadours in France (where else?). It was a clever, fiendish ploy that depended on mutual self-deception, in order to, well, get some… um, you know, (unsuitable word alert) ‘action’.

I have, in my life, not seen any couple that continues to be in thrall of romantic love for any significantly meaningful length of time. Any talk of romance brings to my mind a cartoon by Mick Stevens published in the New Yorker (see, only cartoonists quote other cartoonists by name. All others just quote the publication). The cartoon shows a couple on a boat ride in an amusement park’s ‘tunnel of love’. You can see the tunnel’s exit: the boat with the couple is about to land into cesspool of effluents, garbage and other stranded couples. Cartoonists get it right pretty often, I’d say.

Actually, I have to make a correction —I have known just one couple which continues to be madly in love, and with an intensity that increases on a daily basis. Let me introduce Exhibit A. On my way to the gym each evening, for the past few years, I have been seeing a couple, a male and a female. They are rag pickers who live in abject poverty on the footpath, with no roof over their head. When they interact with each other, however, I see their mutual, fixed gaze; the world is dead to them in that moment. When the man is away, I see the woman stand for long, gazing in the direction of his expected arrival. On my way back, at night, they are asleep in each other’s arms. The relationship is not one founded on something transnational or conditional. It couldn’t possibly be. In this primal and feral state, they have nothing, and they have everything. They have love.

Cut to the present. Man-woman interactions have never been easy. They are equally a playground as they are a minefield. All men have had, at some point or other in their lives, some unsavory thoughts about women. Some men, drunk on power or fame, have quite brazenly acted them out. Women are speaking out now and it’s about time too. Women are looking askance in the direction of all men. The regular, non guilty men are the ones who are clueless in this crossfire, and the angry women aren’t helping. Every exchange between the sexes now seems officiated. Words, spoken or written, get carefully evaluated and weighed, by both men (before) and women (after). What is said and what is meant or implied in this climate of distrust are considered exclusive. A minor slip could result in the ‘Gotcha!’ moment. For example, can a man say, ‘Are you the new, hot yoga teacher?’, with zero risk today? Even punctuation marks need careful attention. A comma can break a sentence, but what of a missing one? That could break bones. Try ‘I love cooking my girlfriend and my pets’. Outrage is guaranteed from humorless Twitterati and the Shouting Heads In TV Studios (SHITS) will be shouting for your head on a platter! Out of instincts of self-preservation then, male-female interactions are fast simulating the way porcupines make love (‘very, very carefully’) and without the porcupiny tenderness.
It seems that every woman is angry today (I carefully chose the word ‘angry’ here instead of ‘mad’) and every man a bit confused and unsure. I drew a cartoon recently in which the song line ‘Tumko mujh se pyaar hai? Na na na na na na na’, from the cult film Aradhana, ends with the director yelling “Cut – end of song. NO means NO!”. When I posted it on social media, several women felt hurt and objected to it. Someone even summarised Aradhana as a misogynistic film which devalued womanhood (!) and promoted patriarchy (!!). It would be all very funny if it was not so sad. If both sexes continue the present downward trajectory of interactions, which are now getting to be without nuance, leeway or spontaneity, then I am afraid, there will be little to hold us together. As it is very little does.

I believe that the human male and the human female are two entirely different species. There may be more in common between a male human and a male chimp than a human male and a human female. In due course, men will eventually go their own way. So will women. As they retreat to Hisland and Herland, there will be little meaning to life and its activities. We will cease to do, build, create, compose, communicate, play or laugh, the very basis of all civilization. There will be no motivation to do all that. We shall, each gender separately that is, return to a state of chaos, anomie and primal poverty. From those feral, dystopic lands, one day, a single man and a single woman, both having nothing, will lock gaze. Their eyes will light up as they see a faint but distinct possibility of having everything.

Even love.
Post script: here is an exercise for you: what is the right way to punctuate ‘woman without her man is nothing’? (Both possible answers taken together only are correct.)

Giving Gyan

 

Facts Fiction and Don Lemon


CNN anchor Don Lemon on a Wednesday evening segment of CNN Live.

Perhaps there would be less outrage if the story was told by Wolf Blitzer or Jake Tapper.

There are many white men who are OUTRAGED!!!   Here you have a black man stirring the racist pot.    IF a white man said something about a Black man, they’d lose their jobs.    Megan Kelly lost her job over “Blackface’ so here we have a black man calling white men terrorist, he should lose his job is only fair!

