Is your Wifi in Italy fast enough to let you FaceTime? Photo: Vincenzo Pinto/AFP
I was within a few feet of Sacramento’s former City Manager John Shirley when he announced, Sleep Train could not compete with the new arena. Something about a non-competing clause. Sealing the fate of the 30 year old complex.
Arco, (now Sleep Train) opened in 1988, cost a mere 40 million (below average in 1988) dollars to build. Sixteen years after it opened, the Maloof family, then owners of the Sacramento Kings deemed Arco inadequate and wanted the taxpayers of Sacramento to construct a new 600 million dollar Arena for the team. The voters told the billionaires owners of the Las Vegas Palm hotel, no..
The original home of the Sacramento Kings ,the Sacramento Sports Arena (opened in 1985) The arena had just over 10,000 seats. Small by NBA standards. The name was later changed to Arco Arena. Today, the building at 1625 North Market still operational as an office building
While Arco Architect Rann Haight said the arena could be modified and expanded. The City of Sacramento fearing the Kings would leave,joined the Maloof’s chorus insisting there were no fixes that could improve Arco Arena.
The land the Arena sits on is massive, only the airport has more parking spaces. The City once considered building a new stadium for the Oakland/Los Angeles Raiders next to Arco. Other visionaries, envisioned a complex with fields for soccer, volleyball, rugby, Little League baseball, softball and other non-professional sports. It could include a small, 10,000-seat stadium. For many Sacramentians its location near Interstates 5 and 80 was ideal.
To remain competitive in an ever changing marketplace Older arenas are routinely updated. Again this isn’t true of Arco, as the arena aged the owners (Maloofs) assuming they would eventually move to a new Arena ,made no significant improvements to Arco .
Magicians In Oakland and Seattle
When Oracle (Oakland Coliseum) Arena opened in 1966, its capacity was 15,000. After a major renovation in the late nineties, 4000 seats and luxury boxes were added to the facility without removing any exterior walls.
The Key Arena opened in 1962 in Seattle . The has been renovated three times, when it open its capacity was 13,200 when the current renovation is completed in 2021, it will increase to 18,600.
Arco/Sleep Train was one of the busiest Arenas on the West coast. Hosting more than 200 events a year. The Arena had hosted international acts: Tina Turner, Beyonce, Justin Bieber, and Garth Brooks. Until it wasn’t. Peeling paint, a leaking ceiling and an indifferent landlord.
West Coast Arenas currently in operation.
The 17,000 seat,Arco Arena opened in 1988.
The 16,000 seat, Cow Place opened in 1941
12,000 seat, Veterans Memorial Coliseum (Portland ) opened in 1961
17,000 Key Arena (Seattle) opened in 1962
19,000 seat Oracle (Oakland Coliseum) opened in 1966
17,000 seat Perchanga (San Diego Sports Arena) opened in 1966
17,000 seat Forum (Inglewood) opened in 1967
17,000 seat SAP (San Jose Arena (San Jose) opened in 1993
21,000 seat Staples Center opened in 1999
The City of Sacramento has a large ($255 million) debt in the Golden One Center, which may not paid for several decades. This debt, doesn’t include the future upgrades the Kings will demand from the city to remain competitive with other NBA arenas.
Sacramento doesn’t want any competition to Golden One. College and High Schools Commencement events were redirected (at a higher cost) from Sleep Train to Golden One.
The city doesn’t see the long term benefits of keeping Sleep Train. Unlike the Convention Center, Sleep Train can accommodate events that the Convention Center and Golden One cannot. Rent for the newly renovated Convention Center, and Golden One will be significantly higher than Sleep Train resulting in some shows, religious organizations to bypass Sacramento. Events that would generate revenue to businesses in Natomas and generating additional tax dollars for city.
