BIG MAN RIDES: Has the world gone mad!

Unlike Europe, America has never really embraced small cars.  In the midwest large cars rule, in the south its the pickup. God help you if your driving a Smart Car on the Interstates . In America, people buy small cars because:   A. They live in urban areas where space is limited. B. Because they are economical. C.Continue reading “BIG MAN RIDES: Has the world gone mad!”

BIG MAN RIDES: Mazda Miata (Wedging an XXXL into a Large)

Introduced in 1990 the Mazda Miata was an instant hit.   It  was a spot on interpretation of the 1960 British Roadsters and unlike the British cars it was reliable.    The small convertible has received worldwide acclaim. There are thousands of Miata Clubs worldwide. Unfortunately its days are numbered.  The Mazda isn’t  selling very many of the cars and being aContinue reading “BIG MAN RIDES: Mazda Miata (Wedging an XXXL into a Large)”

Local Pet Owner Seeks Cat Exorcist

As Seen in Sacramento‘s  Craigslist (pets) desperately seeking exorcist for my cat Seeking pet exorcist to perform exorcism on my evil cat noodles, possessed by the devil itself.   She was so loving until a few weeks ago and now she sleeps on my face to suffocate me.    I  find teeth in my bed and my kids wake up to her scratching  their eyes.  Her fur is coming out in clumpsContinue reading “Local Pet Owner Seeks Cat Exorcist”

Moscow Waiters, Don’t Snatch My Plate!

Save for price, Muscovites should be proud of their developing restaurant scene. But there is one inescapable thing from an expat perspective that drives me crazy about Moscow restaurants: Plate Snatching by Moscow waiters. Plate Snatching is the senseless criminal act of a waiter prematurely snatching a customer’s plate during the dining experience. Moscow waiters have an enshrined compulsive obsessive need to snatch away yourContinue reading “Moscow Waiters, Don’t Snatch My Plate!”

Trapped on RT next to a man with Horrific Breath

The plan: Light Rail out to the Folsom Outlets.  Get a little reading done and a little lunch at the shopping center. Detour 1:  Rite Aid on K Streets for  breath mints (an omen?) Detour 2:  Changing trains on R  Street  Detour 3:  Hasty exit at Watt And the rest of the story.    OnContinue reading “Trapped on RT next to a man with Horrific Breath”

Michael Jock,”Standing his Ground” at the Little Ceasars Pizza on 4th Street

St Petersburg, Florida, 49 year old Randal White was unhappy with the speed of the staff  at the  North Fourth Street  Little Caesars Pizza. Enter, 52 year old  Michael Jock, who basically said, “hey give them a break-they’re moving as fast as they can” Michael Jock Randal wanted Michael to butt out!  and the next thing youContinue reading “Michael Jock,”Standing his Ground” at the Little Ceasars Pizza on 4th Street”

Red Vinyl Chairs Must Be Killed

I was THU (Tired Hungry and Unreasonable) a community meeting went way too long.  I wanted to eat, turn on my Mp3  player and just be still.. Food meant now,  anything warm at  a Seven Eleven  a gulp of some kind or fast food, I don’t care.  I’m not counting numbers.   I forgot, I  carpooled, and I’m theContinue reading “Red Vinyl Chairs Must Be Killed”

Nun Has Bad Habit

A nun has apparently been caught on CCTV stealing BEER from a convenience store fridge. Footage shows a woman in a nun’s habit having a sneaky look around before slipping a can into her pocket. She then grabs a bottle of water from a second fridge before returning to the first one and taking aContinue reading “Nun Has Bad Habit”

Chihuahua terrorizes neighberhood

Killer Police in southern Sweden, who were called out to apprehend a loose dog that was reportedly terrorizing a neighbourhood in the Käglinge district of Malmö, were surprised to find that the aggressive canine was a Chihuahua.   “I did think it was going to be a bigger dog than that,” said Calle person of theContinue reading “Chihuahua terrorizes neighberhood”

When the Farting Begins

My boyfriend at the time was not a small boy. He was a proud former football player and still built like one, too. It was the middle of the night, when all of the sudden I heard him making pushing noises. As he grunted and groaned, I braced myself, anticipating an explosion under the sheets.Continue reading “When the Farting Begins”