There are white men in this rapidly changing world who believe that they are under attack.  It had gone too far and it far more difficult to be a white man in America and this morning advertisers and CNN will  demand that Don Lemon lose his job.

THE OUTRAGE

In the course of a week, 14 bombs were mailed to prominent Democrats.  On Wednesday, a white man attempted to enter a black church in Jeffersontown, Kentucky. Fifteen minutes later, he drove to near by Kroger Supermarket and killed two black people.  As the gunman passed a white shopper in the parking lot he said, I won’t shoot you. Whites don’t shoot whites.”   Saturday, a white man entered a synagogue and killed 11 worshipers and wounded six others including four Police Officers.

Cnn’s Don Lemon said Trump would have people believe immigrants are to be feared, but statistics reveal the biggest threats are home-grown.   He went on to say, we have to stop demonizing people and realize that the biggest terror threat in this country is white men, most of them radicalized to the right, and we have to start doing something about them. So ,have to start doing something about them. There is no travel ban on them. There is no ban — you know, they had the Muslim ban. There is no white-guy ban. So what do we do about that?”

“the biggest terror threat in this country is white men.”

This is what some people heard!   Other’s heard he called for a “white guy ban”               Fox news said Lemon was ranting!   Others called him a racist!

You decide, Listen. 

There are many in this country who supported the Presidents ban on Muslims and individuals from the middle east based on a unsupported belief that, Muslims hate Americans and want to destroy America.    The facts are white men are the principle source of terrorism in the United States and no one is proposing a ban on “white men” this is what I believe Mr Lemon meant.

When its not Fake News

Since 9/11 attacks in 2001, far-right violent extremists have killed 106 people in 62 attacks in the United States, while radical Islamist violent extremists have killed 119 people in 23 attacks.

https://www.gao.gov/assets/690/683984.pdf

From  2008 to 2016, there were almost twice as many terrorist incidents carried out on U.S. soil by right-wing extremists — many of whom are white — than by Islamist extremists.  It showed there were 115 incidents involving right-wing extremists and that those that ended in death were more deadly than incidents carried out by other groups.

https://www.revealnews.org/article/home-is-where-the-hate-is/

An analysis of the Global Terrorism Database by researchers at the University of Maryland published in 2017 shows a “sharp increase”in the share of attacks by right-wing extremists, from 6% in the 2000s to 35% in the 2010s. The share of attacks by religious extremists also increased, from 9% to 53% between the two decades.

https://qz.com/1435885/data-shows-more-us-terror-attacks-by-right-wing-and-religious-extremists/

White supremacists in the United States killed more than twice as many people in 2017 as they did the year before, and were responsible for far more murders than domestic Islamic extremists, helping make 2017 the fifth deadliest year on record for extremist violence in America, a new report states.

https://www.adl.org/news/press-releases/adl-report-white-supremacist-murders-more-than-doubled-in-2017

Politics of Fear

For decades,some members of the GOP have demonized immigrants from Mexico. They were accused of  straining our resources and crossing the border to have babies and to get on welfare.

Presidential Candidate Donald Trump took it further, he said the people coming from Mexico were bringing drugs, bringing crime and-they’re rapist.   There isn’t any subjective data that supports any of these claims.

A point of reference for some against Mexican immigration is the murder of Arizona Rancher Rob Krentz in 2010.   Krentz’s property is near the Mexican border. The Krentz family was accustomed to undocumented migrants crossing their 35,000 acres.  Because of this, many assumed he was killed by one of those undocumented migrants. His widow was convinced his was killed by an illegal immigrant. After an extensive search, no one has been linked to his murder.  Today, many are convinced he was killed by a Mexican national.

Less than a year after the Death of Mr Krentz.  Arizona passed a law requiring anyone suspected of being in US illegally to produce papers to the police.

 

Race Baiting 2018 (Donald Trump’s Evil Caravan)

Before I talk about our president current attempt to inject white fear in the midterms, I want to look back a few years.

But first thing’s first! What is “Race Bating?:    The unfair use of statements about race to try to influence the actions or attitudes of a particular group of people

A look Back to 1986

In 1986, a convicted felon named Willie Horton — who was serving a life sentence for murder — was released from a Massachusetts prison on a weekend furlough program, during which time he escaped and raped a woman. Then-governor Michael Dukakis had supported the prison furlough program, and when he ran for President in 1988, his opponent, George H. W. Bush, used that to his advantage. The “Revolving Door” ad never mentions Horton by name, but the connection was clear and the ad received considerable news coverage.