NBA organizations like the Sacramento Kings are not in the business of being landlords. However, Kings owners Vivek Ranadive and Partners are businessmen. The Arena is worth much more in its present condition than rubble. Perhaps they signed a blood oath with the City preventing them from placing the building on the market. Even in its present condition the building is worth considerably more than 40 million it cost to construct in 1988.
Over two million people live in the Sacramento Metro Area. Sacramento is currently the fastest growing large city in the starte. This region can support two Arena. Fresno, (metro population 1,1 million) has two operating arenas. The 12,000 seat Selland Arena opened in 1966 and the 16,000 seat Save Mart Center opened in 2003. The Selland Arena is located in the Fresno Convention Center complex downtown. Updates have kept the 53 year old venue competitive. Sleep Train hasn’t received any major updates since its opening in 1988
Golden One Center is a success. Pollstar a trade publication for the concert industry. Ranked Golden One Center #9 in the United States and #18 in the world, selling over 150,000 tickets to arena events from November 22, 2018, to February 20, 2019. Golden 1 Center was also the only Northern California arena to make the top 20 in Pollstar’s first-quarter ticket sales rankings.
Bulldozing Sleep Train is shortsighted. Acts are choosing and will continue to choose Golden One based on its reputation. The City of Sacramento is spending more than 200 million dollars to expand the Convention Center, which includes improvements to the Memorial Auditorium and renovating Community Center Theater. Sleep Train can be marketed as secondary events complex, hosting events like RV’s shows. Conferences too large for the Convention Center and shows can not afford the fees at Golden One.
There are nearly 1400, rooms within five miles of Sleep Train . Upgrading Sleep Train is considerably less than building or expanding any venue downtown. With its acreage, it has the flexibility to host larger sporting events than UC Davis and Sacramento State Combined.
Jehovah’s Witness and Aftershock
The Jehovah’s Witness Convention is far and away the Convention Centers largest client. Last year, the Witnesses moved their meetings from the Cow Palace outside of San Francisco to Sacramento. Last year their meetings were held at Sleep Train. Last year the city said the Witness’s brought $28 million to city . In that same year, the manager of the Malabar restaurant on Del Paso Road welcomed the business. “ With Sleep Train just sitting there being empty we’re losing a lot of money and a lot of business, so 16 weekends out of the year sounds great to me.”
This year they will meet in Sleep Train, while the Convention Center is renovated. Between May and September there will be 16 events at Sleep Train. Averaging nearly 11,000 attendees per weekend, more Jehovah’s Witness Conventions are held in Sacramento than anywhere on the west coast. Last year,despite the aesthetics (weeds) some of the attendees said they preferred the Sleep Train location over the Convention Center due to the availability of near by moderately priced hotels.
Many businesses in Natomas felt the absence of Sleep Train. Many of them saw in increases in business last year when the venue held the Jehovah’s Witness Convention. Like many religious organizations there is no charge to attend the convention. As a result this organization hold their events in secondary locations. For years, their events were held at the Cow Palace. The Cow Palace may be in its final days, a victim of age and location. Golden One, The Oracle in Oakland, the SAP in San Jose and the new Chase arena in San Francisco are too expensive for organizations like the Jehovah’s Witnesses Its very possible they may outgrown the Convention Center and without the option of Sleep Train, leave Sacramento for Fresno, Stockton, Long Beach or Reno .
Sacramento’s largest two day event is Aftershock, it is held the 2nd week on October. Attendance has grown steadily through the years, from 35,000 attendees to 60, 000 last year, making it one of the largest music events on the West Coast.
The Aftershock Festival began seven years ago at Gibson Park in Elverta. A few years ago, the venue moved to a smaller location at Discovery Park. Attendees currently have an option of parking their cars at Sleep Train and being shuttled to Discovery Park. Last year the Festival was responsible of filling nearly every hotel room between Woodland and Downtown. Last year the event generated nearly 14 million dollars to Sacramento . While to goal was to grow the three day event to forty thousand people per day, Sacramento has limited the capacity to 25,000 per day.
