Rodfather: Our life is hell!!!


Dear Rodfather……

I married my bride 22 years ago. She is 14 years older than me.  She has three grown children from her first marriage.  Only one of her children is worth anything. The other two are drugged up entitled snots . One is in her late forties and the other one is 51.  My wife had a bad divorce and is filled with guilt,she blames herself and almost never say no to them

Through the years we have paid for rehab, helped them with their bills and even bought her son a car so he could get to and from work.   We’ve had to pay for their apartment we co signed on.  We have watched them walk away from their responsibilities  lose cars and everything they own and it’s never their fault.  I should have retired four years ago but I can’t afford it now.

They have been in and out of our lives throughout most of our marriage.   My wife had to retire early due to major health issues including a hip replacement and heart surgery . The straw that broke the camel’s back is when her son, pushed my wife to the floor.  We called the police and just got a restraining order.    While her daughter hasn’t come back buy my stepson has. Our neighbors watch our house and he recently arrested. So far he’s  been arrested three times. He send his friends over and they knock on our door through the night.    I have lived through broken windows, slashed tires and have been personally attacked several times.   I cant do this anymore.  I want to sell my home and leave the state.   What I’m worried about is that one of these worthless shits will call her and she will send them a ticket.      Rodfather, people in hell have it better than we do, I need some real advice you can call me sick and tired.

 

Dear, Sick and tired……..

Parental guilt is a lifetime and is overrated.  Nearly every parent does the best they can. However, they should not feel guilt for the choices their adult children make!  Her guilt has crippled her children and she has created a life long dependents.   While I agree with you, should leave the area and start a new life, you shouldn’t move until she gets therapy and chooses each other over her children. (A longshot)

Your devotion to your wife is commendable, however you may have to save yourself.  Her children view you as a roadblock to what they believe they are entitled to.  They’ve pushed her, a woman they love who has had heart and hip surgery.  You are simply someone in the way.  The two of you should be living a golden life, but if she choose them, you need to leave and create a new life for yourself.

 

Rodfather

 

 

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The Bump


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“Ask The Rodfather”

The best friendships/relationships hit a bump now and then. In short time that bump get larger and instead of looking for a solution or a cure we pick at the bump, it which builds anger and resentment.
Silence is the enemy
Left on its own, the bump becomes infected. No one wants to be the first to reach out. No one wants to talk about the bump which is front and center in their lives. Over time silence overwhelms the relationship and the infected bump has left a scar.
We can prevent this from happening
Putting ego aside, break the silence. Leave a message that says I miss your voice. You can always talk about the bump later. The most important thing is to re-establish contact. As long term silence can destroy the strongest long term relationships. Can we meet or go for……….
Bumps happens over time. They often occur when one or both parties are uncomfortable telling their truth. They sometimes fear they will be misunderstood or rejected. So they hold on to it until a bump appears.
Remember the things you love and cherish about the your friend or partner. Make an effort to spend time together. Just the two of You. Over time some people forget about the bump. However, if the bump is still present. Write about the bump. Give a copy to your friend and realize everything won’t be resolved today. It will take time. Today you have your friend or partner.
Ask The Rodfather is an Common Sense Advisor  he can be found on facebook