Bush Played on the fears of whites who were terrified of blacks.

2018, President Trump,  has told his base a Caravan is coming, filled with thugs, bad people, including people from the middle east.   He has a few days to convince his base these horrific people filled with diseases  (so says Fox News) will be here at any moment.  In a world where facts don’t matter.  These terrible people are walking and they only have 800 miles to reach our borders.  Tuesday, if you believe the president. Bringing lawless people who will kill the men and rape the women. (a small exaggeration)

The footage is several years old and his story about Democrats allowing illegals in is patently false.  Donald Trump is doubling down on his attack on brown skinned people using fear to get them to the ballot box.

Luis Bracamontes was first deported to his native Mexico in 1997, during the Clinton administration, after he was busted selling drugs. But, according to U.S. Immigration officials, Bracamontes managed return to the United States by 2001, when he was deported a second time for being in the country illegally. That was during the first year of the Bush administration.

Bracamontes was back in America again by 2002. He married a U.S. citizen and remained in the country even as the Bush administration deported people at a record rate, topped only by the Obama administration.

When Bracamontes shot and killed the two Sacramento county deputies in 2014, he had been deported once under a Democratic administration and once under a Republican administration. He had been back in the United States for at least six years during the Bush administration and five years under the Obama administration.  He is currently on death row in San Quentin.

It’s 2018

Perhaps, some white men would have been more comfortable with CNN’s Jake Tapper or  Wolf Blitzer talking about this subject.   One would think, in 2018 we are beyond this. Apparently not.

By the reaction,s only black people should talk about black on black crime in cities like Chicago or Detroit.  Or Hispanics in El Paso or Albuquerque.     Don Lemon ins’t racist, he didn’t attack white men, he talked about the news and the double standard.

I can’t remember a time when a white reporter was dismissed after reading statics about black people or any other persons of color.     I can remember when a reporter or personality was dismissed after saying  spic, called black women nappy headed hoes, fag and other disparaging words or terms on air.   Blackface, hasn’t been acceptable since the 1930’s neither are insulting ethnic impersonations.

 It’s 2018, come on America, come on

 

CityFella

Colorado man gets pee deal from court


Last May, 45 year Michael Allen Haag had a few too many on the Frontier Flight F9864  from Denver to Charleston, South Carolina.

After two double shot vodka tonics, Haag who was excited about meeting up with an old girlfriend got handsy with some of the female passengers on the flight.    He asked one woman (as she was trying to sleep) “what kind a man she liked?” and about “her relationship with her husband”, while looking at her legs and chest.  When she protested he asked her “what her deal was?

After ordering his second drink, he moved onto another woman sitting next to him.  This woman was sleep and Haag started touching her fingers and moved on to her leg.  The woman yelled, “stop touching me!!” and “back off”   Haag, apologized and then touched her leg again.  He started touching her and she stood up  yelling for flight attendants .

There were many witness on this flight.  The flight attendants exiled Mr Haag to the very last row of the plane.   Michael Allen Haag was far and away the STAR of this flight.  Passengers took picture as Mr Haag, peed on the seat in front of him.

Weeeeee

For those wanting to follow along with the flight attendant,you may want to sniff before reading.

After, the peeing incident, the attendants moved Mr Haag to the front of the plane.   Mr Haag was arrested in Charleston.     He was charged with interfering with a flight crew, a felony, and a misdemeanor indecent exposure count.    If convicted, he would have to pay a fine and faced up to 20 years in prison.
After posting a $25,000 bond, Mr Haag agreed to refrain from the use of any alcohol.
A few weeks ago The US District Court of South Carolina as a part of a plea deal reduced his misdemeanor assault for groping.   He may face a fine and up to one year in prison.
News at 11
CityFella
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Anita, Miguel, Connie and 29 million Hispanics are eligible to vote in November


Image result for hispanics I voted stickers

Photo:Google

Anita, Miguel, and Connie are dear friends and family members.  TWENTY NINE MILLION HISPANICS are eligible to vote in the midterm elections next month.  If just 40 percent of Hispanics vote in the elections next month it could change the political  landscape of the United States.  And should Hispanics continue to vote in large numbers it will change how politicians view Hispanics.