Enter Sleep Train, the festival is currently using the parking area and providing transportation from, Sleep Train to Discovery. Temporary Amphitheaters could be constructed on the properties existing 100 acres. Insuring the Festival will remain in Sacramento for years to come.
In 1929, William Fox built the San Francisco Fox Theater considered by many the most opulent theaters in the Fox Chain. The theater had 4600 seats. But it was troubled from its opening, the location was too far up Market. and the other theaters. Rapidly decaying, leaders viewed it as a loser for the city. However, there were others who believed the building had other uses. The City left the decision with the Citizens and in 1961 the citizens voted to demolish the theater and sell the land. Which is currently theFox Plaza.
Less than twenty years later, the San Francisco Symphony needed a home, it was sharing the War Memorial Opera house with the San Francisco Ballet and the San Francisco Opera Company. As a result the Symphony was unable to expand to a full year schedule.
In 1980, The Louise M Davies Symphony Hall opened two blocks away from the site of the Fox Theater Site.
There are many cities who have hastily torn down theaters, stadiums and Arenas. Some of the cities were unwilling or lacked the vision, of what could be. There are other that had the vision to re-purpose these building. With the Sleep Train in place, Sacramento has four venues, and the city would in directly benefit from events held at Sleep Train. Golden One and the Convention Center along with the Community Theater are the premier venues in Sacramento.
Sleep Train at, 30 years old, is still a relatively young venue. It currently has something the other venues dont , the potential for growth. It will have most likely to appeal to a different client similar to The Staple Center and the Inglewood Forum. T’he city will benefit from both venues. The owners of the Sacramento Kings should place Sleep Train on the market. The city should revisit area around Sleep Train as an alternative to downtown. Possibly changing the zoning to high density (vertical ) commercial and residential that would make better use of the land and compliment near by Centene and its projected 5000 employees, who might enjoy a indoor profession tennis match a few blocks from work.
Sacramento continues to struggle with its identity . It wants to be world class, however its decisions are shortsighted. Its continues to zone like it was 1963. A subdivision and a Raley’s.
It’s plain, its basic and like it or not, Sleep Train/Acro Arena is an iconic building for Sacramento. Outside of the Capital, it was the most photographed televised building in Sacramento. Many local are proud of its history.
Bulldozing Sleep Train will not guarantee the success of Golden One. Like, Sleep Train, it will age and there will be newer Arenas, with larger screens. Perhaps, our leaders need to Google World Class Cities. Many have theaters Arenas and Stadiums that are much older than Sleep Train. Our civic leaders need to be reminded. The Iconic Sleep Train is still a viable. In 2016, in its worst condition Garth Brooks performed 8 eight shows,sold nearly 90,000 tickets generating over 2 million dollars for singer. The building was very successful but the landlord let it down, let it leak. But they are no longer in Sacramento.
To bull doze Sleep Train Arena and replace it with another Beazer subdivision doesn’t make Sacramento World Class . A city that could attract high tech companies like Amazon or Google and their employees Short term decisions like this continues to make our river city look like a random bedroom community with a capital building.
Contact your Councilperson and Vivek Ranadive, owner of the Sacramento Kings
(Check the City of Sacramento’s Website for Email addresses and Telephone Numbers)
|District 1 – Angelique Ashby|
|District 2 – Allen Warren|
|District 3 – Jeff Harris|
|District 4 – Steve Hansen|
|District 5 – Jay Schenirer|
|Vice Mayor Eric Guerra (District 6)|
|District 7 – Rick Jennings, II|
|District 8 – Larry Carr|
One of the highlights of attending someone else’s wedding is that there’s likely to be some pretty decent free food going around.
Be it a full meal at the reception or a buffet served later on in the evening – and let’s not forget about the cake!
But of course, as with any event, when loading up your plate, you’ve got to be respectful of everyone else and make sure there’s enough for others.
One guest clearly didn’t get the memo about this however and instead they decided to take as much as they could – and even filled up 10 Tupperware containers to take home and enjoy later.
A shocked bride shared a tale about this happening on Facebook.
Posted in a wedding shaming group, the unnamed woman explained that the guest who committed the rude act wasn’t even someone who had initially been invited to the big day.
She said: “My husband and I had a very small wedding ceremony and reception, probably about 25 people were invited. Only close family and a handful of friends.
“I invited my dad’s bff, so he’d have someone to socialize with, other than my mom, plus his friend has always been good to me.
She continued on to say that a few days before the wedding, her dad’s friend asked if it would also be ok if his daughter and husband came along as well.
The bride agreed, but then on the day, things got weird.
“So she shows up, without her husband, but with about 10 Tupperware containers. TO TAKE FOOD.
“We had a buffet style wedding (I’m Polish in Western PA and it’s kinda tradition in our area) and we had a cookie table (look it up – also a tradition, and amazing). She loaded up seven containers with food to take home, took about three containers of homemade cookies, a couple of bottles of beer and most of the centerpieces.”
The bride didn’t notice that this was going on at the time as she was too busy enjoying her wedding – but her father watched it all happen.
She added: “My dad told me about it the next day. And when we opened up our ‘gift’ from her – she gave us $5. Not even kidding. A five dollar bill.
“Before anyone asks, she’s not poor by any stretch of the imagination. She’s probably better off than I am, and I’m assuming it’s because she just freeloads from anyone and everyone she can! But seriously! Who tf does this?”
WEDDING DAY ETIQUETTE
Hundreds of people commented on her post, sharing their thoughts on the situation, with many branding it “tacky” and “rude”.
One said: “Your dad should have said no firmly and never told you about it.”
Another wrote: “You should send her a bill for the centerpieces and food she took. If she doesn’t pay you, small claims. Also, shame her publicly.”
A third added: “That’s so gross. How did not a single person think to mention it to you or tell her wtf. My mom would have been over there telling her off lol.”
When Game of Thrones actress Sophie Turner married musician Joe Jonas in Las Vegas last week, she wore a pair of white, wide-leg trousers – and she’s not the first to ditch a traditional wedding dress for trousers or a jumpsuit.
Last week, British Vogue’s “ultimate modern bridal edit” featured three trouser options. And a report issued by fashion search engine Lyst earlier this spring said that online searches for white suits had increased by 43% over the previous three months.
On the high street, the latest wedding collection from Whistles features a wedding trouser suit as well as a cropped-leg lace jumpsuit, while Asos has a sequin-and-beaded trouser suit, two strappy jumpsuits, and trousers in its women’s bridal range.
On the catwalk, AF Vandevorst’s spring/summer ’19 collection included several bridal outfits, including satin trousers paired with wedding veils. Viktor & Rolf had a white, strapless jumpsuit as one of its 17 bridal looks, while Tadashi Shoji featured long-sleeve bridal jumpsuits in both white and pink.
“We’ve noticed a growing demand for less-traditional bridal outfits such as jumpsuits and separates,” said Amandine Ohayon, CEO of bridal brand Pronovias. “Nowadays, jumpsuits or two-pieces can have the same wow factor as a dress and can also be combined with trains, capes or gloves to provide a genuine bridal feel.”
Swapping a wedding dress for trousers or a jumpsuit is a trend that is emerging predominantly within western cultures, and particularly Christian, Catholic or non-religious ceremonies (trousers have long been part of traditional bridalwear elsewhere). In the UK, the rise in the popularity of wedding trousers coincides with the rise of registry office ceremonies, where brides are more likely to experiment with their look. Less than a quarter (24%) of all marriages were religious ceremonies in 2016 – the lowest figure ever.
More brides are now wearing several outfits over the course of their wedding day (about 23% of brides opt for more than one wedding look, according to Lyst), and there has been a rise in the number of weddings that take place over several days.