Just 40 Percent

In an ideal world, everyone eligible to vote should vote.  If forty percent of  Hispanic voters voted in border states of Arizona and Texas it would change the direction of those states and the country.   40% of  Hispanics would determine who would be Governor, who would represent them in Congress and the Senate.

While Hispanics is far in away the fastest growing demographic, voter turnout is low.   Four years ago, only 27% of eligible Hispanic voters participated.  Verses 46% of white and 41% of black voters.

Why is Voting Important? 

Miguel , it’s is the only time when YOU have a say in what happens in your country, in your state, in your city, and who the best people to choose to operate the schools in your school district.   Its not just choosing a president, governor or mayor.   Next month voters will vote on issues that directly effects them in their state, city, town and county.  A single vote could change the direction of your community.

  Choose the party and individuals who best represent your values and issues that are important to you.

Despite the size of the Hispanics community. (The largest non white population in the country)  the community is under represented.  As a result, issues important to Hispanics are not seen as a priority and this isn’t like to change until a larger percentage of Hispanics vote and elect more Hispanics to office.

Anita, there was a time in United States when only white men could vote.  Not women or any person who wasn’t white.   Early on, black voters understood the power of the ballot box. Blacks voting  in large numbers, were elected to boards, councils, became Mayors, elected to Congress, became Governors, elected to the Senate and in 2008, Barack Obama was the first non white individual to become President of the United States.

For years, blacks fought for the right to vote.  People were killed attempting to vote and as the courts slowly agreed that blacks and all Americans could vote.  Communities began making it difficult to blacks to vote.  In 2018, history is repeating itself.  Some communities and states are attempting to suppress the black vote.

“Remember”

 

There are 435 members in the US House of Representatives (Congress)

And

100 US Senators

Hispanics are 18% of the US Population and occupy 46 seats in Congress*

 Senator Marco Rubio, Florida 

Senator Catherine Cortez Masto, Nevada

Senator Bob Menendez, New Jersey

Blacks are 13% of the Us Population and occupy 51 seats in Congress*

 Senator Kamala, Harris California 

Senator Cory Booker, New Jersey

Senator Tim Scott, South Carolina

Asians are 6% of the US population and occupy 15 seats in Congress*

Senator Mazie Hirono ,Hawaii

Senator Tammy Duckworth ,Illinois 

Connie, you and I registered here in Sacramento County in 2016.  If you choose, you can vote today using your absentee ballot.  I would like to suggest a calling your friends and family  via email and social media and make a pac to vote where every one is accountable to each other as it was 2016. We celebrated with a crazy pizza party. 

 Two years ago, we took videos with our (I voted sticker) on and posted those videos on Facebook     I regret not taking your boys.  It’s important that they be apart of the process.  

Remember,even if your guy or issue loses. If forty percent of Hispanics continue to participate in the  elections, there will be less chatter about immigration and deportations.   Other issues that are near and dear to the community will be seen in a new light.   

“I promise”   

(Feel Free to Share this with your friends)

Vote!  Vote!  Vote!

 

Cityfella

(You Know)

   * 2016 Population

15 Things You Do Because You’re Still In Love With Your Ex


Image result for chinese woman

Photo: Google

1. You still think about what-ifs

You think about the what-ifs and what-nots. You evaluate your worth what you could have done right or wrong that did not the materialize the break-up.

2. You stalk his social media accounts often

The easiest way to know whether he is missing you or not, or for that matter if somebody else is missing him or not, is to stalk his social media accounts.

3. You regret losing your true love

You regret losing him. You go back to time all the time and regret the times you rebuked him or agreed to have broken up with him.

4. You compare him with other people

Inadvertently you end up comparing him with every other guy. Nobody can match up with his obsession for X-box. For you, he makes the best cheese sandwich in the whole world. You feel nobody is good enough besides him.

5. Too many hookups

To channelize your inner anger and frustrations, you take shelter in the form of meaningless sex. Later, again you berate yourself for letting someone else for touching you in places where you actually yearn to be touched by your ex.

6. Overthinking about the time spent

Yes, you think and over think the good, bad and ugly times in your head again and again. You nitpick everything he did. Not only that you try to justify his every action in your head.

7. You find reasons to contact him

It does not matter how silly or big the occasion is. It may be your best friend’s birthday or the bad omelet you had in your breakfast, you try to contact him for the silliest reason.