“Some brides choose a jumpsuit and a dress, so they can have the best of both worlds,” said Ohayon. “Something more traditional for the ceremony and a jumpsuit to dance the night away.”
Bridal designer Romona Keveža, who is best-known for dressing celebrities including Taylor Swift, Ariana Grande and Lady Gaga, has her UK flagship at The Wedding Gallery in London and included two jumpsuits in her fall 2018 collection. “I love the idea of a jumpsuit for a reception look, or even a civil ceremony or island wedding,” she said.
For some, of course, wedding trousers and jumpsuits may also be a small way to break with convention, while still taking part in this most traditional of ceremonies.
“They are a modern style statement for brides who want to surprise and stand out,” said Ohayon. “[Trousers and jumpsuits] may be a little more individual, while still being glamorous, stylish and aisle-worthy.”
Corseted bodices with high ruffle necks and puffy sleeves. Trains and gloves are worn long.
With dancing at weddings fashionable, gowns are long but looser and easier to move in.
Flapper fashion seeps in, with dropped waists, lower necklines and higher hemlines.
The Depression, so silk is out, affordable rayon in. Figure-hugging styles more common.
Rationing means dress suits or Sunday best but, for those wanting a dress, long sleeves and flowing trains are in.
Tea-length dresses and sweetheart necklines, alongside lace, gloves and full skirts.
Empire-line silhouettes and mini-dress styles. High necklines, mutton sleeves and gloves also feature.
Bohemian fashion, with bell sleeves as well as hats and chokers. Skirt suits also return.
Puffed sleeves, long dresses and cathedral trains. Frilly hemlines and lace cuffs accompanied by oversized bouquets.
Streamlined silhouettes and minimalist dresses, a paired-back styles with little embellishment.
Gloves are out, strapless gowns in. Destination weddings become more popular, calling for dresses which “travel well”.
Mermaid silhouettes, “nude” designs and long sleeves gain early popularity, before brides branch out into jumpsuits and trouser styles.
What is it about Donald John Trump? That makes him so bloody irresistible that people discard every thing they know is true to get his approval? Some go so far as to go to jail for this man. A man who’s loyally is limited to his last name.
Well respected individuals who have spent decades building their personal brands only to have their credibility destroyed after working for the 45th President of the United States.
Sean Spicer, who was a well respected communication director for the Republican National Committee for nearly six years before becoming Trumps Press Secretary. From day one, he was asked to lie about the size of Trumps Inauguration. The American Press was told to ignore what they see and believe the cow chunks he was attempting to sell.
Kelly Ann Conway, was largely responsible for Trumps presidential victory. The woman is a power house, a political consultant, a strategist, who is largely responsible for the term “Alternative Facts” adopted by many Trumpers. Ignore, your eyes,ears and focus on the possible alternatives. Yes, I saw the bus run him over and kill him, however, it is possible, he died before the bus hit him.
One relationship, I will never understand and one that left many of us scratching our collective heads. Lindsey Graham and Donald Trump. The only thing I can come up with is the two must be Lovers. For years, Graham blasted Trump. Graham was the late Senator John McCain of Arizona best friend and is Megan McCain’s Godfather. It must be sex. (Don’t picture it, you may never want to see again)
It there was one loyal friend who walked through the fire it was Jeff Sessions. His first Attorney General and former two term ator from Alabama was uber loyal to the President. Not loyal enough to do Jail time. During the confirmation hearings Sessions said he didn’t have contact with the Russians during presidential campaign. How so nevah, the press said “Oh but you did!” Sessions recused himself from the Russian Investigation. This set the Trumpster on fire!!! Any possible fix was gone and Session became enemy number one and endured many insults from the Prez.
Mother of three, a daughter of banjo playing preacher man. Sarah Huckabee Sanders lied to the press every single day. The pearl necklace wearing lady was Sean Spicers replacement as the Press Secretary. Mr’s Sanders admitted her sins during the Mueller probe. While she later called it “A slip of the tongue” she lied about Comey and the FBI staffers not having confidence in him, lied about Trump Jr and Russian adoptions and the list goes on…………
While the Trumpster may have a devastating kiss, there were a few who Immune and had their own agenda. All of these individuals arrived at the White House dirty and they charmed Trump.
Actually there were four. A Tide wash couldn’t whiten Mike Flynn’s whites. Obama, and others warned Trump. This man is more than tainted he’s nasty! The retired US Army Lieutenant General had a poor reputation. After retirement as a consultant he took money from companies based in Russia. Before becoming the National Security Advisory Flynn told the Russians, the new Trump Administration would remove some the sanctions placed by the Obama Administration. Even after Flynn’s conviction for lying, Trump remains loyal to him. (His sentencing is pending)
Paul Manafort was beyond dingetta. He is rumored to be a member of organized crime (some say for 30 years or more). Manafort has taken millions from the Ukraine, above and under the table. He is been under the watch of several governments for years. Various stories say Trump and Manafort were casual acquaintances and Trump just hired him in early 2016. It is believed, he wanted in the Trump Administration to benefit his interest in the Ukraine. In jail, the 70 year old Manafort could be out by 2024.
Those who Tape
Does anyone really know what Omarosa Manigault Newman’s job was in the White House? Donald Trump’s favorite African American relationship began when she was a contestant on The Apprentice in 2004 . She took the role literally and probably knows the Trumpster best. Like DT, she was a Democrat and Republican. Like DT, she can be charismatic unless your black women. Like DT, her credibility is routinely questioned. On Oprah, she accused a cast mate on The Apprentice of calling her a nigger. No one on the show could verify Omarosa’s account.
January 2018, Omarosa was fired, by John Kelly the White House Chief of Staff. Reports say she didn’t go willingly. She fought to see the President and was physically removed by the Secret Service. She denied being fired, however, she went on Meet the Press and played a tape of her firing.
Turns out that wasn’t the only thing she taped. Shortly after, she appeared on the reality show Big Brother, where she suggested that country is in trouble with Trump at the helm. Omarosa said, she would never vote for him again.
August 2018, Omarosa’s book about her time in the White House “Unhinged” reached number one on the New York Times best seller in its second week. In her book she says the President’s Cognitive functioning is declining. Omarosa has called Trump a racist. She says there are tapes and that witnesses have confirmed the existence of tapes of Trump repeatedly saying “nigger ” during filming of The Apprentice. So far, no one had come forward with of these tapes. There are tapes of Lara Trump attempting to buy her silence.
If there was anyone devoted to Donald Trump it was his Michael Cohen. Cohen was his personal Attorney from 2006 to 2018. I don’t believe his children is as loyal as Michael Cohen. He was once the Vice President of the Trump Corporation. He was willing to go the jail for Trump and then Trump turned on him. Cohen who? But Cohen made recordings of his conversations and while Bill Clinton lied about Monica, Cohen has receipts and copies of checks. While Mueller couldn’t use the recordings, the copies and the checks. New York Southern District Court could, and the court reportedly has everything and poses a much greater threat to Trump than Mueller’s Russian probe. Next week, Michael Cohen begins his three year prison term.
William Barr was the Attorney General under George W Bush and he could have lived his life outside the turbulent waters of the Trump the Administration. In February, he waded in. He seems to be.everything to the President, that Jeff Sessions wasn’t and it could cost him. A few months later he finds himself in troubled waters. Did he lie to Congress in April, when he said that” he didn’t know whether Special Council Robert Mueller supported his conclusions regarding the Russia Report?” The New York Times reported Barr received a letter from Mueller indicating he was not satisfied with Barr’s conclusions. In his letter, Mueller specifically says that Barr’s summary laying out the bottom-line conclusions of the report “did not fully capture the context, nature, and substance of this Office’s work and conclusions.