8. You go back to the happy times

For you, he is the most important milestone in your life. What better to celebrate your life than reminiscing about the happy times you have had — the cuddles, quickies, the stares, you go back to every happy time.

9. You have a hard time coming to terms with rejection

You cannot still come to terms why he broke up with you. You question yourself all the time. Your ex is such a sensitive topic for you that your parents and friends hesitate to bring his name or an instance pertaining to him in front of him.

10. No future plans

You do not know what lies ahead of your future. You just cannot see yourself kissing another man or walking the aisle for another person.

11. You still talk about him

He invariably is a part of your conversation. He is not anymore present in your life. But you keep bringing him back his context in your conversations with your friends.

12. You stay in contact with his friends and family

You cannot get over the fact that he has moved on from you. So, you try and invent ways to keep tabs on him. It kills you to not know what he is doing at present. You are still in contact with his best friend or sister to get scoops from his life. You want to know, “Does he miss me?” You want to the new girl who he is dating. You try to gauge how serious they are.

13. You still have hope

The most obvious sign that you still are not over your ex, is that you still have hopes of patching things up with your ex.

14. Having doubts about you

You still have not recuperated from your bitter break up. It has taken a toll on your confidence that you fear if you can do something perfectly.

15. You do not date at all

He is so deeply invaded your blood that you do find anybody dateable at all. No matter if the guy looks like Ryan Reynolds, has money worth Mark Zuckerberg, or has the heart of James Harrison nobody is good enough for you to date.

Breakups are messy and moving on is difficult. But life goes on. Try to move on from the one that got away. Because the best is awaiting you.

The Minds Journal is a platform that brings together writers and readers from across the world to share thoughts that promote self-development.

WATCH: How Do I Stop Fantasizing About My Ex?

The Minds Journal is a platform that brings together writers and readers from across the world to share thoughts that promote self-development.

Desperate Times For The GOP


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Did he or didn’t he?

We may never know.  Today, after all the polls are conducted, the Republicans are in a lose lose proposition.  Support Kavanugh and deepen the divide with women voters or pull Kavanaugh and lose their evangelical support.  Devout christians have tolerated Trump, so that they would have a strong conservative in the Supreme Court.  At 53,   Judge Kavanaugh could be on the bench thirty to forty years.

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Judge Brett Kavanaugh has baggage. 100,000 pages of baggage, withheld by the Trump Administration.    People who knows him ,says he is aggressive when he drinks.  He has Roy Moore baggage, where three women,(so far) who do not know each other has accused him of getting aggressive with women.

Epic Fail?

rachel mitchell

 

Rachel Mitchell was the designated mouthpiece for the old white men club.  Her role was to discredit Professor Ford in manner they could not.  However, Professor Ford, was impossible to annihilate.   Not only did Ford answer every question, she readily admitted to her own errors.

When it was time for Judge Kavanagh to speak, they were clearly done with her.  Unlike Professor Ford, Judge Kavanagh, was defiant, combative with the Senators and refused to answer twenty persent of the questions.

The Judge said: This is destroyed my family and my good name. A good name built up through decades of very hard work and public service at the highest levels of the American government. This whole two-week effort has been a calculated and orchestrated political hit,” 

“Fueled with apparent pent-up anger about President Trump and the 2016 election, fear that has been unfairly stoked about my judicial record, revenge on behalf of the Clintons and millions of dollars in money from outside left-wing opposition groups.

The Judge cried and yelled.  He says he has never raped anyone!  He repeatedly spoke of his diligence as a student and of his positions in sports.  I think Trumps base was proud. Tomorrow is another day.

There were other judicial choices, but he chose Kavanaugh, a choice with 100,000 page mystery.  Yes, these are super ugly partisan times.   Yes, like the Republicans, I believe the leak of Professor Fords info to the press was intentional and it has cost her.

I also believe, by the end of weekend she will be seen as hero.  Meanwhile, the clock is quickly winding down on the GOP and the news isn’t good.   Every day the wait the risk another woman coming forward. If the vote goes down party lines, they can’t afford to lose more than two votes.  As the Repulican Senators made very clear today, they do not have any interest of an FBI inquiry.

Theyr are down to two options.   Quickly install the tainted Judge Kavanaugh in the next few weeks and lose more Independents and women,or start the process over with a new candidate and losing the Evangelical base.

News at 11

CityFella