There are those who believe, he will be a no show and not appear in front of the House, tomorrow. Should he not appear, he will be in contempt of Congress That penalty comes with a fine and a maximum one year in jail. If its is proven he lied to Congress , he could face up to five additional years in prison.
William Barr has several pensions, he didn’t need this job. Perhaps the kiss was too powerful! Maybe he wanted back into the game. But home cheese is scared, rightfully so! Senator Kamala Harris chewed him up and forced him to say, he hadn’t read the report. Yikes! Just think, he could have been at home, watching Maury!
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Rich Women Doing Things recap for this paid television announcement. “Hello, my name is Elvis, and I am a butler at the Baha Mar Resort and Casino on New Providence Island in the Bahamas. No, Rihanna is from Barbados, which is not the Bahamas. Here on New Providence Island we have an enormous complex featuring three hotels, a 100,000 square foot casino, and more than 2,000 rooms. Yes, that means while some of the suites have their own butlers and some guests are treated to lunch and massages on a private island, you will most likely not get that. You will be next to a cramped pool with about 3,000 other people who will most likely be Canadians in cargo shorts past the knees and Crocs. But don’t worry, all of the fountains shoot high enough that the droplets reach the stratosphere. Doesn’t that sound like paradise?”
While the rich women’s trip to this resort looked magical, there is no way that Erika Jayne, Kyle Richards, or Lisa Vanderpump would ever set foot in that enormous eyesore of a resort if the bill weren’t entirely being footed by someone else and they weren’t contractually obligated to be there. Obviously the resort kept them away from the rabble, so even while they were at dinner, cheek to jowl with a church group from Missouri and a woman from Arkansas who is about to enter her third marriage, it looked like the whole thing was very luxurious.
When Erika gets to her room her three-man gay glam squad, including creative director Mikey, is there waiting for her, brushing out a 70-inch ponytail. Erika tells us that all of these women could afford a glam squad but they’re just too cheap to hire one. I appreciate Erika’s dedication to the character of Erika Jayne. She started out being on the show with a certain level of fashion fabulosity and now she’s stuck delivering it year after year. She’s kind of forced everyone to up their fashion and glam games, as Denise Richards disastrously learns.
The first night in the Bahamas, Dorit invites everyone for drinks in her huge suite. Lisa is wearing a green caftan and looking like late-career Elizabeth Taylor, which is a compliment. Erika is in a gorgeous tiger-print pajama suit and said 70-inch ponytail, which is the mother that gave birth to the litter of all of Ariana Grande’s ponytails. Kyle is in a multicolored flowing dress, Lisar is in the slinkiest leopard-print dress I’ve ever seen in my life, and Dorit is in a stupid red bikini top and sea anemone-print pants with a giant red bandeau in her hair. She really does look like Lisa’s dog Schnooki. Denise shows up in a white tank top and sparkly white shorts feeling horrendously underdressed. The poor thing. Doesn’t she watch the show?
Dorit is the only other woman who seems willing to spend the money on a glam squad. The difference between Erika’s glam and Dorit’s glam, however, is that Erika’s is worth the money. The next day on the private island, Erika looks like an ’80s pinup fantasy in a vintage Body Glove one-piece, a pair of Oakley-esque shades, a silver mesh cover-up, and the ponytail, this time braided. Dorit is in an acid green mesh pantsuit and bikini and looks like she is wearing an electrocuted poodle on her head. How can someone spend so much money and still end up looking so mediocre? Every other woman on the trip looks better dressed than her and at a fraction of the cost.
Anyway, we’re not only here to talk about the fashion (though I do request a GIF of Erika in the water wringing out her ponytail), we’re also here to talk about drama, and it all seems to be revolving around Lisa Vanderpump. Erika and Lisa had a small skirmish at lunch when Lisa told Erika that she thought her note of condolence about her brother’s suicide was “standoffish” which Lisa says is something “you have been trying to get over.”
Immediately Erika retreats back into her shell and tells Lisa that she meant every word and that is how she expresses her sympathy. In typical Erika fashion, she gets mean when she gets mad, but I understand where she’s coming from. She sent a very nice, handwritten note, which is a lot of work for people these days. It was not a text or an email, it was something she had to put a stamp on and (have an assistant) take to the post office. I think it was completely sufficient. She also took a picture of it because she knew it would come back up because Lisa is “slippery.”
Lisa says she thought they were closer than that, which is a sentiment I can understand. As Kyle says, Lisa is wracked with grief and that doesn’t always lead to logical reactions. I can excuse her on this one. Lisa quickly apologizes and says she loves Erika and that she did nothing wrong. It seems healed over.
But the essence of Erika’s argument with Lisa dovetails nicely with this whole Dorit Lucy Lucy Apple Juice fiasco. (Why is the dog’s name not Lucy Lucy Apple Juicy? Does no one know how to rhyme anymore? Does no one appreciate parallel structure?) Erika says to Lisa during the fight, “Don’t make me out to be the bad guy.” It seems like everyone one of these women is waiting for Lisa to make them out to be the bad guy and doesn’t want to let her do it.
We all know the basics of the fight: Dorit got a dog from Lisa’s shelter and had to get rid of it and didn’t give it back to Lisa. Dorit was obviously wrong, even though she will never admit it. Lisa has been refusing to talk about it on camera, other than bringing it up privately at dinner with Dorit and her husband PK, a pigeon eating dried puke off the sidewalk.
Kyle makes a joke about the situation at the party in Dorit’s room in front of Lisar who is like, “What is going on?” When they won’t tell her she says, “Well, cheers to keeping secrets,” which is another GIF I could really use. The next day at breakfast, Teddi and Kyle tell Lisa about how Dorit’s dog came up at Vanderpump Dogs and Lisar immediately says, “You guys were set up.”
This is the moment that Lisa Rinna has been anticipating for the better part of two seasons, ever since Lisa embroiled her in that “Muchausen’s” fight with Yolanda Bananas Foster. She knows that Lisa plays dirty behind the scenes and was waiting for the precise moment when she would finally be revealed.
Lisar posits that Lisa told the guys at the store to tell Kyle and Teddi about the dog Dorit dropped off so that Lisa could say, “I don’t want to talk about it,” and she could punish Dorit while still coming off like a saint. That is exactly what happened and both Kyle and Teddi see, in that moment, how Lisa set the whole scenario up.
Teddi says she sees a pattern in Lisa’s behavior, and she’s only been around for a season. Kyle sees this setup as a way for Lisa to “protect her relationship with Dorit, but keep her hands clean.” When they bring it up at dinner with the whole group, Dorit is upset because she thought she and Lisa buried the whole thing.
Lisa is also upset because she says that she has been trying to protect Dorit from this whole mess. If that is the case, she never should have allowed her staff to bring it up while the cameras were on. She also never should have brought it up again on camera with Dorit. She then blames Teddi for gossiping about it and telling everyone, but Teddi didn’t hear about it on camera the first time and she was very careful not to tell anyone else about it. The only reason it came up on camera and Kyle knew was because Lisa’s two Johns brought it up at Vanderpump Dogs. This lands squarely at Lisa’s feet, like one of Schoonki’s organic dog food turds.
Lisar is at the other end of the table telling everyone that it smells like a setup and smiling with the face of a woman who has been waiting two years for her moment and knows enough to grab it like Barbra Streisand clutches a bedazzled white microphone. This seems to be the culmination of something that has been in the works for seasons. It’s a subtext that was started way back during Brandi Glanville’s reign (say her name three times and she shall appear), and it is finally becoming text. All Lisar can do is smile, each toothy tile like a full moon reflected in the Bahamian sea, and all of us waiting for the tide to come in.